PLANTS........

HERE ARE SOME PICTURES OF MY POTTED PLANTS............

MY POINSETTIA ARE STILL FLOWERING AND THEY HAVE BUDS. YES, I WATER THEM WITH ICE CUBES. A TIP I LEARNED FROM MY FRIEND JUDY............ IT WORKS.

MY ORCHID ALSO HAS A NEW SHOT; CAN'T WAIT TILL IT FLOWERS.  I WILL TAKE PICTURES ONCE IT DOES.  IT SO BEAUTIFUL. THIS HAS BEEN MY FIRST ORCHID IN MY LIFE, AND I LOVE IT. I BROUGHT IT ABOUT A YEAR AGO AND I AM SURPRISE I HAVE NOT KILLED IT. BUT THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME REPOTTING MY ORCHID, I HOPE I DID IT RIGHT?????

SPRING IS MY FAVORITE SEASON.............I HAD PLANNED ON STARTING A CUT GARDEN. BUT I DIDN'T GET TO START MY SEEDS IN MY SMALL GREENHOUSE. I GUESS I WILL BE PURCHASING SOME............

MY BABY GIRL WENT CAMPING WITH THE SCHOOL. SHE LEFT THIS MORNING AT 6 AM. I AM ALREADY MISSING HER...........SHE WILL NOT RETURN TILL SATURDAY NIGHT.  THE HOUSE IS GOING TO BE EMPTY.  WITH MY OLDEST WORKING AT NIGHT AND MY BABY GIRL GONE.  WHAT WILL MY HUSBAND AND I AND THE LITTLE MAN WILL DO??????

WELL, TILL NEXT TIME.........BRIN xx  

WEIGH

HERE IS ANOTHER EMAIL INFO......TOO FUNNY.

 

THIS IS WONDERFUL.....and I was doing it all wrong!   

How to weigh yourself and get the most accurate result.
I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years. !

We must get the word out. !!!!

EASTER.......

MY SON HAD A GOOD TIME........WE STARTED OFF SLOW THAT MORNING.  DIDN'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING.......MY HUSBAND AND I TOKE A NAP THAT AFTERNOON. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!!  WE JUST DIDN'T REALLY FEEL GOOD.  BUT AFTER THE NAP, HE MOWED THE LAWN AND STARTED TO BBQ......SO WE HAD A NICE DINNER WITH THE KIDS.  AND WHILE HE WAS DOING THAT I FINISH HOUSEWORK.........

MY HUSBAND AND I ARE DOING WELL...........HE IS STAYING AT THE HOUSE. HE ASKED IF HE COULD MOVE BACK IN LAST WEEK; IF I WANTED........I TOLD HIM, OF COURSE I WANTED HIM.  BUT WE HAD MY DAUGHTER TO THINK ABOUT TOO.....SHE DID ALSO LEAVE FOR REASONS THAT WE NEED TO DEAL WITH......BUT THIS WAS A VERY POSITIVE MOVE ON HIS PART........  SO WE ARE TRYING TO SLOWLY ADJUST THINGS BUT SHE KNOWS THAT DADDY WANTS TO MOVE BACK HOME.  HOME, FINALLY........SO HAPPY.

WELL, TILL NEXT TIME......BRIN.

BAND TRIP PIC'S

MY DAUGHTER'S BAND TRIP PIC'S.......

jem.........

OK.....I FINALLY BROUGHT THIS CD. HERE IS A LINK TO CHECK OUT HER ALBUM. EVEN LISTEN TO SOME OF THE SONGS AND LYRICS. PICTURES AND NEWS, ETC......

http://www.jem-music.net/news/newsindex.html

AND I LOVE IT..........GREAT SONGS......VERY SMOOTH AND TOUCHING.

FINALLY WOKEN...... THIS SONG IS HOW I FEEL. IT ALSO HAS THAT SCRATCHY OLD SONG AFFECT 

finally woken

Finally Woken, Finally Woken

I’ve been thinking ‘bout things
For a long while
I’m feeling so calm
I’ve got a big smile
I have a view of the sun
Right over the sea
And now I can feel
Life is flowing through me

You see I’ve finally woken
From a long sleep
I’m ready to jump
To make that blind leap
Coz I now believe
I have the power in me
I’ve got the faith baby
I can truly be free

Finally Woken
Finally Woken

Child don’t worry it’s ok
The sun is out for another day
And I say it’ll be alright
[be alright]
Today’s the first day of the
rest of your life
Remember, remember,
remember this, remember

Child don’t worry it’s ok
[I’ve got a big smile/I feel good]
The sun is out for another day
[someone’s shining on me]
And I say it’ll be alright
[be alright]
Today’s the first day of the
rest of your life
Remember Remember
Remember this Remember

Child don’t worry it’s ok
The sun is out for another day
Today’s the first day of the
rest of your life
And I say it’ll be alright
[be alright]
Remember, remember,
remember this, remember

Finally Woken
[I’ve got a big smile/I feel good]
Finally Woken
[someone’s shining on me]
Finally Woken
[I’ve got a big smile/I feel good]
Finally Woken
[someone’s shining on me]
And I say it’ll be alright, be alright
And I say it’ll be alright, be alright

ALSO MISSING YOU IS OTHER OF MY FAVORITES......

(In loving memory
of PJ Matthews)

I wish this could be
a happy song
But my happiness disappeared
the moment you were gone
Don’t think I ever believed that
this day would come
Now all I’m feeling
is lost and numb

And ohhh I know I promised
Mmmm that I would try

But I, yes I, miss you
and it’s killing inside

I’ll always be thankful
for the time we had
We were blessed
I should celebrate
but I feel too sad
All the wonderful memories
just make me fall apart
And it feels like somebody’s
stabbed me in my heart

And ohhh I know I promised
Mmmm that I wouldn’t cry

But I, yes I, miss you
and it’s killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
want you by my side

Walking, holding hands
Talking, making plans
Touching my heart my soul

I wish this could be
a happy song
But my happiness disappeared
the moment you were gone
Tell me it’s not happening
Say it’s not as it seems
Tell me that I’m gonna wake up
It’s just a bad dream
Please tell me that it’s fiction
Tell me it’s just a lie
Whatever you choose to tell me
Please say he didn’t die

And I, yes I, miss you
and it’s killing inside
Ooh well I, yes I, miss you
want you by my side
Ooh well I, miss you
want you by my side
Back here by my side
Here by my side

CHERISH YOUR LOVE ONE'S...............

COMMENT......

A TEST WITHIN YOURSELF..........GINA'S COMMENT FROM THE LAST ENTRY.

I FEEL LIKE THAT EVERYTIME I HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION.  IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME BUT WHEN BIG PROBLEM ARISE........I QUESTION MYSELF.

E.E. CUMMINGS...........

" we do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch..Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit." -e.e.cummings

I came upon this today and it's so true how we hold back. But we need to live like there is no tomorrow

YOUNG..........

ANOTHER EMAIL INFO THAT MY COUSIN SENT ME......

 HOW TO STAY YOUNG

      1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay " them " .

      2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

      3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

      4. Enjoy the simple things.

      5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

      6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

      7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

      8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is un
stable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

      9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

      10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every
opportunity.

      AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
      Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its
fullest each day

NOW, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY OLDEST............

REMEMBER THAT SHE IS NOW DRIVING.........

WELL, LAST NIGHT........I HAD A TEAM GAME AND SHE HAD A MEETING FOR 1 OF HER CLUBS FROM SCHOOL.  SO I TOLD HER TO DROP ME OFF AT THE COURTS AND SHE COULD USE THE CAR TO GO TO HER MEETING............

WELL, AFTER MY GAME. WHICH I LOSE. IT WAS 6-4, 6-2.  WHICH IS GOOD. YOU COULD TELL FROM MY SECOND SET SCORE......I WAS GOING DOWN HILL.  I STARTED TO GET A HEADACHE AND COULDN'T PLAY BUT I WANTED TO FINISH THE GAME. BUT IT WAS A GOOD GAME......HAD SOME AWESOME SHOTS.  AND MY SERVES ARE GETTING MUCHBETTER.........

BUT TO GET BACK TO MY DAUGHTER...........AFTER THE GAME I NOTICE ON MY CEL PHONE THAT SHE HAD CALLED ME.  SO I CALL HER BACK. THIS IS THE CONVERSION:

ME: I SEE YOU CALLED ME. WHAT'S UP........

D: I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PICK YOU UP.

ME: WHY??? (AND THINKING, OH MY GOD.... WHAT HAS HAPPEN??? THINKING THE WORSE....)

D: WELL, MY MEETING WAS PUSH BACK TO NEXT WEEK. (WHICH I AM NOW THINKING, WAS IT EVEN LAST NIGHT.) SO I DIDN'T  WANT TO JUST GO HOME. SO I DECIDED TO GO CRUSING...........AND WELL, DAD CAUGHT ME.  AND TOLD ME TO GO HOME AND THAT I WAS GROUNDED.

ME: WELL, WELL........... I WILL FIND A RIDE HOME.  JUST STAY THERE...........

WHEN I GOT HOME.  I TOLD HER THAT IT DOESN'T PAY TO DO SOMETHING YOU SHOULDN'T...........CAUSE IT WILL ALWAYS KICK YOU IN THE BUTT. ONE WAY OR OTHER.........  I TOO HAVE FRIENDS THAT ARE WATCHING............. SO I HOPE SHE LEARNED HER LESSON.  KIDS, HUH......... I TELL YOU BIGGER PROBLEMS. :'(

WELL, TILL NEXT TIME..........BRIN.

FEELINGS........

I HAVE THIS SAD FEELING OVER ME.....I CAN'T THINK. I TRY TO PLAN AHEAD BUT THERE IS TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE, I AM DAYDREAMING, AND CAN GET ENOUGH SLEEP..........  I AM STILL WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

I USE TO MAKE LIST OF THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DONE. THAT'S WHY I STARTED THIS JOURNAL.......I NEED TO GO BACK INTO DOING THAT..  **LIST**

THIS JOB HUNTING IS NOT DOING GOOD.......I AM STILL WAITING AND WAITING.  I THINK THAT IS WHY I AM FEELING SAD.  IT IS SO HARD ON YOUR EGO..........IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?  OR WHAT I SHOULD SAY IS;  " YOU HAVE NOT FOUND THE RIGHT JOB.  THE RIGHT JOB IS OUT THERE. YOU JUST NEED TO GO OUT AND FIND IT."  ~ RIGHT, HUH ~

AND FEELING LIKE THAT GOES INTO EVERYTHING YOU DO.........FOR ME, THE WAY I RUN THIS HOUSE.....NEED TO FINISH SPRING CLEAN, BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY HUSBAND AND KIDS..........I AM LIVING DAY BY DAY WITH THEM. CAN'T REALLY PLAN FOR THE FUTURE BECAUSE WHAT WILL BE THE FUTURE??????  I KNOW DAY BY DAY.  BUT THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO ?????? OH.........MY TENNIS LEAGUE.  YES, I PLAY TENNIS.........WELL, THIS MORNING.  I COULD TELL AND THAT'S WHY I SAY; "I CAN'T THINK."  YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL AND PLAN FOR YOUR MOVE...........WELL, I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.  BUT I LOVE TENNIS!!!!!!

YOU SEE MY PROBLEM..........IT JUST ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO..........ANYMORE???

WELL, TILL NEXT TIME............BRIN.

SO HAPPY.........

SOOOOOOO HAPPY.............

I STARTED TO PUT UP THE FAN LAST NIGHT AND MY HUSBAND SHOWED UP TO HELP ME......SO I DIDN'T DO ALL THE WORK BUT WE HAVE A CEILING FAN IN THE BEDROOM. THAT'S WHAT MATTERS.......SO HOT SUMMER MONTHS.  I AM READY FOR YOU..........

ENVELOPE......

OH MY.......MY COUSIN SENT ME THIS EMAIL. AND AFTER READING THIS......... YOU WILL NEVER WANT TO LICK ANOTHER ENVELOPE OR STAMP AGAIN. 

>I used to work for an envelope company. Our plant supervisor used to work in the Chicago plant and told us not to lick the envelopes because they would often find dead rats at the bottom of the glue barrel (after thousands of envelopes had been glued and shipped). EEWW!

------------------------------------------------------

I work in a factory and we have 2 employees who used to work in an envelope factory. They told me that when the machine jams up, they use whatever water is handy to thin out the glue. This includes water that they just mopped the floor with. Since then, I've avoided licking envelopes...

 ------------------------------------------------------------- If you lick your envelopes... You won't anymore!!! A woman was working in post office in California. One day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady cut her tongue on the envelope. A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, but they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor took an ax-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out!!!! There were roach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist...   This is a true story reported on CNN

 -----------------------------------------------------------

Andy Hume wrote: "Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe the things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven't licked an envelope for years!"

 -----------------------------------------------------------

 To All: I used to work for a print shop (32 years ago) and we were told NEVER to lick the envelopes. I never understood why until I had to go into storage and pull out 2500 envelops that were already printed for a customer who was doing a mailing and saw several squads of roaches roaming around inside a couple of boxes with eggs everywhere. They eat the glue on the envelopes. I think print shops have a harder time controlling roaches than a restaurant. I always buy the self-sealing type. Or if need be, I use a glue stick to seal one that has the type of glue that needs to be wet to stick.

GIVING, GIVING........

I READED SOMEWHERE........... ABOUT KIDS.

LITTLE PROBLEMS WHEN THEY ARE LITTLE, AND BIG PROBLEMS WHEN THEY ARE BIGGER.

BUT ALSO THEY WANTED MORE WHEN THEY ARE BIGGER.............ALOT MORE.

I TRYED TO HAVE A TALK WITH MY  OLDEST. I SAY TRYED CAUSE I DID ALL THE TALKING........  SHE REALLY COULDN'T SAY MUCH.  BECAUSE SHE KNEW SHE WAS IN THE WRONG, BUT SHE STILL WOULDN'T OR SHE DIDN'T WANT TO ADMIT TO IT. 

IT'S GIVE ME THIS, GIVE ME THAT. I NEED THIS, I NEED THAT........... SAME OLD SONG AND DANCE.........  BUT WHEN I ASK FOR SOMETHING OR NEED HER TO DO SOMETHING.  SHE HAS SOMETHING OR SAYS SOMETHING TO THE FACT (REASONS).............

I SEE HOW SHE IS ACTING. AND FOR ME THAT I BEEN THERE, I'VE DONE THAT, ACTED LIKE THAT......(BEEN THERE, DONE THAT THING).  I WANT TO SHOW/TELL HER IT DOESN'T WORK, ACTING/DOING THAT.

SHE GETS UNDER MY SKIN........BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER AND SHE WILL NOT LISTEN.

I KNOW I HAVE THE RULES SET, BUT WHEN I BEND THEM FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS.........I PAY THE CONSEQUENCE. I NEED TO REMEMBER THAT.............

AND NOW THAT SHE IS WORKING.........THINGS ARE GOING TO BE COMPLICATE. WELL, UNTIL WE GET A HANG OF THINGS..........

ALL IN ALL.............I NEED TO TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME WITH HER.  BUT WHEN I SEE THAT SAME OLD SONG AND DANCE........ BOY, IT STIRS ME UP.

LOOK AT WHAT I BROUGHT THIS WEEKEND.........

IT'S A HAMPTON BAY......BEAUTIFULL, HUH......  

 

I AM PUTTING IT UP TONIGHT...... YES I AM DOING THE WORK.  I AM A HANDY LADY.  YEARS AGO, I HAD PUT UP MY GARGAGE DOOR OPENER, BY MYSELF. MY HUSBAND DIDN'T EVEN HELP. NOT EVEN TO HOLD ONE END, WHILE I PUT UP THE OTHER END. I DID IT........AND IT'S STILL WORKING.......SO PUTTING IN THE CEILING FAN WILL BE NO PROBLEMS. OH......IT'S GOING INTO MY BEDROOM. WHICH HAS VAULT CEILING, SO I NEEDED A DOWNROD. COOL,HUH........  

 

SPEAKING OF MY HUSBAND........THINGS ARE OK.  WE ARE DOING GOOD.  BUT I FEEL LIKE I AM WAITING FOR THE BALL TO DROP.  LIKE I AM ON EGG SHELLS.......I DON'T KNOW WHY. BECAUSE ANY PROBLEMS THAT HAVE BEEN ARISING. WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO WORK IT OUT......HE IS NOT GIVING UP.

GOOD SIGN, HUH......  

WELL, TILL NEXT TIME.......BRIN.

THE FAMILY THAT STICKS TOGETHER..........

.......GETS SICK TOGETHER.

WELL, ALONG WITH EAR INFECTION. MY SON CAME DOWN WITH THE STOMACH BUG, UHHHH...........  AND EVERYONE CAME DOWN WITH IT.

MY HUSBAND GOT THE WORST OF IT......... HE THROW UP SO MUCH.  WHAT WAS STRANGE WAS THAT HE SAID HIS HEART FELT WEIRD, WHEN HE WAS THROWING UP. HE WAS VERY WEAK, IT TOKE ALOT OUT OF HIM. HE IS STILL RECOVERING FROM IT.  I CAME DOWN WITH A TOUCH OF IT.......NO THROWING UP, BUT STOMACH ACHE (BAD) AND VISITING THE TOILET, ALOT. (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN)  WHICH WAS GOOD......CAUSE I NEEDED TO STILL RUN THIS HOUSE AND TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE.......... MY SON, BOY.......WE WENT THOUGH SO MUCH DIAPERS AND THE WASHER MACHINE KEPT RUNNING EVERYDAY........I THINK EVERYDAY I WAS UP AT 6 AM TO CHANGE SHEETS AND PJ'S PLUS THE DIAPER.  OH MY..... DID I WASH MY HANDS SO MUCH.......

OH......... MY GOOD NEWS.................

MY OLDEST IS A WORKING GIRL.............

YES, SHE GOT A JOB.... HER 1ST JOB..... AT CHILI'S.... SHE IS A HOSTESS.....

LUCKY FOR HER SHE DIDN'T GET THE BUG STRONG.......SHE ONLY HAD BAD STOMACH ACHES.

NOW, THE REASON FOR THE JOB............ DURING SPRING BREAK. MY OLDEST RECEIVED HER DRIVE LICENSE TOO........

LUCKY, HUH...... DRIVE LICENSE AND JOB.

WELL, FINACIALLY......... I AM NOT ABLE TO GET INSURANCE FOR HER TO DRIVE, SO SHE IS WANTING TO HELP OUT........NICE OF HER, HUH.......

WELL, LAST NIGHT......... WE HAD A TALK ABOUT THAT.  SINCE, EVERYONE HAD BEEN SICK.........

OH.... I FORGOT...... DURING THE SICKNESS......MY REFRIGERATOR DIE........ YES. I HAD SPOILING MILK ALONG WITH WATER EVERYWHERE. MY HUSBAND AND I WENT SHOPPING FOR ANOTHER ONE...........CAN YOU BELEIVE THE WEEK WE HAD.

WELL, BACK TO MY DAUGHTER. SHE WAS UPSET THAT I DID NOT TALK TO THE INSURANCE COMPANY ABOUT HER........SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE WEEK I HAD........SO SELF CENTER.......THE AGE, HUH.  AND I REMIND HER THAT SHE STILL HAS NOT RECEIVE HER 1ST PAYCHECK......SHE SHOULDN'T RUSH THINGS.  BUT THAT'S LIKE ASKING FOR HER TO WATCH A POT OF WATER TO COME TO A BOIL.......

SO SHE IS UPSET WITH ME, GIVING ME ATTITUDE..............

MY HUSBAND WAS ON VACATION, THIS WEEK........WHAT A WAY TO SPEND YOUR VACATION...........SICK.........HUH.... WELL, WE DIDN'T DO MUCH. LIKE WE COULD.........I WISH WE COULD OF HAD SOME "YOU AND I" TIME, BUT LIFE WITH KIDS GOES ON...........

WELL, TILL NEXT TIME........BRIN.

GOING AND GOING.......

JUST GOING.......LIVING DAY BY DAY.  THINGS ARE SO BUSY........

MY GIRLS ARE ON SPRING BREAK AND MY SON IS SICK ONCE AGAIN.........  HE HAS EAR INFECTION ON BOTH EARS....... BUT HE HAS BEEN THROWING UP, STRANGE. HE STILL HAS AN APPETITE, NOT RUNNING FEVER. SO I'M PLANNING TO CALL THE DOCTOR TOMORROW MORNING.......

AS FOR MY HUSBAND AND I.  STILL GOING..........AT TIMES THINGS ARE BAD, BUT WE WORK THREW IT. I HAVE TO WRITE MORE ABOUT THIS LATER......IT IS LATE AND I NEED SOME SLEEP. I HAVE NOT BEEN SLEEPING WELL...........LOOK HERE IS A PICTURE MY DAUGHTER TOOK THE OTHER DAY.  AND IT WAS IN THE AFTERNOON..........

YES THAT IS TIGGER WITH ME.........

CHECK THIS OUT............

  MY OLDEST DAUGHTER WENT ON A BAND TRIP BEFORE SPRING BREAK AND SHE CAME BACK WITH THIS...........   IT'S A BUILD-A-BEAR...........TO COOL.......... SHE MADE THIS HER SELF........ SHE HAD SO MUCH FUN. AND OF COURSE........IT'S FOR THE LITTLE MAN.  MY HUSBAND IS A BASKETBALL PLAYER..........TOURNAMENTS, PLAYS 3X A WEEK.....JUST BASKETBALL IS SECOND NATURE TO HIM.  WELL, MY SON IS SO MUCH LIKE HIM.........WE HOPE THAT HE WILL LOVE BASKETBALL LIKE MY HUSBAND..........SO THAT'S WHY BASKETBALL BEAR.  SHE ALSO WENT TO THE HARD ROCK CAFE.  SHE HAD SO MUCH FUN........... 

WELL, IT'S LATE AND I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY.....SO NITE, NITE......... BRIN.

STEPPING BACK...........

THINGS ARE NOT GOING GOOD TODAY.............

OK......LAST SUNDAY, I CONFRONTED MY HUSBAND ON HOW I WAS FEELING. I TOLD HIM THAT I FELT HE WAS HOLDING BACK, BEING RESERVED. I TOLD HIM I WAS GIVING MY ALL, WAS MAKING THE 1ST MOVES. REACHING OUT FOR HIM, BEING AFFECTIONATE, ETC, ETC.........I FELT RESERVED FROM HIM.......... NOT GOOD.  RED FLAGS GOING UP IN MY HEAD.

SO I TOLD HIM ALL THIS.........HE WAS UPSET WITH ME. WELL, HE TOLD ME THE REASON......WE ARE GOING SLOW, TAKE OUR TIME ABOUT THIS.  AND THAT I WANTED EVERYTHING RIGHT AWAY.......AND THAT'S ME.  IT TAKES TIME TO GAIN TRUST BACK, HE HAD SAID. HE REMINDED ME THAT WE HAD BOTH AGREED TO TAKE IT SLOW.......BUT I FELT THIS WAY AND WANTED HIM TO KNOW.

WELL, LAST NIGHT HE DIDN'T STAY AT THE HOUSE. HE WENT BACK TO THE APARTMENT........HE SAID HE NEEDED HIS SPACE AND THAT LAST SUNDAY. HOW I REACTED. HAS HIM THINKING ABOUT THINGS.

FOR ME, I REALLY AM THINKING THIS COULD BE OVER.........WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK???????

MY FRIEND SHANNON SENT ME THIS EMAIL....... IT HAS SOME GOOD POINTS I LIKED.

 

Did you know ???

       

Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?
     

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most succeptible?        

Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?        

 Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are :         

 I love you, Sorry and help me       

 The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.  
     

Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?             

Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?        

Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?        

Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?        

Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?        

Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don't mention it to you?  
     

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face?

But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?        

Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?        

Did you know that if you ask  for something in faith, your wishes are granted?        

Did you know that youcan make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you'd be surprised by what you could do.   
     

But don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself , if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you'll  see  that  it  will  be  returned  in two-fold.    

SOME GOOD POINTS HUH......

MY ALL..........

I READED THIS THE OTHER DAY FROM OTHER JOURNAL.........

I refuse to give of my heart, my time, my love, my respect and care to anyone who cannot give of it freely in return. I can no longer settle for a one-sided relationship with anyone. I've done it too often and have been hurt too much. I deserve better.

I HATE TO ADMIT THIS, BUT I TREATED MY HUSBAND BAD......... LOOKING AT IT.  I DO AGREE (WITH MY MOTHER) THAT WE MARRIED TO YOUNG...... I WAS 18 ABOUT TO BE 19, AND MY HUSBAND WAS 21. I DID NOT KNOW ME.......... MY  TRUE ME.........

AND I MADE MANY MISTAKES......... AND I KNOW REALIZE HOW MUCH MY HUSBAND LOVES ME........ AFTER 17 YEARS, HE TOKE ALOT FROM ME........

HE IS A KIND, STRONG, LOVING MAN......... IT WAS MY FAULT FOR ALL THE BAD TIMES. I REALIZE SO MUCH NOW.......AND HAVE GROWN SO MUCH.

THAT JOURNAL QUOTE IS WHAT I DID ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIP AND I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT.  I WANT TO GIVE MY ALL, MY HEART, MY LOVE, MY SOUL TO MY HUSBAND............ I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.  I TRUELY THINK HE KNOWS ME MORE THAN I WOULD LIKE TO ADMIT............

EVEN THROUGH WE BOTH ARE WORKING NOW ON OUR RELATIONSHIP.......I AM STILL AFRAID OF BEING REJECTED FROM HIM. THAT HE IS NOT ABLE TO FORGIVE ME.........

ONLY TIME WILL TELL......... TILL NEXT TIME. BRIN.

MY FRIEND SUSAN SENT ME THIS EMAIL. I WANT TO SHARE IT.  IT REALLY MADE ME THINK, MY OLDEST IS 16TH YEARS OLD. AND I AM GLAD THINGS ARE NOT THIS BAD FOR HER......  

Midnight Phone Call
===================

We all know what it's like to get that phone call in the middle
of the night.  This night's call was no different.  Jerking up to
the ringing summons, I focused on the red illuminated numbers of
my clock.  Midnight.  Panicky thoughts filled my sleep-dazed mind
as I grabbed the receiver.

"Hello?"

My heart pounded; I gripped the phone tighter and eyed my
husband, who was now turning to face my side of the bed.

"Mama?" I could hardly hear the whisper over the static.  But my
thoughts immediately went to my daughter.  When the desperate
sound of a young crying voice became clearer on the line, I
grabbed for my husband and squeezed his wrist.

"Mama, I know it's late, but don't...don't say anything, until I
finish.  And before you ask, yes, I've been drinking.  I nearly
ran off the road a few miles back, and..."

I drew in a sharp shallow breath, released my husband and
pressed my hand against my forehead.  Sleep still fogged my mind,
and I attempted to fight back the panic.  Something wasn't right.

"And I got so scared.  All I could think about was how it would
hurt you if a policeman came to your door and said I'd been
killed.  I want...to come home.  I know running away was wrong.  I
know you've been worried sick.  I should have called you days
ago, but I was afraid...afraid..."

Sobs of deep-felt emotion flowed from the receiver and poured
into my heart.  Immediately I pictured my daughter's face in my
mind and my fogged senses seemed to clear.  "I think--"

"No! Please let me finish! Please!" She pleaded, not so much in
anger but in desperation.

I paused and tried to think of what to say.  Before I could go on,
she continued, "I'm pregnant, Mama.  I know I shouldn't be
drinking now...especially now, but I'm scared, Mama.  So scared!"

The voice broke again and I bit into my lip, feeling my own eyes
fill with moisture.  I looked at my husband who sat silently
mouthing, "Who is it?"

I shook my head and when I didn't answer, he jumped up and left
the room, returning seconds later with the portable phone held
to his ear.

She must have heard the click in the line because she continued,
"Are you still there? Please don't hang up on me! I need you.  I
feel so alone."

I clutched the phone and stared at my husband, seeking guidance.
"I'm here, I wouldn't hang up," I said.

"I know I should have told you, Mama.  But when we talk, you just
keep telling me what I should do.  You read all those pamphlets
on how to talk about sex and all, but all you do is talk.  You
don't listen to me.  You never let me tell you how I feel.  It is
as if my feelings aren't important.  Because you're my mother, you
think you have all the answers.  But sometimes I don't need
answers.  I just want someone to listen."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared at the how-to-talk-
to-your-kids pamphlets scattered on my nightstand.  "I'm
listening," I whispered.

"You know, back there on the road, after I got the car under
control, I started thinking about the baby and taking care of
it.  Then I saw this phone booth and it was as if I could hear
you preaching about people shouldn't drink and drive.  So I
called a taxi.  I want to come home."


"That's good, Honey," I said as relief filled my chest.  My
husband came closer, sat down beside me and laced his fingers
through mine.  I knew from his touch that he thought I was doing
and saying the right thing.

"But you know, I think I can drive now."

"No!" I snapped.  My muscles stiffened, and I tightened the clasp
on my husband's hand.  "Please, wait for the taxi.  Don't hang up
on me until the taxi gets there."

"I just want to come home, Mama."

"I know.  But do this for your mama.  Wait for the taxi, please."

I listened to the silence in fear.  When I didn't hear her
answer, I bit into my lip and closed my eyes.  Somehow I had to
stop her from driving.

There's the taxi, now."

Only when I heard someone in the background asking about a
Yellow Cab did I feel my tension easing.

"I'm coming home, Mama." There was a click and the phone went
silent.

Moving from the bed with tears forming in my eyes, I walked out
into the hall and went to stand in my sixteen-year-old daughter's
room.  The dark silence hung thick.  My husband came from behind,
wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my
head.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks.  "We have to learn to listen,"
I said.

He pulled me around to face him.  "We'll learn.  You'll see." Then
he took me into his arms, and I buried my head in his shoulder.

I let him hold me for several moments, then I pulled back and
stared back at the bed.  He studied me for a second, then asked,
"Do you think she'll ever know she dialed the wrong number?"

I looked at our sleeping daughter, then back at him.  "Maybe it
wasn't such a wrong number."

"Mom, Dad, what are you doing?" The muffled young voice came
from under the covers.  I walked over to my daughter, who now sat
up staring into the darkness.  "We're practicing," I answered.

"Practicing what?" she mumbled and laid back on the mattress,
her eyes already closed in slumber.

"Listening," I whispered, and brushed a hand over her cheek

BOY, DOES THIS HIT. I HUG MY KIDS ALITTLE LONG NOW.......... BRIN.

I WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE THIS WEEKEND........

A QUOTE FROM THE TRAILER;

"THE HARDEST THING IS LOVING SOMEONE, THEN HAVING THE COURAGE TO LET THEM LOVE YOU BACK." (WROTE FROM AN EARLY ENTRY.)

WELL, NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE......... AFTER HE SAID THAT LINE. HE ALSO SAID, IF SHE KNOWS YOUR S**T AND YOU KNOW HER S**T AND AT THE END OF THE DAY. YOU WANT TO STILL BE WITH HER.  THEN IT WAS MEANT TO BE..................

IT SO TRUE.........HOW MUCH YOU CAN TAKE FROM ONE PERSON.  HOW MUCH LOVE FOR THEM.  MAKES YOUR LIFE.............

THERE IS NO ONE PERSON THAT IS PERFECT...... WE ARE ALL HUMAN. 

AND THIS MOVIE WAS SO ON THAT.......... FROM THE GUY SHE HIRED, TO HER HALF SISTER, TO  HERSELF......... PEOPLE ARE NOT PERFECT.  BUT LOVE IS SO TRUE..........

I LOVE THE MOVIE.  IT HAD SOME GOOD PUNCH LINES......... TO FUN TO REPEAT, BUT IT WAS VERY NICE MOVIE..........

WELL, THINGS IN THE HOMEFRONT. ARE GOING AND GOING. STILL WITH ALITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING..............  KIDS ARE DOING GOOD. I THINK EVEN MY OLDEST IS SHOWING SOME SIGNS OF POSITIVE REACTIONS..........

I AM TRYED....... MY HUSBAND AND I TALKED TILL 3 AM ON SAT NIGHT TO SUNDAY MORNING....... I LOVE THOSE TALKS. WE TALKED AND TALKED.  WHEN I ASKED WHAT TIME IT WAS. I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT WE TALKED SO LONG. IT WAS NICE........BEING WITH HIM.  I AM LOVING EVERY MOMENT WITH HIM..........

WELL, OFF TO WORK....... TILL NEXT TIME, BRIN.

POEM.........

BY BARBARA CAGE,

I LOVE YOU BECAUSE.........

YOU CAN MAKE ME SMILE

WHEN NO ONE ELSE CAN,

AND IN YOUR ARMS I FEEL

SAFE, AND SECURE.

YOU'RE ATTENTIVE AND ROMANTIC

YOU LISTEN TO MY INTERESTS

AND WORRIES

AND YOU CARE.

YOU'RE KIND AND THOUGHTFUL

AND YOU SEE THE GOOD IN OTHERS.

YOU'RE HARDWORKING AND DETERMINED

YET YOU KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN.

YOU LOVE ME

AND YOU'RE OPEN AND HONEST

ABOUT THE LOVE WE SHARE.

YOUR SMILE MELTS MY HEART

AND YOUR TOUCH CAN SET ME ON FIRE.

I LOVE YOU BECAUSE.........

YOU'RE YOU

AND YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME!

LEASE........

MY HUSBAND IS NOT ABLE TO GET OUT OF HIS LEASE...........

MAYBE........ THAT IS A GOOD THING.  GIVES US TIME TO WORK AT THIS SLOWLY..........

FOR ME, I NEED TO START WORKING, BECAUSE OF FINANCIAL STANDINGS. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN........ BUT I REALLY DO WANT HIM WITH ME.............  THEN I REMEMBER THIS QUOTE;

"FROM EACH OF LIFE'S MISFORTUNES, LARGE OR SMALL, COMES A NEW BEGINNIG, AN OPPORTUNITY TO RENEW YOUR FAITH IN THE FUTURE."

THE FUTURE WITH MY HUSBAND............ BUT I REALLY WOULD LOVE HIM IN MY BED EVERY NIGHT. 

THERE IS ALSO OTHER PROBLEM........ MY OLDEST DAUGHTER HAS GIVEN US THE IMPRESSION THAT SHE REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO MOVE HOME......... I THINK SHE LOVES HER INDEPENDENCE. SOME NIGHTS, SHE WOULD BE ALONE AT THE APARTMENT. NOT LONG, BUT SHE ENJOYED HER TIME ALONE...... WE NEED TO TALK TO HER MORE ABOUT THIS, AND MAYBE OTHER PROBLEMS WE ARE NOT AWARE..........

 

HERE IS A CUTE PICTURE OF MY SON AND TIGGER.........

  HE IS HAVING FUN WITH THE KITTEN......   WELL, TILL NEXT TIME......... BRIN.

TIME IS GOING..........

LIFE IS JUST GOING.......

WHICH IS FINE WITH ME........  THINGS WITH MY HUSBAND ARE GOING SLOW BUT POSITIVE WITH ALITTLE OF EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.  WHICH I AM HAPPY FOR.........

MY GIRLS ARE OK, BUT I AM STILL WORRY THAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH MORE THAN WE THINK........

MY SON........ ONCE AGAIN, WAS AT THE DOCTOR OFFICE.  LAST NIGHT, ONCE AGAIN..... FEVER 102.3. SO THE DOCTOR DID BLOODWORK TO CHECK HIS WHITE COUNT..... THEY PRICKED HIS RING FINGER. AND HOLDING DOWN A SCREAMING 2 YEAR OLD IS NOT EASY. I WANT TO CRY WITH HIM........IT WAS LOW. WHICH HE SAID IT'S AN INDICATION HE FIGHTING A VIRUS INFECTION.   SO, TAKE MORTIN FOR THE FEVER AND BY THE WEEKEND, HE SHOULD BE FEELING BETTER.........

I, MYSELF AM COMING DOWN WITH UTI (BLADDER INFECTION), WAITING FOR MY MEDICINE........ AND VISITING THE BATHROOM EVERY 5 MIN'S...........  LOVELY, HUH..........

ALSO, TIGGER....... OUR NEW ADDITION.

MY KIDS ARE SO HAPPY........... THEY ARE ENJOY HIM....... BUT HE HAS HIS NIGHTS AND DAYS MIXED UP.   WANTS TO PLAY AT NIGHT AND SLEEP IN THE DAY, UHHHHH.......... AND WHO HAS TO DEAL WITH IT.

WILL THE PASS 2 NIGHTS HE HAS BEEN SLEEPING IN MY BED.  WHICH I HAVE TO SAY..... HE FOLLOWS ME ALOT..... WANTS TO ALWAYS BE WITH ME, HUH.......  BUT HE IS POTTY TRAINING WELL. NO ACCIDENT TO REPORT. AND HE IS PLAYFUL.  SO MUCH LIKE TIGGER FROM WINNIE THE POOH........ THEY NAMED HIM CORRECTLY....

OHHHH...... MY JOB INTERVIEW YESTERDAY........

IT WENT VERY WELL........ I HOPE SOOOO.......... BUT FOR ME, I THINK I WILL BE HERE FROM THEM.....BUT IF I DON'T THEM IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE......... MY JOB IS OUT THERE, I JUST NEED TO FIND IT.

WELL, OFF TO PICK UP MY MEDICINE...... TILL NEXT TIME..... BRIN.