Tuesday, March 22, 2005

FEELINGS........

I HAVE THIS SAD FEELING OVER ME.....I CAN'T THINK. I TRY TO PLAN AHEAD BUT THERE IS TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE, I AM DAYDREAMING, AND CAN GET ENOUGH SLEEP..........  I AM STILL WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

I USE TO MAKE LIST OF THINGS THAT NEED TO BE DONE. THAT'S WHY I STARTED THIS JOURNAL.......I NEED TO GO BACK INTO DOING THAT..  **LIST**

THIS JOB HUNTING IS NOT DOING GOOD.......I AM STILL WAITING AND WAITING.  I THINK THAT IS WHY I AM FEELING SAD.  IT IS SO HARD ON YOUR EGO..........IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?  OR WHAT I SHOULD SAY IS;  " YOU HAVE NOT FOUND THE RIGHT JOB.  THE RIGHT JOB IS OUT THERE. YOU JUST NEED TO GO OUT AND FIND IT."  ~ RIGHT, HUH ~

AND FEELING LIKE THAT GOES INTO EVERYTHING YOU DO.........FOR ME, THE WAY I RUN THIS HOUSE.....NEED TO FINISH SPRING CLEAN, BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY HUSBAND AND KIDS..........I AM LIVING DAY BY DAY WITH THEM. CAN'T REALLY PLAN FOR THE FUTURE BECAUSE WHAT WILL BE THE FUTURE??????  I KNOW DAY BY DAY.  BUT THAT MAKES ME FEEL SO ?????? OH.........MY TENNIS LEAGUE.  YES, I PLAY TENNIS.........WELL, THIS MORNING.  I COULD TELL AND THAT'S WHY I SAY; "I CAN'T THINK."  YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL AND PLAN FOR YOUR MOVE...........WELL, I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.  BUT I LOVE TENNIS!!!!!!

YOU SEE MY PROBLEM..........IT JUST ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO..........ANYMORE???

WELL, TILL NEXT TIME............BRIN.

2 comments:

  1. Brin, sometimes things just become a bit too much when there is so much going on. I know that feeling all too well. Take a deep breath, and find time to do something for YOU. You will find the right job.....just remember that you are loved and needed and a special lady. Sounds to me like you are very anxious right now. Step back and just do one thing at a time. We're here for you if you need us. Love, lisa

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  2. I remember the lists you make in this journal...Might help to start doing again, I agree. I was thinking of starting to do things. I get so overwhelmed with work and home, its nuts. Good luck with the job, dont get discouraged.
    Ellen

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