4TH SECTION.......

FROM:

THE BEST OF OPRAH'S "WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE."

"IT'S NOT EASY BEING GRATEFUL ALL THE TIME.  BUT IT'S WHEN YOU FEEL LEAST THANKFUL THAT YOU ARE MOST IN NEED OF WHAT GRATITUDE CAN GIVE YOU."

 

"SAY THANK YOU!" THOSE WORDS FROM MY FRIEND AND MENTOR MAYA ANGELOW TURNED MY LIFE AROUND.  ONE DAY ABOUT TEN YEARS AGE, I WAS SITTING IN MY BATHROOM WITH THE DOOR CLOSED AND THE TOILET LID DOWN, BOOING AND AHOOING ON THE PHONE SO UNCONTROLLABLY THAT I WAS INCOHERENT.  "STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW AND SAY THANK YOU!" MAYA CHIDED.

 

"BUT YOU-YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND," I SOBBED. TO THIS DAY, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS THAT HAD ME SO FAR GONE, WHICH ONLY PROVES THE POINT MAYA WAS TRYING TO MAKE.  "I DO UNDERSTAND," SHE TOLD ME.  "I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT NOW. OUT LOUD. 'THANK YOU.' "  TENTATIVELY, I REPEATED IT: "THANK YOU-BUT WHAT AM I SAYING THANK YOU FOR?"

"YOU'RE SAYING THANK YOU," MAYA SAID, "BECAUSE YOUR FAITH IS SO STRONG THAT YOU DON'T DOUBT THAT WHATEVER THE PROBLEM, YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT.  YOU'RE SAYING THANK YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT EVEN IN THE EYE OF THE STROM, GOD HAS PUT A RAINBOW IN THE CLOUDS.  YOU'RE SAYING THANK YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW THERE'S NO PROBLEM CREATED THAT CAN COMPARE TO THE CREATOR OF ALL THING.  SAY THANK YOU!"

 

WHEN YOU LEARN TO SAY THANK YOU, YOU SEE THE WORLD ANEW.  AND AS MEISTER ECKHART SO ELOQUENTLY STATED:  "IF THE ONLY PRAYER YOU EVER SAY IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS 'THANK YOU,' THAT WOULD SUFFICE."

 

 

I TOO RECENTLY WAS BOOING AND AHOOING. SO UNCONTROLLABLY. MY FRIEND THELMA ON THE OTHER LINE WAS COMFORING ME AND TRYING TO GIVE ME WORDS OF PEACE.  I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE SITUATION I AM IN.  WORRING HOW I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT TO THE NEXT DAY.  THINGS FOR ME FELT LIKE IT WAS HEADING DOWN HIL.  STILL NOT ABLE TO FIND WORK.  MY MONEY IN THE BANK WAS STARTING TO COUNT.  I WAS REALLY WORRIED...........  BUT IT REALLY DIDN'T MATTER.  I MEAN...........  I CAME OUT OF IT........  WITH MORE STRENGTH.  I DIDN'T GIVE UP.  I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND A FULL TIME JOB.  BUT I SAY "THANK YOU" RIGHT NOW.  CAUSE I KNOW IT WILL WORK OUTIN THE END.  I AM PLANNING FOR IT.  I AM DOING WHAT I CAN RIGHT NOW.  BUT I WILL GO TO COLLEGE AND I WILL PLAN TO DO IT.  AS I WILL PLAN ON MY NEXT MEAL TO MY NEXT BILL, AND SO FORTH.............

I STILL REMEMBER HOW I FELT, BOOING AND AHOOING. BUT I KNOW, THAT I AM THANKFUL, FOR EVERYTHING.  BECAUSE THIS IS LIFE.  THE HARD TIME, ALONG WITH THE GOOD TIME............

THE GOOD TIMES BRINGS SMILES TO ME.  AND THE BAD TIMES GIVES ME STRENGTH.  AND I WILL STILL CRY BUT I KNOW THAT I WILL NOT GIVE UP...........

TILL NEXT TIME....... 

                  

I RECEIVED ANOTHER EMAIL I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE..........

THIS IS A TOUCHING STORY.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. 

! She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.

I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty y ears old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.


WHAT I LEARNED..............
LIVE, HAVE DREAMS. GROW UP NOT OLDER. FINDING OPPORTUNITYS IN CHANGE. HAVE NO  REGRETS.......

NOW THE SONG: "THE ROSE".........IS ANYONE FAMILIAR WITH THIS SONG?  I WOULD LIKE TO READ THE LYRICS.

TILL NEXT TIME......... 

3RD SECTION..........

OF THE BEST OF OPRAH'S "WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE"..............

"IT'S UP TO EACH OF US TO GET VERY STILL AND SAY, 'THIS IS WHO I AM.' NO ONE ELSE DEFINES YOUR LIFE. ONLY YOU DO."

I TRUST THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, EVEN WHEN WE'RE NOT WISE ENOUGH TO SEE IT OR WHEN IT'S NOT READILY APPARENT.  SO WHENEVER TROUBLE COMES MY WAY, I ASK, "WHAT IS THIS HERE TO TEACH ME?  WHAT AM I NOT SEEING?"  I TRUST THE ANSWER WILL COME.

ALL TRAILS FORCE THE QUESTION, WHO ARE YOU, REALLY?  AND YOU MUST TRUST YOURSELF TO ANSWER.

I TRUST THAT LIFE IS BIGGER THAN WHAT I CAN SEE.  I TRUST THAT THERE IS A DIVINE ORDER BEYOND MY CNTROL.  AND I TRUST THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I WILL BE ALL RIGHT.


         


TRUST IN ME..........HUH.........IT WILL BE ALRIGHT.

IT WILL BE ALRIGHT............
I GUESS CAUSE I WILL HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES MY WAY.............AS FOR ANYONE........
I HAVE TOLD MY DAUGHTERS; "THERE IS A SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM.  YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND IT."
AND I GUESS WHAT OPRAH IS SAYING........'WITH'........ "WHO ARE YOU, REALLY?"

NOW, I HAD A GOOD DAY.........
I LEARNED HOW TO PUT MUSIC ON MY JOURNAL........."
I AM LOVING THIS CREATIVE SIDE OF ME.......I COULD DO THINGS I DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO.  WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM PEOPLE, WHO KNOW HOW TO DO IT.........
BUT THERE IS ONE THING THAT I AM NOTICING........
I AM GOOD WITH DIRECTIONS, STEP BY STEP.......
WHAT JOB WILL I BE GOOD AT.......

I AM THINKING ABOUT THAT CAUSE, LIKE I SAID I HAD A GOOD DAY.......
I WENT TO THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE.  AND I PUT MY APPLICATION IN.  I ALSO TALK TO FINACIAL AID. AND SHE HELP ME WITH MY PAPERWORK.....SO HAPPY.......
SO I AM TRYING TO FIND THAT ONE JOB I WOULD LOVE AND BE GOOD AT........SO ANY SUGGESTION???????

NOW, ALSO..........REMEMBER THAT I HAD NOT SPOKEN WITH MY HUSBAND SINCE THURSDAY MORNING.  WELL, GUESS WHO CALLED ME...........
YES, HIMSELF.........BUT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.  DIDN'T EXPECTED IT.  LIKE I WOULD........I WAS TRYING TO AVOID HIM, AND I WAS DOING A GOOD JOB.
NOW.............WHAT TO DO.  I AM NOT GOING BACK TO THE SAME "?"............WE ALSO DIDN'T GET TO TALK MUCH.  BUT, MY FIRST THOUGHT AND REACTIONS WAS HAPPY TO HEAR FROM HIM.............
BUT THEM I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW HE IS..........AND IS HE CALLING BECAUSE HE IS CHANGING OR IS REALIZING THINGS............
WE TALKED ABOUT THE KIDS, AND BEING THAT I WAS WORKING........WE WOULD TALK LATER.  WELL, IT'S LATER AND HE STILL HASN'T CALLED.  BUT THE NIGHT IS STILL NOT OVER...........
SO WILL SEE.

I TOO HAVE TO GO........I WORK 1 HOUR TONIGHT.  SO I WILL BE HERE; OFF AND ON.........

WILL TILL NEXT TIME......... 

 THIS IS A TEST, HOW DO YOU LOVE BY COLLECTIVE SOUL..............



THANK YOU........LISA...........I HAVE MUSIC.........

I AM SO HAPPY.......I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG.
THE WHOLE CD: 

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.......LISA. YOU MADE MY DAY!!!!!!

TIGGER AND THE LITTLE MAN........

JUST A FEW PICTURES OF TIGGER AND MY LITTLE MAN.............

TIGGER IS GROWING............AND FOR SOME REASON.  HE REMINDS ME OF GARFIELD.............I COULD SEE HIM LOOKING AT ME, AND SAYING THOSE SMUG REMARKS.  I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT, BUT IF HE WAS 20 POUNDS HEAVIER HE WOULD LOOK LIKE HIM TOO.........

AS FOR MY LITTLE MAN, HE LOVES TIGGER.........AND THE TUBE, IT'S BIGGER THAN HIM........BUT HE WANTED TO PICK IT UP AND MOVE IT, MY STRONGE LITTLE MAN, HUH..........

WELL, THINGS HAVE BEEN ROLLING.........
I AM UPSET WITH MY HUSBAND.......STILL.  I HAVE NOT SEEN HIM OR TALK TO HIM SINCE THURSDAY.  TODAY HE DID HAVE DINNER PLANS WITH MY KIDS, EVEN THOUGH IT'S MY WEEKEND WITH THEM.  BUT I HAVE BEEN MORE UNDERSTANDING TOWARDS THIS SUBJECT.  I DON'T WANT MY KIDS TO FEEL LEFT OUT FROM THERE DAD.........
AND I WILL BE UNSELFISH FOR THEM.

BUT THINGS WITH MY HUSBAND AND I.........I HAVE LEARNED TO BE STRONG AND I WILL NOT BE TREATED UNKIND ANYMORE.............

WELL, TILL NEXT TIME.......... 

MY LITTLE MAN............

             

AFTER HIS BATH, MY BABY GIRL DECIDED TO DO HIS HAIR...........
ISN'T HE SO CUTE??????

ALSO, THIS PASS WEEKEND WAS THE TOWNS FESTIVAL.............
THEY HAD MANY KITES FLYING.......HERE ARE A FEW PICTURES.
MY SON IS STILL ASKING TO TAKE HIM TO SEE THE KITES.......HE SO LOVED IT.

TILL NEXT TIME........ 

MY LITTLE MAN............

             

AFTER HIS BATH, MY BABY GIRL DECIDED TO DO HIS HAIR...........
ISN'T HE SO CUTE??????

ALSO, THIS PASS WEEKEND WAS THE TOWNS FESTIVAL.............
THEY HAD MANY KITES FLYING.......HERE ARE A FEW PICTURES.
MY SON IS STILL ASKING TO TAKE HIM TO SEE THE KITES.......HE SO LOVED IT.

TILL NEXT TIME........ 

BAD DAY...........

I WAS SO FEELING GOOD LAST NIGHT.........

BUT I WOKE UP FROM A BAD DREAM, SCARY.........

I DREAMT OF MY HUSBAND COUSIN........OF HER FUNERAL.  I WAS SITTING AT THE CHURCH, AND SUDDENLY SHE ROSE AND CAME TO ME WITH HER ARMS OPENED.  PLEASE TO SEE ME THERE............I WOKED UP, FREAKED OUT.  I COULDN'T GO BACK TO SLEEP............

I HAD CALLED MY HUSBAND TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS..........
WE TALK ABOUT OTHER STUFF.........AND BY THE END OF OUR CONVERSATION.  HE WAS ONCE AGAIN, BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING...............HE KNOWS HOW TO PUSH MY BUTTONS.
BUT NOT THIS TIME..........
I SHOWED HIM HOW HE TURNED IT AROUND. HOW HE HAS THE PROBLEM........BUT THE DAMAGE WAS ONCE AGAIN DONE........

I KEEP GOING OVER, AND OVER - ON ALL THE MISTAKES I HAVE DONE.........HOW I WISH I COULD CHANGE THEM.  WHY WON'T HE BELEIVE MY WORDS.........
HE IS HURTING ME.......
HE IS NOT INNOCENT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP........HE HAS DONE THINGS TOO.
BUT...............
BECAUSE "I DO" LOVE HIM........I WAS WILLING TO WORK ON THIS RELATIONSHIP.............
BUT THIS MORNING..........IT SO HIT ME.
HE DOESN'T WANT TO WORK ON IT..........
DOES ANYONE HAVE A REMEDY FOR A HEARTBREAK??????

I CAN'T WRITE ANY MORE........BUT I HOPE A GOOD NITE SLEEP,  WILL HELP.......
BRINx......

SECOND SECTION...........

FROM THE BEST OF OPRAH'S  "WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE"

"OUR BELIEFS CAN MOVE US FORWARD IN LIFE - OR THEY CAN HOLD US BACK."

WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE, LOOK AT YOUR BELIEFS.  THEY PUT YOU THERE.

WHAT ( I )......KNEW INSIDE WAS THAT I COULD DO BETTER.

WHEN I KNOW BETTER, I TRY TO DO BETTER.

JUST AS OUR BELIEFS CAN MOVE US FORWARD, OUR UNCONSCIOUS - OR WHAT I CALL SHADOW - BELIEFS CAN HOLD US BACK.

NOT LONG AGO, I STARTED THINKING ABOUT WHY I STILL STRUGGLE WITH MY WEIGHT, AND A MEMORY FROM WHEN I WAS 14 HIT ME LIKE A BRICK.  I HAD JUST JUMPED OFF THE BATHROOM SCALE WHEN I BUMPED INTO MY FATHER IN THE HALLWAY. "GIRL, NO NEED IN YOU WEIGHTING YOURSELF," HE SAID, "YOU'RE A NICE SIZE NOW, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE A HEAVY GIRL. ALL YOUR PEOPLE ARE HEAVY.  LOOK AT YOUR MAMA, YOUR AUNT, YOUR GRANDMOTHER, ALL HER PEOPLE.  YOUR WHOLE FAMILY'S HEAVY. NO WAY AROUND IT."
FOR YEARS, MY FATHER'S UNWITTING COMMENT FOLLOWED ME, THROUGH ALL THE PAGEANTS AND CONTESTS I COMPETED IN AND WON, THROUGH EVERY DIET AND EXERCISE PROGRAM, AND EVEN THROUGH THE MARATHON.  IT WAS UNDERMINED ALL MY GREATEST EFFORTS.

I'M IN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO RELEASE THIS SHADOW BELIEF.  WHEN I FINALLY LET IT GO, I KNOW MY LIFELONG STRUGGLE WITH WEIGHT WILL BE OVER.
THAT, I BELIEVE!

              

I THINK WE HAVE MANY SHADOW BELIEFS..........MAJOR ONES AND MINOR ONES.  IMPORTANT AND NOT SO IMPORTANT........
WE HAVE MANY COMMENTS THAT SHAKE OUR BELIEFS, SOME THAT HIT US LIKE A TON OF BRICKS AND SOME THAT HIT US LIKE A BREEZES...........
COMMENTS FROM OUR HEROS, OUR ROLE MODELS,  THE ONE WE LOOK UP CAN UNDERMINED ALL OUR GREATEST EFFORTS...........

LOOKING AT MY BELIEFS..........I COULD SEE WHY I AM IN THIS SITUATIONS.  I DO BELEIVE I DESERVE BETTER........TO FEEL LOVED, APPRECIATED, BEAUTIFUL, WANTED, AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.........FOR ME.

I SO LAUGH BECAUSE I WAS TOLD I WOULD FIND MYSELF.  GOING THROUGH THE DIVORCE PROCESS..........AND THAT IS SO TRUE.
I REMEMBER WHAT I WANTED IN A HUSBAND.  HOW I RODE WITH THE FLOW........AFRAID TO BE REJECTED.  IT SOUNDS STRANGE, BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND MARRIED YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.  BUT I LOST MY SELF THROUGH THE YEARS. NOT REALLY KNOWING HOW TO BE A "WIFE"  OR "MOTHER".........SO TO SPEAK.  MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS TOO YOUNG.......MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE GOOD ROLE MODELS (PARENTS), NOT THAT I AM BLAMING THEM.  BUT OUR CHILDREN, MY CHILDREN ARE LEARNING BY US...................

AS I AM GOING THROUGH THIS...........SEPARATION, ABOUT TO BE DIVORCE.  I AM DEVELOPING NEW BELIEFS.  FOR I HOLD MY SHOULDERS AND MY DAUGHTERS AND SON SHOULDERS...........

            

I AM BETTER INSIDE..............

TILL NEXT TIME...... 

WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE.............

I RECEIVE MY OPRAH'S SUBSCRIPTION TODAY.........
WITH A LITTLE BOOK:
THE BEST OF OPRAH'S  WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE.  IT'S A COLLECTION OF "WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE" COLUMNS BY OPRAH, THE O OF O.

THE FIRST SECTION:

"HAPPINESS IS NEVER SOMETHING YOU GET FROM OTHER PEOPLE. THE HAPPINESS YOU FEEL IS IN DIRECT PROPORTION TO THE LOVE YOU GIVE."

WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY ARE LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS.  I ASK, "WHAT ARE YOU GIVING TO THE WORLD?"

SHE TALKS ABOUT A COUPLE WHO APPEARED ON HER SHOW:

THE WIFE COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAD BROKEN DOWN.  SHE KEPT SAYING, "HE USED TO MAKE ME SO HAPPY. HE DOESN'T MAKE ME HAPPY ANYMORE."  WHAT SHE COULDN'T SEE WAS THAT SHE WAS THE CAUSE OF HER OWN EFFECT.
IF YOU THINK SOMETHING IS MISSING IN YOUR LIFE OR YOU'RE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU DESERVE, REMEMBER THAT THERE'S NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD.
YOU LEAD LIFE; IT DOESN'T LEAD YOU.

IN The Color Purple, THE CHARACTER CELIE EXPLAINED IT TO MISTER: "EVERYTHING YOU TRY TO DO TO ME, ALREADY DONE TO YOU."


I WAS THAT WIFE. THE ONE OPRAH TALK TO ON HER SHOW.......
I SO FOOLISH..........I SO SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY,  NOW DAYS.  BUT I AM SO SORRY TO SAY THAT IT'S TO LATE FOR MY MIRRAGE.  TO SAVE IT..........BUT I HAVE TO MOVE ON.  I JUST HAVE TO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES.

I STILL HAVE TO LIVE MY LIFE..........
TILL NEXT TIME......... 

WEEKEND.......

I AM SORRY ABOUT MY LAST ENTRY, STILL TRYING TO UPLOAD MUSIC........

THIS WEEKEND WAS AN "O.K. WEEKEND"...............
MY BOTTOM IS SORE.........BUT IT WAS A GOOD BIKE RIDE.

THE KIDS WERE WITH MY HUSBAND ON SATURDAY, JUST LIKE WE HAD PLANNED.  AND I ENJOYED SOME TIME AWAY FROM THE KIDS..........I MISSED THEM AND WAS HAPPY TO SEE THEM ON SUNDAY MORNING.

       

MY HUSBAND CALLED ON SUNDAY, LATE AFTERNOON TO SEE HOW THE KIDS WERE DOING......BUT I THINK HE CALLS TO TALK TO ME. (OR THAT'S MY WISHFULL THINKING)..........
HE DID ASK IF HE COULD COME OVER TO SPEND SOME MORE TIME WITH THE LITTLE MAN. (BUT: "WISHFULLL THINKING" TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH ME, TOO.) WELL, MAYBE TO SPEND TIME AT HOME........

IN SOME WAYS, I DO THINK HE IS MISSING EVERYTHING.  BUT HE IS GETTING HIS APARTMENT READY TO BE CALLED HOME.........
I FEEL HIM SO FAR AWAY WHEN WE TALK, THOUGH.
HE WAS JOKIN' WITH ME ON SUNDAY, AND HE KEEPS REMINDING ME ON THINGS I NEED TO DO AROUND THE HOUSE...........I DID FINALLY TOLD HIM; "WHEN YOU WERE HERE, THESE THINGS WEREN'T BEING DONE?"  NOT IN A HARSH WAY, BUT IN A QUESTION WAY.............
SO HE SAID HE WOULD TAKE CARE OF THEM.........HE IS STILL DOING HONEYDOS........OR TRYING TOO....

I DO MISS HIM, BUT THE LOVING HUSBAND HE ONCE TREATED ME...........I STILL SEE THAT HE IS SO DISTANCE..........

WELL, TIME WILL TELL........ BRINx

SONG.........

this a test.........

COLLECTIVE SOUL.........

            

A QUOTE FROM DEAN ROLAND.........
Guitars FOR THE COLLECTIVE SOUL.

“When you recognize your vulnerabilities and weaknesses you become stronger and that’s when your character is defined. I think that’s where we are as a band.”

TILL NEXT TIME........ 

ENJOYMENTS AND REGRETS............

THE AFTERNOON WENT LIKE THIS............

CONT. FROM MY (LAST ENTRY); I WENT TO PURCHASE THE CD: COLLECTIVE SOUL, YOUTH STAR, AND TO TAKE CARE OF SOME ERRANDS. CAME BACK HOME. POPPED THE CD IN MY WALKMAN AND BROUGHT DOWN MY BIKE.........

YES, MY BIKE.........LAST TIME, I BROUGHT IT DOWN WAS.......MAYBE LAST YEAR, SUMMERTIME, MAYBE.  WELL, REGERTS........BECAUSE I FORGOT MY CAMERA.
I WENT TO OUR HIKE/BIKE TRAIL........WHICH, FROM MY HOUSE, IT'S ABOUT 8 MILE TRIP. TO AND FROM.  I THINK I AM GOING TO HAVE A SORE BOTTOM TOMORROW......EVEN WITH A GEL SEAT, HUH.

IT WAS BEAUTIFUL...........THE FLOWERS ARE BLOOMING AND THE BIRDS ARE FEEDING.  I EVEN SAW A PINK FLAMINGO ABOUT 5 FT AWAY FROM ME.......MY CAMERA........
BUT I THANKED GOD FOR THE BEAUTIFUL DAY.  SEEING THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD......IT'S OUT THERE.  WE JUST NEED TO GO OUT AND SEE.......
OH......IN A PASS ENTRY.  I POSTED THIS PICTURE OF A PLATFORM....... BUILD FROM TOP TO BOTTOM.
   
             

I HOPE YOU COULD SEE THAT PICTURE.......WELL, IT'S GONE.......
I MISSED IT.  I WANTED TO TRAVEL CLOSER AT NIGHTTIME, FOR MORE PICS....BUT ONCE AGAIN. I MISSED OUT.  THIS WAS A HUGGGGE PLATFORM.......

I AM BEATING MYSELF...........SOME MANY GOOD PICTURES, I COULD HAVE TAKEN.....

I ENJOYED THE CD, SO MUCH........
I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT LOVE SONG......
THE LINK IS ABOVE FOR THE WEBSITE.  YOU CAN HERE "HOW DO YOU LOVE?" ON THERE.
HERE ARE THE WORDS:


THERE ONCE WAS A LOVE   THROWN INTO YOUR ROOM
BUT YOU NEVER KNEW
A CALENDAR   OF DAYS JUST FOR YOU
BUT YOU NEVER KNEW, NEVER KNEW
AND THE TRUTH THAT YOU'LL FIND
WILL ALWAYS BE  THE TRUTH YOU HIDE

SO HOW DO YOU LOVE?
HOW DO YOU LOVE?
WHEN YOUR ANGEL'S CAN'T SING
AND YOUR WORLD IS STILL   LACKING OF ME

THERE ONCE WERE EYES    THAT ONLY SAW YOU
BUT YOU NEVER KNEW
A PORTRAIT OF   A FLOWER IN FULL BLOOM
BUT YOU NEVER KNEW,NEVER KNEW
AND THE WORDS THAT YOU FEAR
WILL ALWAYS BE   THE WORDS YOU HEAR

SO HOW DO YOU LOVE?
HOW DO YOU LOVE?
WHEN YOUR ANGEL CAN'T SING
AND YOUR WORLD IS STILL   LACKING OF ME

THE SPACE WHERE YOU'VE BEEN LIVING
HAS GIFTS YOU'VE NEVER GIVEN
THAT'S THE FACE   YOU ALWAYS SHOW
ASK ME FOR WORDS OF WISDOM
TELL ME OF YOUR CONDITION
'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T, I DON'T KNOW

AND THE TRUTH THAT YOU'LL FIND
WILL ALWAYS BE    THE TRUTH YOU HIDE

SO HOW DO YOU LOVE?
HOW DO YOU LOVE?
WHEN YOUR ANGEL'S CAN'T SING
AND YOUR WORLD IS STILL   LACKING OF ME

SO HOW DO YOU LOVE?
HOW DO YOU LOVE?
WHEN YOUR ANGEL'S CAN'T SING
AND YOUR WORLD IS STILL    LACKING OF ME

HOW DO YOU LOVE?
HOW DO YOU LOVE?
HOW DO YOU LOVE?
HOW DO YOU LOVE?.........


TILL NEXT TIME........... 

COLLECTIVE SOUL..........

I CAN'T GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD............

BETTER NOW BY COLLECTIVE SOUL. FROM ALBUM:

              YOUTH STAR

HERE IS THE LINK TO THEIR WEB SITE:
http://www.collectivesoul.com/default.asp?Loc=5

TRUST ME; YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SONG........
IT WILL GET YOU UP ON YOUR FEET AND START TO DANCE---OR MAYBE JUMP AROUND..........

ON THERE HOME PAGE, CLICK THE MEDIA/AUDIO PLAYER.  THEN CLICK ON THE TRACK LISTING FOR BETTER NOW.   I AM PLANNING TO BUY THE ALBUM.........I HEAR THAT THE WHOLE ALBUM IS GREAT.......... AND HEARING THE SONGS FROM THERE.  IT DOES...........

WELL, ENJOY..........TILL NEXT TIME......... 

HE SAID, SHE SAID.........

I HAD A HUGE ARGUMENT WITH MY HUSBAND........YES, IT HAS STARTED.........

THIS WEEKEND IS HIS WEEKEND WITH THE KIDS. I HAD EMAILED HIM ABOUT IT.  WELL, HE EMAILED ME THAT, HE HAS WORK OBLIGATIONS ON FRIDAY AND SUNDAY.......BUT HE WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR SATURDAY.
I EMAILED HIM WITH THE NOTE.........THIS IS YOUR WEEKEND......PICK THEM UP AT 6PM, FRIDAY.

WELL, HE CALLED ME ALL PISSED.......AND BOY, WAS HE.
HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO.  AND THAT HE HAD OBLIGATIONS THAT CAN NOT BE RESCHEDULE.  I WAS UPSET TOO......AND TOLD HIM, WHEN THAT HAPPENS TO ME. I HAVE TO FIND A BABYSITTER.  NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I GO THRU......WELL, HE REPEATED THAT HE WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR SAT........
I TOLD HIM IF HE WAS NOT THERE TO PICK THEM UP AT 6 PM ON FRIDAY. NOT TO PLAN TO SEE THEM, THIS  WEEKEND. HE TOLD ME, I WOULDN'T SEE ANY FINANCIAL SUPPORT. I SAID, THEM YOU WILL NOT SEE THEM AT ALL........ HE SAID, FINE B@#@#, I SEE YOU IN COURT......THEM HUNG UP.

LOOKING BACK, I AM SORRY FOR HOW I HANDLE IT........IN SOMEWAYS.  HE DOES NEED TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHEN HE HAS HIS CHILDREN.  AND I UNDERSTAND, HE DOES NEED TO WORK.  BUT HE WAS SO MEAN.........

AFTER EVERYTHING, I TOLD HIM; I WAS SORRY FOR HOW I ACTED, I COULD OF WORK SOME OTHER ARANGMENTS WITH HIM.....BUT IT DOES SHOW WHERE HIS KIDS STAND. WORK COMES BEFORE HIS KIDS.  AND SOMETIME IT UNAVOIDABLE, BUT THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME.......THAT'S WHY I ACTED THE WAY I DID......

PLUS, I RATHER HAVE MY KIDS WITH ME.......THAN BE ALONE. SO HE WILL SEE THE KIDS ON SATURDAY.........

AND I GUESS WILL SEE HOW THINGS WILL ROLL........

TILL NEXT TIME....... 

SISTERS..........

I RECEIVED THIS EMAIL TODAY.........

TO MY SISTERS IN THE LORD.....
There comes a time in every woman's life when she has to take a close look at herself. Not at her circumstance, not at what she did, not how unfair life is, or not at whom made you do it. She has to just look at herself in all her glory and imperfection. Have you ever admired a woman who has been through changes in her life? Or have you made up in your mind that she is just messed up. Before you make this mistake, take a closer look. A woman who has endured the most unusual life is someone of wisdom, someone who has been chosen by God to go through things that have made her stronger. Think of all the great women in the bible: Mary Magdalene, Ruth and Naomi, the woman with an issue of blood flow, and Esther, to name a few. Mary was a prostitute, a very uneasy woman. But by the time Jesus was done with her, she was His closest follower. Esther was unfortunate in marrying an abusive man, but by the time God was done with her, she had married one of the wealthiest men in the land. Women are so quick to beat the next one down instead of trying to hold her up. Before you wonder, "What's up with her?" ask yourself, "What's up with me?" That woman could be my mother, sister, aunt, mother-in-law, stepmother, niece, grandmother, great-grandmother, neighbor, friend, or co-worker, etc. That woman could be me. Women are the carriers of life, not the channels of death. Let's build and encourage each other, as did Ruth and Naomi. Pass this to all the women in your life. Encourage and Love, Forgive and Forget, and trust that the woman that receives this will be touched in some way. May peace and love be upon you.

WITH ALL THE SOUL SEARCHING I HAVE BEEN DOING.THIS EMAIL HIT THE SPOT.......I WOULD LOVE TO PASS THIS EVERYONE, WHO NEED ENCOURAGING.

Jem  : Finally Woken  : 'Just a Ride'  <--------CLICK TO LISTEN........

LISTEN AND READ THE WORDS TO THIS SONG......WILL POST AT THE END OF MY ENTRY.


"All of these years he was wanted me to be a wife and mother and wrap my life around them entirely.  Yeah, I could do that and I have done that.  But what about ME?" FROM (GINA'S JOURNAL)

I FEEL THE SAME WAY.....BUT THEM I WAS STRONG MINDED, TOO.  I WOULD THINK IT HAD TO BE DONE MY WAY OR IT WAS WRONG.........I WASN'T CONCERNED ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON FEELINGS OR THOUGHTS. THE MISTAKES I MADE...... BUT, I DID FEEL LIKE, ALL I AM IS A WIFE AND A MOTHER.........WHAT ABOUT ME????

I AM NOW REALIZING WHO I AM AND WHAT I WANT......HOW MY FAMILY IS FIRST. BUT I DO TAKE TIME FOR MYSELF........JUST LIKE MY FAMILY HAS THEIR OWN INTEREST. WE STILL HAVE OUR UPS AND DOWNS. SO FULL OF CHANGES.........

JUST LIKE THE SONG:
"EXCEPT THAT
THERE'S NO GETTING OFF
SO LIVE IT, JUST GOTTA GO WITH IT,
COZ THIS RIDE'S, NEVER GONNA STOP.

just a ride

(Inspired by Bill Hicks)

Life, it’s ever so strange
It’s so full of change
Think that you’ve worked it out
then BANG
Right out of the blue
Something happens to you
To throw you off course
and then you

Breakdown
Yeah you breakdown
Well don’t you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It’s just a ride, it’s just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It’ll take you round and round
Sometimes you’re up
sometimes you’re down
It’s just a ride, it’s just a ride
don’t be scared
don’t hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don’t forget it’s just a ride

Truth, we don’t wanna hear
It’s too much to take
Don’t like to feel out of control
So we make our plans
Ten times a day
And when they don’t go
our way we

Breakdown
Yeah we breakdown
Well don’t you breakdown
Listen to me
Because

It’s just a ride, it’s just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It’ll take you round and round
Sometimes you’re up
sometimes you’re down
It’s just a ride, it’s just a ride
don’t be scared
don’t hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don’t forget it’s just a ride

Slowly, oh so very slowly
except that
there’s no getting off
So live it, just gotta go with it
coz this ride’s, never gonna stop

Breakdown
Don’t you breakdown
No need to breakdown
No need at all
Because

It’s just a ride, it’s just a ride
no need to run, no need to hide
It’ll take you all around
Sometimes you’re up
sometimes you’re down
It’s just a ride, it’s just a ride
don’t be scared now
dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside
but don’t forget enjoy the ridet

TILL NEXT TIME......BRINx

CLICK.......

hey ya'll this is too cute!
They were together in the House. Just the two of them.
It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly
and  each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.
She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and
wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect  her from the storm.
She wanted that...more than anything.
Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...
He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.
He knew this was a forbidden union and
expected her to pull back.
He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
The storm raged on..as did their growing passion And
there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.They knew it was wrong...Their families would never understand... So consumed were
they in their passion that they heard no opening
of doors...just the faint click of a camera......  

 

 

 

 

 

 

  TILL NEXT TIME.......BRINx

WHAT IS UNACCEPTABLE........

                 

(GINA'S JOURNAL)  HAS BROUGHT UP SO MANY FEELINGS..........

I FEEL IN AWAY; SHE HAS LIVED MY LIFE.......
I MARRIED YOUNG, HAD MY FIRST CHILD AT 19, WAS A STAY AT HOME MOTHER.  I WAS BROUGHT UP IN A VERY CONTROLLING HOUSE. VERY PROTECTIVE......... I HAD A TRAGIC CHILDHOOD.  WHICH EXPLANS THE PERSON WHO I WAS..........I SAY THAT CAUSE I AM NOW FINDING MYSELF.

I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TO EVERYONE;

1ST =  MY HUSBAND, WHICH I DO LOVE SO MUCH..........I HAVE PUT HIM THROUGH SO MANY THINGS. AND AFTER 17 YEARS, HE'S BEEN RIGHT BE SIDE ME. BUT THESE PASS YEAR, IT BEEN DIFFERENT. IN SOMEWAYS I DON'T BLAME HIM. IN SOMEWAYS.........HE HAS FLAWS OF HIS OWN. 

2ND = MY GIRLS, THEY HAVE SEEN ALL OF IT, THE GOOD AND THE BAD.......BUT I THINK THE BAD STICK IN YOUR HEAD THE MOST.......THAT'S WHY I HAD PROBLEMS WITH MY OLDEST. SHE COULDN'T FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT SHE HAD BEEN THROUGH.

AND MY BIGGEST MISTAKE...........WAS ON ME.  NOT BELEIVING IN MYSELF.  I CAN, AND COULD DO SO MUCH MORE FOR MYSELF.............

             

LIKE GINA SAID, I RAN AWAY FROM MY PROBLEMS.......THROUGH OUT MY CHILDHOOD AND MY MARRIAGE.  I RAN THINKING IF I DIDN'T DEAL WITH THEM. THAT IT WOULDN'T  HURT...........SOMETIMES NOT WANTING TO TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY THAT IT WAS ME. I WAS THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM...........
MY ACTIONS, MY WORDS DID HURT SOMEONE........I DID NOT THINK BEFORE I REACTED. AND THAT CAUSE MANY PROBLEMS........

I HAVE BEEN FAITFULL TO MY HUSBAND..........THAT IS ONE MORAL VALUE I HOLD SO DEEPLY.  AND IT WAS OUT THERE.........BUT I DIDN'T.  I LOVE MY HUSBAND TO MUCH TO HURT HIM LIKE THAT...............BUT HE DID THINK, THAT I DID........

LOOKING BACK ON THIS YEAR..........WITH THE PROBLEM I AM HAVING.
I HAVE GROWN SO MUCH........I HAVE SELF-RESPECT FOR MYSELF.  I'M FINDING MY SELF-ESTEEM............I AM REALIZING MYSELF. 
IT'S SO SCARY, I SOMETIMES FIND IT SO LONELY..........



BUT I WILL DO THIS ONE DAY AT A TIME.  BELEIVE ME; IT ONE DAY TO THE NEXT........DEALING WITH IT DAY BY DAY.

TILL NEXT TIME.........

ROLLING,ROLLING.......

WELL.....THINGS ARE JUST ROLLING HERE.......

AT TIME I AM FINE AND TIME I AM HEARTBROKEN.
I TALKED TO MY HUSBAND ON SUNDAY EVENING.  HE IS STILL BLAMING EVERYTHING ON ME.  HE WILL NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS ACTIONS.  I HAVE PROBLEMS BUT TO ME IT SEEMS LIKE I AM THE ONLY ONE WORKING ON THIS RELATIONSHIP..............IT TAKES TWO. AND FOR HIM TO BLAME IT ALL ON ME. HE IS NOT WORKING ON THIS RELATIONSHIP..........
THIS WEEKEND.......HE CALLED TO ASK IF HE COULD SPEND SOMETIME WITH THE LITTLE MAN.  WHICH I DID.......BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GIRLS?  HE DIDN'T SPEND TIME WITH THEM........
I'VE NOTICE THAT HE WILL MAKE THE TIME FOR HIS SON, BUT WHEN HE WAS IN THE HOUSE. HE DIDN'T.......

NOW, ALSO.............MY OLDEST DECIDE TO STAY IN THE HOUSE WITH US.  MY HUSBAND, BEING CRUEL........HE SAID,
"CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WON HER OVER. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING."  HE COULDN'T BE HAPPY ABOUT OUR (MY DAUGHTER AND I )RELATIONSHIP.  WE ARE STARTING TO COMMUNICATE WELL AND NOT ARGUING. I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT............

MY BABY GIRL MADE THIS FOR ME..........

           

SHE HAS BEEN IN A CREATIVE MOOD......SHE WENT THRU MY CRAFT BOXES AND FOUND THESE PIPE CLEANER AND MADE ME A FLOWER.  IT SIT ON MY DESK...........SHE LOVES ME SO MUCH........SHE ALSO MADE A STRAND WITH BEADS FROM MY CRAFT BOX. SHE PLANS TO PUT THEM UP ON HER WALL AROUND HER MESSAGE BROAD IN HER ROOM. I TOLD HER SHE COULD ALSO MAKE THEM INTO A BRACELET. IT CAME OUT BEAUTIFUL, SHE HAS HER MAMA'S TALENT, LOL.............REALLY SHE DOES.........

AS FOR MY LITTLE MAN.............
I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT HE DID TO ME.........HE IS SO CUTE.
WELL, I WROTE ON FRIDAY THAT I HAD A LUNCH OUTING WITH MY FRIEND, SUSAN. WE WENT BACK TO THAT GOURMET COFFEE HOUSE & EATERY, THEN SAT ON THE BEACH. TO ENJOY READING AND THE SUN........
WELL, TOO MUCH SUN....................
I CAME BACK WITH SUN BURN, EVEN ON TOP OF MY FEET. IT HURTS............
WELL, THIS WEEKEND MY SON WAS HANGING ON MY SHOULDER. AND I OF COURSE WAS HURTING..........
WELL, HE TURNS TO ME AND ASK, BOBO..........AND I SAID, "YES." SO HE KISSES MY SHOULDER. AAAHHHH......... HE IS SO CUTE........
I HAVE THE LOVE OF MY CHILDREN..............THEY ARE WHAT KEEPS ME GOING, HUH...........
               

I HAVE POSTED SOME PICTURES OF THE DAY AT THE BEACH...........JUST CLICK AWAY AT THINGS.......HAVING FUN.

TILL NEXT TIME...........