Thursday, April 21, 2005

BAD DAY...........


I WAS SO FEELING GOOD LAST NIGHT.........

BUT I WOKE UP FROM A BAD DREAM, SCARY.........

I DREAMT OF MY HUSBAND COUSIN........OF HER FUNERAL.  I WAS SITTING AT THE CHURCH, AND SUDDENLY SHE ROSE AND CAME TO ME WITH HER ARMS OPENED.  PLEASE TO SEE ME THERE............I WOKED UP, FREAKED OUT.  I COULDN'T GO BACK TO SLEEP............

I HAD CALLED MY HUSBAND TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS..........
WE TALK ABOUT OTHER STUFF.........AND BY THE END OF OUR CONVERSATION.  HE WAS ONCE AGAIN, BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING...............HE KNOWS HOW TO PUSH MY BUTTONS.
BUT NOT THIS TIME..........
I SHOWED HIM HOW HE TURNED IT AROUND. HOW HE HAS THE PROBLEM........BUT THE DAMAGE WAS ONCE AGAIN DONE........

I KEEP GOING OVER, AND OVER - ON ALL THE MISTAKES I HAVE DONE.........HOW I WISH I COULD CHANGE THEM.  WHY WON'T HE BELEIVE MY WORDS.........
HE IS HURTING ME.......
HE IS NOT INNOCENT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP........HE HAS DONE THINGS TOO.
BUT...............
BECAUSE "I DO" LOVE HIM........I WAS WILLING TO WORK ON THIS RELATIONSHIP.............
BUT THIS MORNING..........IT SO HIT ME.
HE DOESN'T WANT TO WORK ON IT..........
DOES ANYONE HAVE A REMEDY FOR A HEARTBREAK??????

I CAN'T WRITE ANY MORE........BUT I HOPE A GOOD NITE SLEEP,  WILL HELP.......
BRINx......

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3 comments:

  1. AnonymousFriday, April 22, 2005 at 4:51:00 AM CDT

    Time is suppose to mend a broken heart....that's all I know. Just let time pass.
    Hope you got some good sleep.
    Ellen

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSunday, April 24, 2005 at 1:17:00 AM CDT

    I wish I had some good answers for you. What I can say, is don't live with regret, stand firm with what is important to you. It's a lesson I've been drilling into my life as much as I can lately. It's NOT easy, it's NOT painless, but in the end I know it will be for the better
    Rebecca

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousWednesday, April 27, 2005 at 6:46:00 AM CDT

    WHEN SOMEONE POINTS A FINGER THERE SRE THREE POINTING BACK AT THEMSELVES.
    IF I DID NOT HAVE MY JOURNAL MY PRAYERS OR CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD, I COULD NOT HAVE SURVIVED THE LOSS OF SOMEONE I LOVED
    DREAM: WE ARE EACH PERSON IN THE DREAM WHAT DOES THIS WOMAN SYMBOLIZE? CONCERN FOR OTHERS? HARDSHIP? SPONTANEITY?GRIEF? THERE IS ONE WORD THAT WOULD COME TO MIND
    WELL THAT PART OF YOU HAS DIED AND IS "GLAD YOU HAVE ENTERED" A MORE STILL STATE TO SEE WHY THAT PART OF YOU HAD TO LEAVE........COURTENAY

    ReplyDelete

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