SECOND SECTION...........

FROM THE BEST OF OPRAH'S  "WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE"

"OUR BELIEFS CAN MOVE US FORWARD IN LIFE - OR THEY CAN HOLD US BACK."

WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE, LOOK AT YOUR BELIEFS.  THEY PUT YOU THERE.

WHAT ( I )......KNEW INSIDE WAS THAT I COULD DO BETTER.

WHEN I KNOW BETTER, I TRY TO DO BETTER.

JUST AS OUR BELIEFS CAN MOVE US FORWARD, OUR UNCONSCIOUS - OR WHAT I CALL SHADOW - BELIEFS CAN HOLD US BACK.

NOT LONG AGO, I STARTED THINKING ABOUT WHY I STILL STRUGGLE WITH MY WEIGHT, AND A MEMORY FROM WHEN I WAS 14 HIT ME LIKE A BRICK.  I HAD JUST JUMPED OFF THE BATHROOM SCALE WHEN I BUMPED INTO MY FATHER IN THE HALLWAY. "GIRL, NO NEED IN YOU WEIGHTING YOURSELF," HE SAID, "YOU'RE A NICE SIZE NOW, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE A HEAVY GIRL. ALL YOUR PEOPLE ARE HEAVY.  LOOK AT YOUR MAMA, YOUR AUNT, YOUR GRANDMOTHER, ALL HER PEOPLE.  YOUR WHOLE FAMILY'S HEAVY. NO WAY AROUND IT."
FOR YEARS, MY FATHER'S UNWITTING COMMENT FOLLOWED ME, THROUGH ALL THE PAGEANTS AND CONTESTS I COMPETED IN AND WON, THROUGH EVERY DIET AND EXERCISE PROGRAM, AND EVEN THROUGH THE MARATHON.  IT WAS UNDERMINED ALL MY GREATEST EFFORTS.

I'M IN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO RELEASE THIS SHADOW BELIEF.  WHEN I FINALLY LET IT GO, I KNOW MY LIFELONG STRUGGLE WITH WEIGHT WILL BE OVER.
THAT, I BELIEVE!

              

I THINK WE HAVE MANY SHADOW BELIEFS..........MAJOR ONES AND MINOR ONES.  IMPORTANT AND NOT SO IMPORTANT........
WE HAVE MANY COMMENTS THAT SHAKE OUR BELIEFS, SOME THAT HIT US LIKE A TON OF BRICKS AND SOME THAT HIT US LIKE A BREEZES...........
COMMENTS FROM OUR HEROS, OUR ROLE MODELS,  THE ONE WE LOOK UP CAN UNDERMINED ALL OUR GREATEST EFFORTS...........

LOOKING AT MY BELIEFS..........I COULD SEE WHY I AM IN THIS SITUATIONS.  I DO BELEIVE I DESERVE BETTER........TO FEEL LOVED, APPRECIATED, BEAUTIFUL, WANTED, AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.........FOR ME.

I SO LAUGH BECAUSE I WAS TOLD I WOULD FIND MYSELF.  GOING THROUGH THE DIVORCE PROCESS..........AND THAT IS SO TRUE.
I REMEMBER WHAT I WANTED IN A HUSBAND.  HOW I RODE WITH THE FLOW........AFRAID TO BE REJECTED.  IT SOUNDS STRANGE, BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND MARRIED YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.  BUT I LOST MY SELF THROUGH THE YEARS. NOT REALLY KNOWING HOW TO BE A "WIFE"  OR "MOTHER".........SO TO SPEAK.  MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS TOO YOUNG.......MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE GOOD ROLE MODELS (PARENTS), NOT THAT I AM BLAMING THEM.  BUT OUR CHILDREN, MY CHILDREN ARE LEARNING BY US...................

AS I AM GOING THROUGH THIS...........SEPARATION, ABOUT TO BE DIVORCE.  I AM DEVELOPING NEW BELIEFS.  FOR I HOLD MY SHOULDERS AND MY DAUGHTERS AND SON SHOULDERS...........

            

I AM BETTER INSIDE..............

TILL NEXT TIME......