LAST NIGHT, ONE OF MY FRIENDS CALLED ME.......
SHE WANTED ME TO ENJOY HER. SHE WAS GOING TO GO TO A CLUB. AND I AM NOT A CLUB GOER...... BUT I NEEDED TO GET OUT. DIDN'T HAVE MONEY TO SPEND, BUT SHE SAID SHE WOULD PICK UP THE TAB. SO I JOIN HER. JUST FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS, I WAS BACK HOME BY 12:30 AM. EARLY FOR HER...... BUT I FELT SO GUILT BEING OUT THERE...... I KEPT THINK ABOUT "HIM." ONE OF HER GUY FRIEND MEET US AT THE CLUB. AND ONE OF HIS FRIEND WAS THERE AT THE CLUB. WHICH THEY INTRODUCE ME TO HIM.
THIS IS WHY I AM NOT READY FOR THIS........ I KEPT TALKING ABOUT "HIM." AND ABOUT MY KIDS. I JUST FELT SO UNCOMFORTABLE. I'M GLAD, WE DIDN'T STAY LONG.......
PLUS THIS SHOWS ME THAT I AM NOT READY TO MOVE ON. I SHOULD JUST CONCENTRATE ON WORK, MY KIDS, AND SOON - COLLEGE. I'M FEELING MORE HURT THAN LONILESS........ EVEN THOUGH I DREAM OF MY HUSBAND...... I WAKE WITH MY HEART POUNDING, AND BREATHLESS. I SURE DO MISS HIM........
I WISH I COULD HANDLE THIS BETTER....... BUT I COULD ONLY DO WHAT I CAN..........
EITHER WAY, LIFE IS GOING AND I AM ROLLING ON WITH IT.
TILL NEXT TIME......
Saturday, June 4, 2005
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Brin, dont be so hard on yourself... what your feeling is normal. But I am so glad you went out ! It's good for you. Just take it slow. You'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteEllen
Hey Brin, So you didn't have a good time, that's ok. Its still ok to go out w/ your friends every once in awhile. No your not ready, and I could understand you being uncomfortable having to deal w/ men right now. You have a lot going on right now, its ok to just concentrate on that. Keep your chin up. :)
ReplyDeleteDelaine
it's good for you to go out once in a while...and it's okay even if you dno't have a great time, at least you got out. hang in there...~ www.jerseygirljournal.com
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