I AM UPSET, ONCE AGAIN.......
BEFORE I GET INTO WHAT HAPPEN YESTERDAY. I WILL EXPLAIN SOMETHINGS.
MY HUSBAND'S MISTRESS IS MARRIED TOO......
SHE IS GETTING A DIVORCE AND SHE ACCUSED HER HUSBAND OF MOLESTING THERE 3 YEAR OLD CHILD.
LAST WEEKEND, MY HUSBAND WAS DROPPING OFF MY SON AND MENTION THAT HER HUSBAND WAS IN TOWN. TO BE CAREFUL...... I BELIEVE THAT IS WHY MY DAUGHTER MEET MY HUSBAND'S MISTRESS.
BECAUSE SHE FEARED TO BE ALONE. SO SHE WAS OVER AT MY HUSBAND'S APARTMENT. BUT MY DAUGHTER WAS THERE. AND I BELIEVE MY HUSBAND DIDN'T CARE ABOUT MY REQUESTED.
THE ONE THING I HAVE ASKED FROM MY HUSBAND. AND WROTE ABOUT IT, IN ONE OF MY ENTRY. WAS TO KEEP HER AWAY FROM THE KIDS TILL THE DIVORCE IS OVER.
BUT I DID EMAIL HIM A COUPLE DAYS AGO TOO. THAT I FEARED THE KIDS WERE IN DANGER WITH HIM, ESPECIAL AFTER LAST WEEKEND. IF SHE FEARS HER HUSBAND.....
THEN MABYE MY KIDS ARE IN DANGER WITH HIM.
BUT I DID TELL HIM THAT HE WOULD PROTECT HIS KIDS, BUT I STILL FEARED. THAT IF SHE WAS AROUND THEM. MAYBE THEY WERE IS IN DANGER.......
WELL, BEING THAT HE IS NOT SEEING THE KIDS IN THE WEEKDAYS. WE MADE ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE WEEKENDS.
THIS WAS MY WEEKENDS AND WE MADE PLANS FOR HIM TO BE WITH THE KIDS FROM NOON TO 2.
WELL, MY BABY GIRL CAME HOME AND THE CONVERSATION TURN TO WHAT THEY DID.
SHE TOLD ME THAT THEY WENT TO MY HUSBAND'S MISTRESS DAUGHTER BIRTHDAY PARTY.
OH MY.........
SO I WENT TO HIS PLACE AND TOLD HIM.....
THE ONE SIMPLE REQUEST I ASK AND YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT FOR ME.....
I LEFT THERE TELLING HIM THAT MAYBE I SHOULD RETHINK ABOUT THE VISITATION.....
MY BABY GIRL IS OLD ENOUGH TO DECIDE WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO. BUT I DO FEAR THE DANGER SHE WILL BE, BEING AROUND HER.....
MY SON IS TO LITTLE TO MAKE THAT DECISION. AND I CAN'T TRUST MY HUSBAND TO VISIT WITH MY KIDS ALONE (WITHOUT HER THERE)......
SO, WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK??????
TILL NEXT TIME......
Sunday, August 14, 2005
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Unfortunately you can REQUEST he not have her around the kids but you cant tell him who he can and cant socialize with when he has the kids (trust me, I've been there). As far as witholding visitation, be VERY certian you are doing WHATS BEST FOR THE KIDS not just something to punish him for not following your rules. Does the possible danger (that seems to be only a concern from time to time since her soon to be ex is only in town from time to time) outweigh the benifits of your children spending time with their father? I KNOW how hard this is, I have fought this fight myself. Just remember one day you will have to explain to your kids why you tried to keep them from having as full and loving a relationship with their father as possible. The bottom line is, no matter what an SOB he is as a husband he will always be their father and children draw their sense of self from both parents. If they are told dad is a lying, sneaking, cheating SOB they take some of that as the way ppl see them. Sory to go on and on, but I HAVE been where you are and I want to help.
ReplyDeleteJennifer
I'm not a Dr Phil groupie but I like some of the things he has to say in his book Family First and one is "Dont ask children to deal with adult problems" dont sound off to the girls, its between you and ex and even if you are just letting off steam, kids feel like they have to take sides and that puts a lot of stress and strain on them.
ReplyDeleteJennifer
Brin, I know exactly how you are feeling, as always.
ReplyDeletePlease know though, that your husband isn't going to let harm come to your children. As insensitive as he may be to you, with taking the kids around her, he's not going to let them be hurt.
I know it bothers and kills you, knowing they are around her. Kids are adaptable though, they will be ok. Its the pain and jealousy that we feel that affects our children. As hard as it may be NOT To ask what they did, thats the best way to deal with it, what you don't know, can't hurt you. And the kids will be fine. ( I totaly understand that you wouldn't want them near the other father also.) Delaine
p.s. love ya, hang in there
http://journals.aol.com/blueblueandblew/BluesLifeOrNot
Brin, I see you got some comments on women that were in your situation, and being that I never was, I'll leave the advice to them. I will say , however, to talk to your lawyer about your fears ( not sure if anyone else suggested that) but keep him in the loop with your fears. Hang in there .
ReplyDeleteEllen
I had a child that was close to me molested . . . I had NO control over the situation, but I just felt HORRIBLE. The worst thing is that that innocent child is not innocent anymore . . . and NEVER will be again. ONCE a child is molested, they're never the same.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that your husband isn't more careful about the children's safety.
You are right to ask that your children NOT be around this woman, at least until the divorce is final . . . whatever you have to do . . . if you have to change visitation, anything, to keep your babies safe!
Cyndy
Divorce is never pretty...Your concerns are valid...Do you have any sepreation agreement in writing...Sound like your husband doesnt have the kids best interest at heart...He is showing no respect for you or the kids...Sounds like he is only thinking of his needs...
ReplyDeleteif the mistress does get her husband in trouble well that does give you a leg to stand on concerning having the children around them...
I hope you have a lawyer....
Donna In TEXAS
http://journals.aol.com/Lacaza3/sweepingthecobwebsofmymind/