WELL........

THIS WEEKEND, MY HUSBAND TOLD ME THAT HE IS GOING TO PAY FOR THE CABLE AND INTERNET. HE WANT TO KEEP IT FOR MY BABY GIRL. WHICH I TOLD HIM.
YES, HER LIFESTYLE SHOULD STAY THE SAME.
BUT.........
I DID TELL HIM THIS.....
WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN AFTER THE DIVORCE. ARE YOU STILL GOING TO PAY FOR IT?  IF NOT, AND I AM NOT ABLE TO KEEP IT. THEN WE ARE BACK AGAIN TO WHERE WE WERE OR ARE........
HE COULDN'T ANSWER ME, BUT WE WILL SEE.......

ALSO, THE OTHER NIGHT, HE EMAILED ME. AND WE WERE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH THE EMAILS. BUT THE LAST EMAIL HE SENT ME. I READ INTO IT, THAT HE NEEDED TO TALK TO SOMEONE. SO I CALLED HIM......
I MADE IT CLEAR TO HIM THAT I WOULD BE THERE FOR HIM. BUT THERE WERE SOMETHINGS THAT I WOULD NOT TALK ABOUT.
SO, HE TALKED. HE TOLD ABOUT WORK AND OTHER STUFF. HE ALSO TOLD ME ABOUT MY OLDEST. SHE IS ACTING SO SELFISH.......
BUT I KNEW SHE COULD........
AND NOW, HE SEE WHAT I DEALT WITH. OR ATLEAST I HOPE HE SEES........
SHE COULD BE A HANDFUL.......
BUT IT WAS HARD TO TALK TO HIM. TO HEAR HIM. AFTER EVERYTHING. BUT WE WERE MARRIED FOR 17 YEARS.......
AND HE IS THE FATHER OF MY KIDS. SO, I NEED TO KEEP SOME KIND OF COMMUNICATIONS.  BUT IT IS HARD......
HE STILL DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE HAS PUT ME THROUGH.......
OR SEES THE NEW ME....... BECAUSE YES, I HAVE CHANGED. BUT IN SOMEWAYS I AM STILL ME......

WELL, I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP. I HAVE NOT BEEN SLEEPING WELL.

TILL NEXT TIME........
 

TRAPT

"Headstrong"

Circling your, circling your, circling your head,
Contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth, I got doubt
A different motive in your eyes and now I’m out
See you later
I see your fantasy, You want to make it a reality paved in gold
See inside, Inside of our heads (yeah)
Well now that’s over
I see your motives inside, decisions to hide

[Chorus:]
Back off I’ll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong
Headstrong we’re Headstrong
Back off I’ll take you on
Headstrong to take on anyone
I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong
I can’t give everything away
I won’t give everything away

[Verse 2:]
Conclusions manifest, your first impressions got to be your very best
I see you’re full of $#!T, and that’s alright
That’s how you play, I guess you’ll get through every night
Well now that’s over
I see your fantasy, you want to make it a reality paved in gold
See inside, inside of our heads (yeah) Well now that’s over
I see your motives inside, decisions to hide

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
I know, I know all about [x3]
I know, I know all about your motives inside, and your decision to hide

[Chorus]