IT'S ALMOST 5AM ON SATURDAY AND I CAN'T SLEEP.........

WHY DOES MY MIND WANT TO THINK AT THIS HOUR OF THE DAY.......
I HAVE A DREAM AND WAKE UP FROM IT. THEN MY MIND START TO THINK ABOUT THE DREAM AND THEN I AM AWAKE. UHHHHHH.......

AND SOMETIMES MY DREAMS ARE JUST DREAMS. I WAS DREAMING ABOUT SCHOOL. NOTHING SPECIFIC THAT I CAN REMEMBER. JUST IN SCHOOL WORKING ON A PAPER.
BUT THEN MY MIND START WONDER ABOUT THE DREAM. THEN I AM AWAKE. THEN MY MIND STARTS TO WONDER ABOUT OTHER THINGS.

THIS COMING FRIDAY WILL BE MY DIVORCE DATE.......
IT IS ALMOST HERE.......  TIME DOES FLY, WHEN YOUR HAVING FUN OR WHEN YOU ARE SAD........
I SAW MY HUSBAND YESTERDAY. THIS WEEKEND WOULD HAVE BEEN HIS WEEKEND WITH THE KIDS.  BUT HE MADE PLANS TO GO OUT OF TOWN. ONCE A YEAR, THEY HAVE A MINI VACATION FOR THE UPPER MANAGEMENT IN HIS WORK COMPANY. THEY GOING AND RENT THIS HOUSE BY THE BAY. AND GO FISHING.....  BUT THE FIRST NIGHT, THEY HAVE A FAMILY BBQ. THEN THE WIFE AND THE KIDS GO HOME AND THE MEN ARE LEFT TO FISH AND PLAY CARDS.........  LAST YEAR, THE COMPANY WAS TO BUSY TO MAKE THE PLANS BUT 2 YEARS AGO. I WAS THERE. WELL, LAST NIGHT, MY HUSBAND WAS PICKING UP THE FISHING GEAR AND JUST HAD VISITED WITH HIS SON. (MY BABY GIRL WAS ASLEEP, WHEN I CAME HOME FROM WORK AND PICKUP MY SON FROM DAYCARE. I TRYED TO WAKE HER SO SHE COULD SPENT SOMETIME WITH HER DAD. BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO.)
SO WE WERE IN THE GARAGE GETTING THE GEARS AND TALKING. WE TALK ABOUT MY OLDEST. SHE OPTED TO STAY WITH A FRIEND FOR THE WEEKEND INSTEAD OF HERE. WHICH HE TOLD ME THAT SHE HAS BEEN IN MOOD. HE SAID THAT SHE MUST BE PMSING BECAUSE IT HAPPENS ONCE A MONTH, THIS ATTITUDE......  BUT WE TALKED AND TALKED. THEN I ASKED HIM....... WELL, THE MISTRESS BE GOING TO THE FAMILY BBQ...... HE UHM.... AND YES....  OH MY, THE DIVORCE IS NEXT WEEK BUT YET HE IS BEING WITH HER IN FRONT OF HIS CO-WORKERS. SO DISRESPECTFULL...... BUT THAT WHAT I GET FROM HIM..... THAT IS WHAT HE IS SHOWING TO HIS WORK.  REMEMBER THAT THEY WORK TOGETHER..... SO, THEY ARE LIKE THIS AT WORK.....
I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED TO DATE. AND I WILL NOT TILL THE DIVORCE IS FINAL BUT YOU KNOW. IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME, DATING......  THAT IS A WHOLE OTHER ENTRY I COULD WRITE ABOUT....... MAYBE ONE DAY, I WILL. WHEN I AM IN THAT BOAT......

MY SON IS STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THAT DAD LIVES AT THE APARTMENT AND WE LIVE AT HOME.
SO.......THIS COMING WEEKEND WHEN DAD HAS THE KIDS. WE ARE GOING TO TEST OUR SON.  HE WILL BE SLEEPING AT THE APARTMENT WITH DAD ON FRIDAY NIGHT. IF HE DOES WELL, THEN HE WILL SLEEP ON SATURDAY NIGHT TOO......
BEING THAT HE UNDERSTAND THAT DAD LIVES IN THE APARTMENT AND MOM IS AT HOME. MAYBE HE'LL UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN HE SLEEPS AT DAD'S THAT MOM WILL STILL BE AT HOME WHEN HE COMES HOME. HE WAS BEING CONFESSED BY THE NIGHTS...... DIDN'T  KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN, "WHERE IS MOM?" THING.......
BUT NOW THAT I THINK HE KNOWS THAT DAD LIVES AT THE APARTMENT AND MOM AT HOME. MAYBE HE WILL UNDERSTAND THAT EVEN IF HE SLEEPS AT DAD'S APARTMENT. MOM WILL BE AT HOME WAITING TILL HE COMES BACK.......  WILL SEE??????

WILL I AM GOING TO TRY TO GO BACK TO SLEEP......
IT 5:30 AM.... STILL COULD GET SOME SHUT EYE......

TILL NEXT TIME........