Sorry about that last entry. I am having problems adding an entry to my journal. THANK YOU, JEN...... I have to use other browser to add this entry. I wrote this entry on Wednesday.........
I was watching this movie with my baby girl last night. It has me thinking and feeling.
My husband left me for someone better, that He did not want me anymore and wanted someone better.
SO I ASSUME....... but that is how it makes me feel. I started to go back and listen to the voicemail from our last arguments; which he accuses me on what I did wrong. I will not get into details because I am ashamed, but what he brought up happened 7 to 10 years ago. I know that I had many problems in the pass. My childhood, teenage years and the beginning of our marriage, I handle things so wrong. Like I have said, "I was closed-minded." So I tried to look at more recent time. We had our son. We wanted our son, and we had issue about the bills and house, etc.. The usual things. We even did some remodeling on the house. I remember trying to juggle between naps, so I could staining the doors and taking care of our son. We did a lot of things together during the remodeling...... But I believe that we were fine. What I really believe is that my husband wanted an out to our marriage. He was not happy, and He made excuses. He handle this the wrong way. Yes, We had problem but to blame it all on me. Is a coward. I did not deserve this. The pass does not give him the right to treat me this way......... If anything, I still try to the end. But I was treated the way I was.......
It sad because in the end; I really gave my heart. But I was scary too, and I have a broke heart for it........ Is that not life...... Yes, it is the hurt, the pain, the sadness, etc........but it is also the happy, the love, the joy, etc...... And life moves on......... Brenda.............
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Brin, dont let the blame fall on you. He chose to be with some else while still married to you. That is wrong. He should have came to you and said he was unhappy, maybe that would have been a better way for it to end. I dont know, what's done is done. and you have to live your life and be happy.
ReplyDeleteEllen
My ex use to always make me think I was crazywhwen I knew he was messing around I was always the crazy one. But it was him. He did not leave you for a better woman he just left you for 'ANOTHER" not really better. you are better as in better off without him.
ReplyDeleteIt takes two to make a marriage work, and it takes two to let one fail. If you know in your heart that you did all you could to work it out, then not another ounce woule have made the difference. YOU own up to your mistakes, failures, because we all have them. HE hasn't and probably never will. It is much easier to blame you. My ex did that too. I finally said to him, "you and I KNOW what happened, and that is all that matters. You can talk about me, spread rumors about me, but WE know". The people who knew me, didn't judge me, and those who judged me, didn't really know me. Hang in there, you will be fine, of that I am convinced. Take care...
ReplyDeletexoxo ~Myra