Well it went bad.................

My oldest came over last night. I called her and told her to come over for pizza. Plus my baby girl and my oldest were going to the same high school play. So, They could go together. She came over and was being very quite and cold. She did not say anything just eat and sat there. Well, they token off to the play and by 10:15. My baby girl is knocking on the door. My oldest just left. My baby girl said she was going to this 'place.'  She did not even respect me to even asked; she just left. So, I called her on her cell and I told her that she should have come down from the car and told me. I asked her to be back in 30 minutes. Well, the minutes went by and still no sight of her. So, I drove to this 'place.' She had some friends in the back seat with the doors open. She was sitting in the drive seat with the door open. She come over and I ask her if she was coming home. She tells me that she did not want to stay at the house and was going to her friends house. Now, Dad is gone out of town (the reason he could not be with the kids), he token his girlfriend and her kids with him. She is in my care, and now she wants to go. So I call the ex, so she could tell him. They talk and off I went.
My ex and I talk some more, but we are on different terms when it comes to our kids.
But what it comes down to him is: He would rather be with the girlfriend and her kids than with his own kids.
I did check on my oldest and instead of being at her friends house. She went back to the dad's apt. I knock on the door so I could talk to her, but she would not open the door. Who she had in there is other question I have? Maybe that is why she did not want to open the door.

Anyway, she is still so angry with me. I did try to talk to her on the phone and I listen to what she had to say. But she has a lot of things wrong. She is closed-minded right now. So, Trying to talk to her will not work. She a teenager......

I told my ex, to stop trying to fix this. He has talks with her and she is closed-minded. She believes in what she thinks is right and will not reason with anything or see what I have to say in anything that she has a problem with me. The wall is so big.......
I been there; I have done that......
So I know what she is going through.
So I ask my ex to stay out of it........
Because it will not change, The wall is too big..........
She is so angry with me...... and all the talks will not help.

She does not understand, and I know because I once was there.....
My family thinks we have a curse on us because we see the cycle that has happen. I did it to my mother and my mother did it to my grandmother. It not that I do not love my mother, but my childhood was bad. So, that did not help.........
Where I went wrong was when I was closed-minded. I shut out most of the world and I only depended on my ex. Boy was I wrong.......
It went so bad with him and I try still because of my kids.
Why do I even give a damn..........

I am off to bed.....