The last day of 2006...............

What a year!!!!

It started off with putting my house for sale, and being sold.  Moving out in February to Corpus, while attending school.  After that things were O.K. till David called CPS and had DJ taken away for 30 days.  The hardest thing to go through, being away from my baby boy.  Then lost job my job, finishing Fall semester and finding work.  Then things turned around.  I found a job and it looks like I found someone who likes ME......

But the year is coming to an end and here comes 2007.

I hope that it brings laughter, happiness and love to everyone...........  HOPE, PEACE AND JOY!

 

Yesterday after my entry............

I get a call from Sabrina.  She asked if I had plans for the evening.  I told her the plans I had with John.  She asked who was going to sit with DJ.  I told her my brother Tommy and SIL Flor.  She asked if she could come over and sit with DJ and spent the night with at my place.  I told yes, I would love her too.  So she came over.  We also had time to sit and watch a DVD before I went out.  I rented this movie, "The Sister."  I like that movie, and she did too.  So we spent some time together before I left for my date.

My date last night was good.  We went to see the fight, UFC - Liddell vs. Ortiz.  It was good.  When he was younger, he fought and he wants to train to get back into it.  Oh no.....   But I enjoyed the fight.  I looked hot last night.  I wore my white blouse that shows my cleavage, showing some assets with blue skirt and my cowboy boots and blue jeans jacket.  I could tell that he was nerves, but yet confident.  Let just say that I could tell that I was turning heads everywhere I went.  I am not trying to be cocky, but I have eyes and it felt good, especially getting John's attention.

The fight was over around 11:30, and we head to the dance hall to meet up with my friend.  We danced and danced.  Then my friend left us.  I call her to find out where she was and they thought we had left.  Then John got a call about his daughter's dogs which he is sitting with them, so we had to leave.  I was home at 1 a.m., but he walked me to my door and gave me a kiss good night.  He is a gentleman.  He did call me last night to tell me the dogs were O.K., and he would call me tomorrow.  I really think this is the one, but he lives so far away. Dang......

He told me last night that I was going to be upset with him.  I asked him why.  You see I told him about David sitting with DJ for New Year's Eve night, and I would be free to plan anything with him.  He did tell me that he did not know what he was going to do, so last night he said that plans were made and I would be upset with him.  His daughter and boyfriend are about to leave for a ski trip on 1st of Jan.  They are going to Austin, and he wants to spent it there with her before she leaves.  I was upset, but I did tell him that I would have to find somewhere else to spent New Year's Eve and left it like that.  Well, later during the fight, he asked again if I was upset.  By that time, I had gotten over it.  It is his daughter and we are just in the beginning of things, so I understand that he would want to be with his daughter.  And I told him those words.  I even told him that I did not want to keep him from his kids.  I did tell him I was upset in the beginning, but I understand.  I did tell him that I was making plans for myself.  I even called Kristy. She is going to Austin with her husband, but this morning I am thinking differently.  They are going to have fireworks Downtown, and I think DJ would enjoy that, as well as I would.  I know John will be in Austin too, but he will be with his daughter.  I want to be with my kids.  I am going to ask them.

So I hope everyone has a Safe and Happy New Year.....

Till next year, hahaha.......

 

Things are really good.........  Can't believe it, it is finally happening.

Work is going well.  I am learning the ropes and yesterday, he had me do some research online.  I love that.  I have been dressing up.  I only wish that I was a little slimmer, but I am working on that.  Yesterday was Friday Casual day, so I wore my dark blue jeans skirt with a lite blue collar t-shirt with my blue jeans jacket and my cowboy boots.  Yes, I am a cowgirl....... LOL....  But everywhere I go, everyone compliments about my cowboy boots.

DJ is doing good.  He is enjoying headstart and doing well.  As for the girls, they have been busy with friends, plus Brenda Lee found work, finally.  That will keep her busy, and she has talk to me about paying back the money I loan her.  That's good....  I need it.  Sabrina had a bad sinus infection and did not come over this week.  Well, both the girl have not come over much, but they are teenagers and rather be with friends.  So I am going on with my life.....

Which.....

My life is a complicated......  Why do I do the things I do?  Oh well....   I only live once and I am living it.

I am not skinny, but not fat.  I fact my friends and family have told me that I have lost weight.  Well, I don't know because I lost my scale.  I mean it is broken, really and not by me. Hahaha......

AnyWay, I have notice I have been turning heads.  Well, George is young.  Which I did break up with him, but he does not want too.  He keeps calling me and telling me, "NO I am not letting you go."  But I tell him that he can't give me what I need.  That is over.

I did meet a guy that lives here in the same apartment complex.  He lives with his brother and is about to get divorce, so we have something in common.  He works for the cable company which I know, and he starting to play again in a band. I love music......  The first night I meet him was the night I broke up with George.  I was up at 3 am, and he was playing his guitar.  He saw me and asked if I would like to come in and chat with him.  I think he has been looking at me and knew this was an opportunity to get to know each other, plus he had been drinking.  You take more chance when you are a little tipsy.  Joseph and I talked till 5:30 am.  Oh I forgot that I was starting work the next morning at 8:30, so I told him that I need to get some rest.  I went to my apartment, but I told him my apartment number and to stop by whenever.  Well, 6:15 I get a knock on my door.  Yet it was him, but I told him that I need to get some rest.  To come back in the evening and we would have dinner.  He didn come back and also the next day, but he didn't make any moves.  Maybe because he is still dealing with his soon to be ex-wife. But we still say hi to each other, and I want to catch his band.  He will be playing this New Year's Eve at this club.

But.......

I have meet John.......  Let me tell you about John.

We are so much alike.  I meet him at a dance hall on Christmas Eve, and we danced all night.  I could not believe that they were open on Christmas Eve night.  I was going to stay home and do nothing, but I am so glad that I went out.  I saw him and told my friend that I wanted to dance with him.  She told me to go and ask him.  I looked at her and wonder.  She then told me, "I dare you too."  Well, that did it.  I walk up to him and asked him, the rest is history.  We left the dance hall to go to his daughter's Karaoke hang out.  He wanted to sing, and I wanted to hear him.  Well, he made his move at that time.  He is good......   Oh, I forgot to tell you all that he was dressed up.  His cowboy hat and jeans and boots.  He looked so hot....  He looked at me and came close to me.  He tilt his head and paused next to my lips.  I had to make the move if I wanted that kiss.  Well, I did.  It was so good......  It was so soft and passionate.  I melted in his hands.  My friend was freaking out.  I was making out with John in front of my friend. LOL.....

I can't believe I did that......  But it was good.....

Oh, John is from Houston, so I can't see him everyday, but we have been talking everyday.  Some night for 3 hours long.  We have good conversations.  He is blowing me away, which means----  I am falling for him.  He did call me Wednesday and told me that his daughter call him and asked him who he was making out with on Friday night.  He told her that he was not making out with anyone on Friday night, but Sunday night was a different story. LOL.... That is the kind of relationship he has with his daughter.  Oh, his daughter is 20 years old and his son is 26 years old.  He is 46 years old and divorce for 5 years.  He was married for 22 years.  Just some info......

So I told him..... "What the hell were we thinking.  That is your daughter's hang out and there we were making out in her place.  Yea, she would hear about that."  He did not care.  He said that he asked him how old I was.  He joked with him and told her that I was 22.  She was mad, then he told her that I was 37.  She calmed down then.  Apparently, when he hangs around with her daughter there.  He gets hit on by 22 year old, and his daughter does not like it.

He is down for the New Year's weekend.  And we are going to watch some Pay-per-view fight at his daughter's work place/club, then we are going dancing.

And David has called and asked if I wanted.  I could leave DJ with him for the New Year's Eve night, so I could make plans to go out.  He does not know about John, unless Sabrina told him about John.  I spent Thursday evening with Sabrina shopping.  She finally called me and asked to go shopping, so we went.  We talked and talked about things.  She is glad to finally feeling better.  I am too.  I miss her.  I wish that she would come over and spent the night.  Maybe one of this day.

So......  I think things are going to be good with John.  We have been talking everydaysince we meet.

So time will tell.......

Till next time.....

GOOD NEWS, GOOD NEWS.........

I got the job.  The one that I wanted.  I got the call Monday afternoon, and I started working the next day.  I love it.  I have my own office and direct phone line with a view.  Check out the pictures.  This building was the building I use to work last year with the Internet company.  So I am glad, I have my view once again.......

I am so happy.  It feels nice to feel like I am something.  I am work for something.  The first day at work was the company Christmas Luncheon, and they invited me.  Debbie, the other girl I work with is so sweet.  She brought me a Christmas present and gave it to me at the Luncheon.  She must of heard on Monday that I would start work on Tuesday, so she went out of her way to buy my Christmas present Monday Evening.  She is sweet, huh.

I am making goodie to take tomorrow to work for my boss, Debbie and Ruth.  Ruth works next door with the Judge, but she is an attorney.  She is sweet too.  I am so happy that I am having this opportunity.  Today I stay late for work.  I did not leave the office till 7 p.m.  All day my boss and Debbie were working on a Brief that need to be overnight to Austin, a total of 18 Briefs.  So I help out, it was so cool.....  I am start to get some experience with the legal field.  Love it.......  I am so happy Daniella.  It is final happening.

I am so tried.  I was out last night till 1:30 am.  I don't know what I am thinking, because I have to be at work at 8:30 a.m.  But I had a nice time.

So off to bed.....

Till next time......

 

The trip went well.....

We have a great time.  We didn't talk much about anything, but we enjoyed the tour and dinner together.  We channel surf the radio; I don't have a CD player in my '94 Toyota Camry. So we flipped thru stations.......  Interesting.....

We didn't argued, so it was a good trip.  But Brenda Lee is now think about UTSA, San Antonio.  She is going to look up about tour for Spring, so we could go and visit.

Well, I am off again to Austin today with my friend, Kristy.  Now, she can party, so tonight will be a great time.  I need it after everything that has happen this fall. Starting with DJ being taken away from me, to David getting married to the ending of the semester.  Which I made 3 A's, 1 B and 1 C.  Not bad, UH.........

So it is time for some fun, before I start working during my break.

Well, need to go.

Till next time.......

 

 

Ok, Road Trip Today..........

A while back, I set up this campus tour for University of Texas (UT), Hooken' Horns, so I could take my girls to see the campus.  Well, they want to go.  So this morning we will be traveling from Corpus Christi to Austin, about 3 hour drive.  Some good time to talk about things, I hope. But some time together if it is good or bad or weird.

I have been still looking for work, another thing that I was stressing about besides school.  But I did get a little time to send my resume around to some that I have heard.  Well, Yesterday I heard from 2 jobs, and waiting to hear from another one.  Two are with attorneys and one with a home health office to help with the phones basically.  So I would love to work with an attorney to get some experience.  I heard from Attorney Flores yesterday that I could start on Tuesday, from his assistant.  I know her, she graduated last spring from the college I am attending.  The only thing is that I have not heard how much he is going to pay for this position.  But I am weighting all my options.  You see I am hopefully with the other attorney; the interview went well.  Plus I love what he is going to pay.  Attorney Flores deals with Health Care Law, Bussiness Law, Elder Law, and General Civil and Criminal Litigatioin.  The another attorney deals with Civil Trial and Appeals; Construction Law; Collections; Commercial Litigation; Business Transactions; Corporate Law; Real Estate; Landlord and Tenant Law; Consumer Law.  So I have choices, but I still have to hear from the second attorney.

The good thing about it is that one of them has called me.  I was so happy yesterday.  It felt so good.........

Well, I need to get ready.

Till next time........

My favorite Christmas song.  Enjoy.........

It has been since Thanksgiving since I wrote an entry.

I have been so busy.  School is almost over.  I have 1 more final online and than I am done.  I know that I passed my english class; Yeepie Kai-ae.......

I meet a new guy; this one is young.  He is something, but I know that there is no future just good times.  I guess I am o.k. with that right now.

 

I am not in the Christmas Mood; in fact, I am skipping christmas this year.  Just call me, Mrs. Krank.  Sabrina did come over Friday.  DJ and Sabrina put up her small christmas tree.  I believe I have a picture from last christmas of my son and her putting it up.  DJ will be with David this Christmas, also Brenda Lee.  Sabrina does want to be with me this Christmas.  Will see if that happens.  I am feeling low about this, I hate this time of year now.  I remember out last Christmas as a family all together.  It snowed in South Texas, our miracle.  It was a miracle, not to much happiness because I knew what the coming year was going to bring.  And the tough time keeps rolling on.  When will it get better?

I have not been in good mood.  Maybe it was school or I just need a good break......

Till next time...

 

TODAY IS MY OLDEST DAUGHTER BIRTHDAY.......

 

SHE IS 18 YEARS OLD.......

 

Happy 18th Birthday Brenda Lee.

THIS WAS TAKEN AT PARENTS NIGHT FOOTBALL GAME.

My hair is so short.... but I love this picture.

Till next time.....

 

Ok.... I have been avoid this but it is time.  I want to tell you about what happen last Friday; the good and the bad..........

Now, the bad first, so the good will come last.

 

Last Friday night was the last football game for my girls, plus it was going to be Parents Night.  The band introduces their Senior Members and Parents.  Well, guess what happen.  My ex's new wife stands on the field with us.  I was so pissed; I told him she did not belong there, but he disagreed said that she washes her clothing and cooks for her.  She is her step-mother, and she was going to be there.  I did not want to argue, so I let it be.  Oh, they made this wooden pins for the mothers to have to wear that night.  My friend who had a senior band daughter told me about the pins and for me to go and get mine before the step-mother did because they only had one.  I got mine on after awhile I wonder how they were going to announce us.  So I went to ask the lady who was handling the pins about this.  She told me that she did not know that the paperwork was already in the booth.  She looked at me and told me she was sorry.  Then she said that she saw that my ex had her there.  Remember that not everyone has heard that they are married; at that time it was not even a week that they were married.  So she is looking at me like she feels for me.  Then she tells me that Katy went and asked for her pin.  The lady had to tell her that there was only one pin.  She should had told her that is was for the MOTHER OF THE DAUGHTER not the step-mother.  Oh, I forgot to tell you all what else she did.  I was stand by the gate to hand off DJ to my ex because it was his weekend with him, and we made arrangements for him to pick him up before the game.  When they walked in; Katy was carry roses.  I was so pissed.  When I argued with my ex earlier; he did not mention anything about this, so I felt like I was the mean mom.  She had roses to present to her, and I had nothing.  Oh I wanted to run.......  I felt so little and like everyone was looking at me.  I think they were; most of the people that were there know me and about the ex.  So I feel like we are drama of the town for the moment.  My friend told me to breathe and just smile.  I did.....

When they call Brenda Lee's name.  They announce:  Brenda Lee with her father David Del Moral and Katy Del Moral and her mother Brenda Del Moral.  I thanked Brenda Lee the next day because she was the one who filled out the paperwork, and she had them announce us that way.  So when we were stand on the sidelines waiting.  Katy was complaining that her arms hurt because of carry the roses, so the ex took them.  And once Brenda Lee was walking down to stand next to us by the sidelines.  Dad was handing her the roses, so it look like dad with giving her the roses.  Plus they gave Brenda Lee one rose to give away, and she gave it to me, but I did reach for it.  I did not want her to give it to Katy; I would have lost it for sure if that happened.  We took picture also, and I was so upset that Katy was going to be in the picture.  Well, when the photographer asked for out money order.  I hand mine, and the ex told the photographer to take Brenda Lee and me together, so I moved to Brenda Lee's other side so my pin could be in the picture; plus I was showing off in front of Katy that I had the pin, and she did not. HEHEHE........  But then my ex hands his money order and gets Brenda Lee to be in the middle of Katy and him.  When all was over.  I had told my ex that I was leaving and that he needed to follow me to my car to get DJ's bag for the weekend.  So he was walking with me, but........

Now for the good part.......

I was walking and saw my friends.  I would stop and say hello, then walk and stop to say hello.  This happen 2 or 3 times while David was walking with me.  We were almost to the gate entrance, so he waited for me there.  Well, this guy who had been looking at me when I was on the sidelines came up to me and said hello.

GUY: Hello, my name is Ruben. (shaking hands)

ME: Hi, I am Brenda.  Do I know you.

RUBEN: No, but I wanted to tell you that you are a beautiful lady.

ME: (smiling, then I look over to where David is standing then look back at him)  Oh, thank you.  (I giggle)

RUBEN:  Are you leaving?

ME: Yes, I am meeting up with some friends.

RUBEN:  Well, let me give you my phone number, so you can call me later.

ME:  Let me give you my number, you call me when you are available.

I have made a rule for myself; if they are interested in me.  They could call me.  So I gave him my phone number.

OK.....  I HAVE TO SAY THIS.....

FOOTBALL TICKETS:  $6.00
FOOD AT THE GAME: $10.00
GETTING HIT ON IN FRONT OF YOUR EX-HUSBAND: PRICELESS.........  LOL.........

My cousin and I came up with that one and laughed our ass off............

Anyway, Ruben did text message me that night, but I was already with someone.  I know......  I told him to call me on Saturday, and he did.  The other guy did not workout, so I am see how things workout with Ruben.

Well, that is all for now......

Oh, in one week on Thanksgiving Day.  My Brenda Lee will be 18........  I can not believe that.......  I remember when I was 18.

Till next time.......

 

Some good news and bad news...........

First the bad news, I always want the bad news, so I have good news after it.

I was let go from my job.  Yep, she did not need my assistance anymore.  I hope I could find another job that will work around my school hours.  Please say a prayer for me.  I have been looking.  I went to the school; they have a job bank for students, and I went to a temp agent and apply again. So please say a prayer that I find one soon.

The good news; I meet someone yesterday.  He is 10 years old than me, but he is very nice, and we do have a lot of things in common.  So will see how things go.

Where did I leave off on my last entry; OH Yea.

Brenda Lee.....   Well, she called me back to apologize, but I tried to talk to her and get her to talk to me, but she was still holding back.  I told her how I want so much for her.  How I am here for her.  She does not understand.  Yes, Daniella, she is a teenager, but I was hoping that she would start growing up and realize things for herself.  I ended our conversation about the plans for the Thanksgiving Holiday.  I should have the kids, but after we talked.  I get a phone call from Sabrina.  She start say that Brenda Lee told her about my plans for the holiday.  Oh, quick note: Brenda Lee's 18th Birthday will be on Thanksgiving Day this year.  And the ex and I have talked about what times we were going to share for Brenda Lee's birthday.  He was going to have the morning, and I was going to have them for the afternoon and evening, plus the holiday days.  So Sabrina tells me that they have plans already for Thursday.  They wanted to spend the morning with me and afternoon with their friends and evening with dad.  She said that my ex told them; they could choice on what they wanted to do for the holidays.  I was so upset and told her that that is not right.  This holiday is mine, and she reminds me again that their dad told them they could do what they want.  I told her that the divorce decree is set, so we could share the time equal between our kids and that this holiday was mine.  But if you choice to spend it with your friends instead of your mother then go ahead.  I was so upset and hung up on her.  I am so tried of this treatment I am getting from my girls.  I called my ex and asked him if he said that.  He said that he told them that they could choice to go with me on the weekend like we agreed but not the holidays.  He said that is the first time he heard about their plans, so he said he was going to talk to them.  Well, he did and he called back saying that they are so upset with me, and they are not going to change their plans and left it.  I told him I was done.  Things for me are going to change between my girls and me.  I will not be giving them money, and if they wanted to see me.  They better get with me in advance because I am going with my plans and not change things around for them.  I told him that what is so sad about this is that Katy (New Step-Mom) gets more respect than I do.  And he agreed; can you believe that.  But I told him that was changing for me.  I am so tried of this treatment. 

Anyway, I hope things change around here.  I need a job, and I meet someone new.  I did my education plan, and if everything goes as plan, I will graduate in Spring 2008.  WooHoo......  I am halfway there.  I could see the light in the tunnel.  I just need to find another job that will work around my school hours, so I could finish.  Oh God, I hope I do.

Till next time.....

 

 

"He Is Your Brother"

I was a fighter always looking for trouble
And my life was so empty, there was nothing left to live for
But then it happened one night as I got into a fight
I could hear someone saying as though he was praying
Ah-a-ah-a-a-a-ah-ah

Treat him well, he is your brother
You might need his help some day
We depend on one another
Love him, that's the only way
On the road (on the road) that we're going
We all need (we all need) words of comfort and compassion
Treat him well, he is your brother
Love him, that's the only way

I was a woman never thinking of others
And my life was so lonely, didn't care for anybody
But then I happened to meet a begging man in the street
As I turned down his praying I heard someone saying
Ah-a-ah-a-a-a-ah-ah

Treat him well, he is your brother (brother)
You might need his help one day (he's your brother)
We depend on one another (brother)
Love him, that's the only way
On the road (on the road) that we're going (that we're going)
We all need (we all need) words of comfort and compassion
Treat him well, he is your brother (brother)
Love him, that's the only way.

Treat him well, he is your brother (brother)
You might need his help one day (he's your brother)
We depend on one another (brother)
Love him, that's the only way

[repeat and fade]

I have some news.............

My ex got married to her this weekend.  Which I do not care, well maybe just a little because I wonder if he has found the true love.  I have been wonder about if true love does really exist?  He said that they need to get married before he claim bankruptcy.  Which I do not understand, but I did not want to hear the details.  I know that if I wanted to stay married to him.  All I had to do was during our marriage claim bankruptcy, and we would not be able to get divorce.  So why get married before claiming bankruptsy, so he would not be able to get divorce from him?  I wonder if that was her doing?   Who cares, I don't she could have him, and she does now.......  LOL.....

But he told me other things that I am so upset with Brenda Lee.  He told me that this lady came to their house and accused Brenda Lee of egging her house because Brenda Lee's car was seem at the house.  Well, my ex call Brenda Lee home and questioned her about it, then they (ex, Brenda Lee and Katy) went to this lady's house to talk to her.  Well, he said that he had to hold Katy back because she was getting out of hand to defend Brenda Lee.

Well, I am upset because Brenda Lee called me Sunday morning that she needed to talk to me.  She came over and asked for money; about $200, for shirt that they were collecting to do this huge shirt day for school.  So I gave her the money plus I paid other $90 to register her for her ACT and SAT because dad could not pay for it since he is going bankruptsy.

Then I told that this is all happening, and Brenda Lee does not tell me.  I called her and told her that I was upset with her.  Here she could come and ask me for $300, but she can not talk to me about what is happen in her life.  My ex told me that Andrea and Brenda Lee are somewhat back together.  I hate that my girls are treating me this way.  I can't believe that they are treating this way; am I so bad that they have shut me out, but when they need money where do they go to.

It hurts me so much........

Till next time.....

 

OK.....

Here is how my hair looks when I straighten it.

I have gotten so many, so many compliments on this style.

What do you all think!

~BRIN

I am doing so much better today; I do have a sniff neck, but I will see the doctor today for a follow up.

I have been going though so much, and I need to talk about this.

My ex is showing up with his fiance at DJ soccer game, and last night she came up to my apartment when my ex was dropping off DJ.  I know I show up at their houses to drop off stuff for my kids, but she does not have to show up at my place, right?  I have been trying to work at this because I know that DJ sense how I feel when she is a his game.  I think that is why this pass Saturday he did not want to play soccer.  I walk up and she is put DJ's right soccer shoe while my ex is put on his left.  I saw DJ and I get in the middle to try to give him a hug and kiss and say good morning.  I felt like push her away from him; I know he must it felt that.  But it is how I feel.  I just hate that she is there with my kids with my ex.  Not that I want my ex back; I will not want him after everything he put me though. 

Should I talk to my ex and tell him that she needs to stay away from events for now?  I know that she is going to be the step-mother, but I am having so much trouble accepting that right now.  Did I tell yall that she is doing this part-time business from home, and she had the Portland Chamber of Commerce do a ribbon cutting. Well, they put a picture of the ribbon cutting in the paper.  Remember this is my old town with all my friends; she put down that her staff include her children and her "step-children" my kids names were there, and her fiance with his name on there.  I was so pissed that she would call my kids step-children when they are not even married yet.  They are my kids, but I calmed down once I realized that she in a sense is already there step-children.  They all live together, except DJ.  Plus the way I see it; she looks bad in how she worded this.  Now, my friends know my kids name, as for who does not and they read that article.  They are going to see that she has her own kids plus step-kids and she is getting married a third time.  That is how it reads, so she makes her self look bad; and in the picture she came out with her eyes closes, so she looks bad in everyway.......  I hate her, hate her.......

I know I can't be friend with her, maybe later, and I am glad that she is not being mean to my kids.  The girls say that it is her kids that they have a problem with, not with her.  So she is not being mean to them, but I can't be her friend, so why did my ex bring her up to my apartment last night.  I know that DJ senses so much of me, and I try to hide it for his sake.  Last night, after all this, I was watching Grey's Anatomy.  I started crying during the part of Patrick Dempsey's was kick out Kate Walsh because he found out about her affair.  And she was crying and crying.  I am still crying......  How could he have done this to me.  And them he has her around so much.  I know I am the adult here, and I can get pass this and she is going to be the step-mother and she is nice to my kids but I hate her.  I hate him.  I tryed to wipe my tear so DJ would not see that I was crying, but he saw.  He came up to me and told that he loves me and daddy.  He knows.....  I can't hide this from him, and I need to get over this.  She is going to be around, and she seems to be nice, but I know that could be a play because of the 2 other events she had with me; one that I pulled her at Wal-mart and the second one was that I went to court to help her ex's.  She made up story and I will not forget them, my ex might, but I won't.

I know I am a strong lady, and I have not done anything wrong, but I still hurt.  I know I will move on.  That is all I could do.  I shouldn't talk to my ex about trying to not have her around so much because she is going to be around.  Sucks.......

Now to change the subject.......

I cut my hair.  How does it look.  I notice that I go back to my shoulder length look, but I do miss my long hair.  I just have so much hair that it gets to much, but now this length it puffs out with all this hair.

I also add some picture of Bocktoberfest.  On October 14th, I went to Shiner for this big huge concert; Godsmack, Blue October, Pat Green, Restless Heart, Diamond Rio, Old 97's and lost immigrants played. It was bad ass......  I had so much fun.  All these picture were taken with my camera phone.  Nice, huh....

Well, I have to go and get ready.  I have a test today, so wish me luck.

Till next time.......

 

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE, YOU ARE SO SWEET.......

I am feeling better.  The doctor said that I had fluid in my right ear.  She gave me meds.  I still feel weak, but the dizzy spell have gone.  Brenda Lee did stay over last night, which I see how much I miss her.  She went to the store for me too.  She was a big help for me.  But she did stay up till midnight last night, which I did not mind that is a teenager for you.  And I do miss it a little.

I do need to get back to getting catch up with school work.

But THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE WELL WISHES.........

I love you all too......

till next time....

 

OH MY........

I have been so sick........

It started on Monday evening.  I had dizzy spells then they got worse.  I was able to take DJ to school, and I came home and feel asleep.  I slept all morning and could not get out of bed after that.  The room was spinning so fast that if I was up.  I was throwing up, so I called the ex to pick up DJ from school and bring him home, but he should have gone home with David.  For dinner, which the ex stop by Krispy Kreme and bought donuts.  So DJ eat that then he wanted ice cream then had his juice then asked for a croissant.  Last night after I put DJ to bed, I remember some bad memories.  When I had my hystermony.  I felt like this, the dizzy spell and throwing up, and my ex not taking care of me.  I hate for that, plus I found out that that is when the affair started during that time.  What a jerk....

Anyway, I am heading to see the doctor.  My friend Melinda is picking me up and Brenda Lee will picking me up after.  Brenda Lee came over late last night to be with me; that was so sweet of her. David told the girl that I was not feeling good and Brenda Lee wanted to come over and be with me.  She will be here tonight also.  I so happy she is here.

Till next time......

 

I have not been wanting to write.  I have writer's block.

But I know that I just do not want to face things, and I feel like I will not have time to face things right now.  I have to much on my plate right now.  I am living day by day.  Finshing homework; one day at a time and try to get ahead, but it does not seem to work right now, getting ahead, so I will take it day by day.

I work an essay that was due on Monday.  My teacher gave it back to me to write it over.  She said I did not understand the assignment, but I talk to her about how I am feeling and not able to write for some reason.

The rough draft is due tomorrow, and I will be working on it tonight.

 

Well, I had so much fun at the concert.  I can not believe I saw Blue October, Diamond Rio, Pat Green, and so forth.....  But I am so glad that I did.......

It was so much fun........  I will try to post some picture I took with my cell phone; they did not allow cameras in the concert.  So the picture on the cell phone were not that great, but I have some.  I feel like I was at Woodstock.  So many people and it was raining off and on.  There was a pond beside the concert where they had campers.  Rolando joked about jumping into the pond and going naked like Woodstock.  Yep, they had a campsite next to the concert park; they were able to get there and camp the night before the concert.  Note:  the night before the concert was October 13, 2006, Friday the 13th.   And there was a cemetery next to the park; I wonder if any spooky happened......

Well, till next time.....

 

I am so sleepy..............

and my fingers hurt.  I was up till 1 a.m. typing my projects for work processing class.  The divorce decree turn to 51 pages, and I believe I was at page 35.  By the time, I was on page 50.  My fingers were hurting bad, and I mean bad.  Type the decree remind me that next month will be a year.  Time does fly by when your having fun....  or the bad.  Either way, life goes on.......

I will be going out of town this weekend.  There is going to be a huge concert at Shiner, Texas.  Godsmack, Blue October, Diamond Rio, Pat Green and a few more are going to be playing.  Oh my, I can't wait.........

I am trying to get into my school work.  For some reason, I am having a hard trouble getting into my essays.  I have notice that I am not write much here.  I think I need to slow down and think about things but not making the time for it or avoid it.  I know that is true; I could feel it.  But I am ok; I am going through something.  I went out Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  Friday night, I meet the biker, and he has not called me; oh well, I was not really into him.  But on Sunday, I did meet Nat.  One problem, well not really a problem, but he is 26 years old.  He thought I was 24.  They tell me that I do not look my age.  Well, I am going to use, and I like the young ones for some reason.  The reason why I am getting to this story is because I meet him at the dance hall.  And before I was talking to him.  I saw one of my ex's friend.  I said hello to him, and he went on with his date.  Well, I had to drag Nat to the dance floor to dance some hip-hop.  He said that he really does not dance that, but he dance with me. After the dance he told me that I owe him 4 kiss because he dance with me.  I told him that he did say that before we dance, plus the night is not over.  We see how the night goes.

We talked and talked, he told me that he like all kinds of movies and ask me when we could go and watch one together.  He asked for this coming weekend.  I told him that I had my son this weekend, but I was planning to go out of town to Shiner for this concert.  Oh I forgot to tell you that he is studying to be a deputy.  He tells me that he is going to be working at the concert; security.  When he told me that I looked at him and tell him.  So how come you are trying to make plans with me, yet you are going to be working at the concert.  He told me that the concert is voluntary work; $250.00 and that he was going to cancel that so he could go out with me.  I was so touched that I gave him a kiss....... and told him that was so sweet of him.

I have not heard from him, but he did tell me that he works shift work; 18 hours plus he goes to school at night.  I can't remember if he said that he was going to be off this weekend.  I believe he is since he is planning to work at the concert.

I did tell him that I really wanted to go to this concert.  He did tell me that he was going to call me to find out if I was or not.  I guess time will tell, and I do believe that he is working all this week, but he should have made some time to call me by now; don't you all think.

OH WELL, if he does not, not my loss........

Life goes on.......

Till next time......

 

OH MY WHAT A SMALL WORLD WE LIVE IN.......... LOL.

Last night I saw a friend of friend of mine.  I meet her a month or so when I was with Susan J.  We went to this party at this bar that my boss was giving and her friend Tracy was there.

Well, last night I thought I saw her and asked the lady if she was Tracy; friend of Susan J.  She looked at me then she realized who I was.  We talked and talked, but I am getting ahead of myself.  Let me back up.....

Last weekend I went out (that it starting to sound like I am become a partygirl, hehehe).  But I was out at Whiskey Rivers.  I meet this cowboy; did I mention that on an entry before.  Oh well, he asked me to dance, and we danced.  After the dance which we danced 2 songs back to back, we talked.  He told me it was his birthday, and I did not believe him; a common line I've heard before.  So he pulled out his driver license.  Yes, it was his birthday, but I notice his year; 1975.  He looked older for his age.  But we talked and talked then my friend Holly came over to me, and we started to talk.  Well, I was not trying to ignore him, but he went and asked another lady to dance.  I told Holly; WTF.  So when he was dancing with her, and they danced two songs back to back.  Then a favorite song of mine came on, I told Holly I wanted to dance.  She hints to me that I should go and cut in.  I turned to her and look at her like should I.  She tells me; yes, go and cut in.  I had a couple of drinks and was feeling sassy.  So I walked on that dance floor and asked to cut in.  The girl turns to the guy and tells him it is up to you.  He looks at her and then me; then he is just looks at me with his jaw open like he did not know what to do.  I tell him; that's alright and walked off the dance floor.  Yep....  I was turn down.........

Well, last night when I saw Tracy.  Guess who she was with.......

She was with the same girl that was dancing with this guy.....

And you see;  the weekend of the regretted dance.  I thought I saw Tracy, but I did not get to check it out.  Come to find out, she was there that night.  In fact, before I said hello to Tracy.  They were talking about the girl who tried to cut in.  We laughed and laughed about it.

I ended up hang out with them.  It was nice.  We danced with each other and went barhopping.......

I guess I am becoming a partygirl.........  hehehe.......

The good thing is that we are laughing about it.

What a weekend.

Well I have to go.....

Till next time.....

 

On Wednesday night did any one watch "Dancing with the Star."

They had the Los Lonely Boys.  I can't believe that a few weeks ago; I was standing next to them and now they are on TV.........

I still remember that concert.....

It rocked......

I was out last night......

And I meet a biker and rode on his bike.  LOL......
But I had a great time.....  Drank a little to much, but I was good.

Well, I need to go....

I will try to write more later....

 

Trying to hold on to the positive.  I could feel it.  I know I could be a good person.  My anger is in control.  I don't lose it like I use to in the pass.  And the hurt is what I have trouble with.

I know that with time it will get better because it is about to be one year since the divorce.  And I see where I am now; compare to where I was a year ago. 

How this year has been to me.  And I am still going..........

I know that is how I need to live my life now, and it should be for everyone.

Learning what makes you happy, smile, laugh; makes you feel alive......

It does not have to be someone else, but it does sometimes.
It does not have to be what you work in, but it does sometimes.

It has to do with yourself......

And you know what........

Sometimes it has to do with the sad, the hurt, the anger, the broken heart........

But you know what........

It makes you feel.......  and that is life, huh...........

Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride...... (I believe that is how it is sung).

 

"...We are power beyond measure."  Strong words........

 

Some enlighting words..........

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are power beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"

Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us. Its in everyone, and, as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

-Nelson Mandela

 

I have been very busy, and DJ is doing much better.  I need to write more what is going on soon.  I hope everyone is doing well.

Till next time.....

 

It was a long night................

Yesterday while I was driving DJ to headstart.  He threw up.  He has a bad cough with congestion and was choking on it and threw up.  So, I cancel my classes and didn't go to work.  He did not throw up anymore that day and was not running a fever.  Last night, I had the girls over.  I was doing their hair.  On Sabrina, I did French braids.  Not sure that I told you that she needs them done every Thursday, so she could put them under her helmet for marching band.  As for Brenda Lee, I put braids all over her head.  Today there high school GP plays Calallen.  And it is tradition to wear braids all over their head.  So for 2 hours I braided her hair.  Ran out of bands, so I had to go to the store at 9:15 during 6 Degrees.  When I came back they said that DJ was complaining about his ear.

Yep, ear ache.  He was crying and crying.  I had to call the doctor and at 11:30.  I was picking up ear drops for him.  He slept in my bed and at 4 a.m.  I was adding more drops to his ears.

The doctor office finally called and I will be leaving in a few minutes to the doctor.  So another day of no school or work.  Plus the ex will have DJ this weekend.......

Well, have to go....

Till next time......

 

FROM THE BEGINNING............

I started this journal to get me organized.  I was going to make list of things that I need to complete.  I read today that I should tell someone, so they could remind me plus have it posted for me to see that I have to get it done.

With so much homework and procrastinating, I need all the pushing.  So here goes:

In English: my teacher had surgery and handed us our assignment for the next two weeks and excepting a sub.  She is having us do 2 essay.   Rough draft for 1 is due on Monday.  Need to check when the rough draft for the second essay is due.  Will get back to you about that.

In Algebra(online):  My Test will be next Wednesday, need to go over some sample problems.  I did my quiz yesterday, not good; made a 66.7, so I need to make a good grade on my test.......

In Interview and Investigation class: Projects 2, 3 and 4 will be due on Oct 9th.  Will meet with Holly on Sunday to start working on the projects.  Hopefully start and finish them.  If not we still have next weekend to meet up and finish.

In Legal Word Processing:  I have 10 projects to type up, dealing with Family Law.  One project has a divorce decree with 36 pages to type.  OH God, Please help me.......

I believe that is for the next 2 weeks.......

Oh, along with my chores and DJ's practice and games.  No games this weekend, but then he will be with dad.
Oh Well......  Please Keep Me On Track.......

Till next time......

   

WHY DID I NOT TAKE THE OTHER ROAD.............

Yep, I am regretting.  I see the road I should have taken.  I see what I should have said, but why.  I am not handling things the way I should, but I am second guessing if I did this or did that.  Would the outcome be different.....

What's done is done......  and I can't change it; just learn from it.  Plus my friend has come to understand what I went through; not to say that I did not hurt him.

He needed me and at the most important time of his life.  I did apologize and was there for him; after everything.  I am so ashame of what I put myself in and my friend.  I have been going through so much.  I think I hit rock bottom; or part of it.  I still feel so lost.......

I have my son back and that it the part that is keeping me together.  I love him so much.......  Plus I know I am still finding myself.  Pray that I don't get so lost......

Till next time......

 

I have been so down........

I hurt a close friend of mine; not intentionally.  But I know I hurt him, and I have been apologizing.  I feel so bad......

I also put myself in a situation that I never thought I would be in.  I am still trying to deal with it.  I am scared, but I think it is going to be O.K.  I've learned a strong lesson. 

 

I added some pictures of DJ's soccer game on Saturday.  He did so awesome.....  compare to last week.  He did not want to play; he stood on the side line for his first soccer game.  But Saturday, he did so awesome that he got the hustle award.  The coach is give one out to every game they have, and DJ starting out in the soccer game and kick and running and blocking; yes, he blocked some balls.  He just did so awesome.......  I was so proud of him.  He likes soccer.  But of course; his reward from me was to go to Krispy Kreme Donuts.  He loves them........

I have video from my camera of DJ's soccer game.  He is kicking the ball into play.  He is so cute...... I wrote to Lisa Jo for the instruction on how to add video to my journal, so I could share it with everyone here.  But if anyone else knows how to add; please email me.  I would love to share this......

Till next time......

 

It is here; finally..........

The picture of Melinda and I with the Los Lonely Boys.

I had another great weekend; still trying to catch up with my sleep and homework.

So here I go........

Till next time....

I am so happy my son is back home...............

Last night I took that picture of him sleeping.

He is my angel.........

He is about to start Soccer; he will have his first practice tomorrow and his first game on Saturday.  I hope he enjoys it.

He is so adorable.......

Till next time......

 

First................

DJ is back home..........

The happy dance........  He is back in his own bed.  I am so happy, but confused. 

About everything; I have been so emotional.  I don't know how to put it into words.  There is so much going on in my heart.  The pain, the anger, the sadness just to start with, but I realize something that I can't believe that I am going to admit to it here. 

I still want my ex's approval.  When I have done something to make him upset.  I would apolgize and try to make it right.  This issue with DJ has been a big deal for me; that is why I wrote the letter.  Which he turned it around, but I know he did that because he knows how to get to me.

 

 

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Till next time..........