Is it true or is it not.........

I found out yesterday that Brenda Lee admitted to my Ex that she is gay.

I still say and told my Ex that she is exploring herself.
But he said that he read that she is the one making the moves. She told him that she is attracted to this girl; she has not felt like that for anyone else.  Nothing happen with Megan (Weldon's daughter).  My Ex said that in her letters, she has made plans to go to UT in Austin with this girl and that they are going to get an apartment together, work and go to college.  So they are making plans.

So has she explored enough to know if she is or not, that is my question.

I had a dream last night that has me wonder.  I went to bed last night at 11 pm and woke up to this dream at 12:30 am.  I dream that Brenda Lee grab my car keys and drove my car up a stadium seating.  She went over the top and landed in the parking lot below.  I ran around to check on her.  She was coming out of the car with her face bloody.  I stood there think, this is her mess and she will have to deal with it.  The motherly instant did not come out.  I think it is my way of accepting her that she is growing up and becoming an adult.  This is her life and she needs to live it.  Strange, huh........

I have heard that there are a lot of girls coming out that they are gay.  So this might be the in thing that is happening in high school. That is why I say that she is exploring.  I heard also that the girls are kissing and touching each other in the hallway between classes.  I want to call the high school, but I know if you tell high school kids not to do that; they just want to do it just because we do not want them to do it.  Does that makes sense, I mean how I explain it, but also too that kids think that way.....
KIDS....

Sabrina has know about this....  I have been worry about my baby girl. She has a lot going on for her.  Not to say that Brenda Lee or DJ are not.  But She closes up.  And her know about this and dealing with everything else.  Breaks my heart for her. I know she is coming of age and she dealing with her issues.  I just wish that she would open up to someone.  I did hear from my Ex that she was laughing with Katy (his girlfriend).  I was jealous but deep down I was happy that she was laughing.  Maybe she will open up to her.  Maybe she could get her to open up.  I still worry about Katy intention only because I heard about her from her Ex about how she is.  But I know that is her Ex and he would have not had good things to say about her.  Plus I have had a talk with her. 
Back in October, I confronted her because I wanted her to stay away from my kids when my ex had them.  There was a threat that (now) her ex was going to shoot her, and I was worry about my kids.  I confronted her because my ex would not keep the kids away from Katy, and I thought that if I asked her.  She would understand being that she is a mother too....  No, she said she would do what my ex wish her to do.....  I saw that she did not care about what happen to my kids because she told me that if she was shot and my ex was there; he would be shot too....  (her words); I told her that is what I mean.....  I worry about my kids being there to see or be hurt too that was my concern.  She then said that she would do what every my ex would want her to do.....  That showed me that she did not care about my kids.....

But since then I do see that she did talk to Brenda Lee when she ran away.  She was there for her.....   But I still do not know much about her, and I really can not do much....
My ex is the one who wishes for her to be around our kids. I am glad my girls are older, but I worry about DJ.

Why I worry......
My ex's girlfriend kids are 9 and 4.  The reason why she divorce her ex (plus the affair) is that her 4 year old, back when she was 3, said that her dad was touching her in her private place.  She will be 5 in August, so that was almost 2 years ago. During the separation, the kids had visitation with the grandparents.  Well, during that time, the 9 year old said that her grandpa was touching her.

Well, the father has supervised visitation and if that goes well.  He will have regular visitation.  So the court did not believe or somewhat did not believe that this was happening.  Plus I think that she might have talked to her kids to say that, so she would have custody of the kids.  I also got court records transcript of the custody hearing this was during the separation.  She was accused of slapping her kids and leaving marks on them.  She defend herself that she put her hand over their face.  It was questionable....  It let me wondering... Plus the transcript had other things.  Like the way she fought with her ex was questionable.  I was able to see a side of her that makes me wonder.  I made a copy for my ex to read and that was my present when are divorce was granted..... 
So he read it and he would know about her.... 
I know that she is an issue for me....
I am trying to work on that.....  and I am. 
The way I see it; she has my ex... LOL......  She does not know what she is getting into.......

But I am worried about my kids......  and now she will be living with them. I am hoping that she will love my kids, and that she will treat them as she would treat her own.  If she is a good mother.....  I wonder.

Only time will tell..... I say that a lot.
But what else can I do.  I am just glad that my girls are older and can watch out for themselves.  It is DJ that I worry about, and stay on top of with my ex.  I still tell him that I do not want her to be alone with him, but I know that he will not care for my wishes.  As time has shown......

I am glad that DJ speaks so well, and I make time to talk to him.  I am hoping that he will always be open to talk to me about everything.....
And now that DJ will be in therapy, my and I will get advice oh how to handle things.....  or so I hope.

Till next time.......