I received this email from JEN.  Thank You.........

I have been doing some soul searching, and these words mean so much..........

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

A set of screwdrivers,
a cordless drill, and
a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

One friend who
Always makes her
Laugh...
And one
Who lets her cry...

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

A good piece of furniture
not previously owned by
Anyone else in her family...

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

Eight matching plates,
Wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal that will
Make her guests feel honored.

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

 

A feeling of control over Her destiny...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

How to fall in love Without losing herself...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

HOW TO QUIT A JOB

 

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER

 

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

When to try harder... and

 

WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

That she can't change
The length of her calves,
The width of her hips, or
The nature of her parents...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

That her childhood
May not have been Perfect...

but; Its over...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

What she would and Wouldn't
Do for love or more...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

How to live alone...
even if She doesn't like it...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

Whom she can trust, Whom she can't,
And why she shouldn't Take it personally...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

Where to go..
Be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
Or a charming inn in the woods...
When her soul needs soothing...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

 

What she can and can't accomplish
In a day...
A month...
And a year...

SEND THIS TO 3 WOMEN.... you will have good luck for an entire day.
.
SEND THIS TO 6 WOMEN.... you will have good luck for all of the year.

But, if nothing else... know that you are truly loved and thought of by the friend who sent

This to you...and that she only wishes the best for you and your life

 

Till next time........

First, I am glad to hear that Lisa Jo is getting better..................  THANK GOD.....
I was worry about you........
Can't wait for you to come back.

Thank You, Ellen, for keep me inform about Lisa Jo.
And I am still praying for her.


Last night, my girls came over with my ex.  Yesterday was weekday visitation for DJ, and when my ex brought DJ back home.  My girls were with him.  I have a feeling that he had something to do with that.  Which I have to say 'Thank You,' but I did get to talk to them.  He stepped away, so we could have sometime to talk, and I did asked the girls if they were going to visit this weekend.  It worked; they are giving me Saturday and Sunday.  It has been awhile since we spent some time together.  Now, to make some plans.  I do want to take them to movies on Sunday.  I have been going to the movies on Sunday; it is becoming a weekly event.  So what to do on Saturday, I will leave it up to the girls.

Yesterday, I had a test in Civil Litigation II.  My first for the summer session.  Can you believe that, 2 weeks till school is over, and we are having our first test.  I think I did great, but I try not to do that.  I like to wait for my grade, than I could say if it was easy or not.  But things are good, can't wait till I finish the summer session.  I am so ready for a break......

I went to today to the main office for college.  I received a letter back in May that I was rewarded a scholarships; $300 for fall and $300 for spring; anything helps.  I had to write a 'Thank You' letter and take a copy of my schedule for fall, plus they were going to take my picture.  So I got all doll up.  They token a digital picture which turned out very nice.  I felt like asking; 'Can you email me that picture?'  But I didn't.  I will have to attend a banquet in the Spring; that will be nice, huh. 

Let's see what else has happen........
Things with ex are ok.  I did get into it with him the beginning of the week.  Sunday night, when I was putting my son to bed.  He told me that he slept with my ex and katy.  I was so upset and called him.  He told me that he did not, he slept with Sabrina, baby girl.  I was so upset, he told me that he didn't and told me that I need to deal with my issue and hung up.  I was pissed......
I called him back and told him words on his voice mail because he did not answer.  Then he called back and I did not answer and he told me words.  Now, I do not do this name calling thing.  That is so elementary......  Well, he did.  He called me a 'Loser.'

I went to sleep, but I tossed and turned.  I was up at 6 am, so I called him and left him a voicemail. 
I told him;  "He was a crowd.  Why do you have to do that.  Call me a Loser, why don't you say that to my face; be a man.  All I am worry about is my kids.  I am glad that you are moving on with your life.  I know that things are over between us. (Yes, he told me that it is over between us. once again.)  It has been over a year now.....  and I hope he is happy.  That is all I want for him.  Like I want to move on with my life and find someone who will make me happy.  All we have to talk about is things about our kids.  And I have.  Anything that I have brought up is about our kids.  Yes, I am worry that your girlfriend is crazy.  And maybe she is acting this way because she is insecure about your relationship with her.  I understand; We were married 17 years, so I would too if I were in her shoes.  But since she acted this way; it makes me worry about what she might do to our kids.  That is all..........  This is all about OUR KIDS and nothing more to that." 

Well, that helped because he called back and we talked and talked.  He still is trying to make me understand that she is not crazy and a good person.  But time will tell......

So here I sit back and wait and prayer that nothing bad will happen to my  kids...........

Till next time.......
   

I am worry for my JLand friend, Lisa Jo.........

Her last entry; she noted that she was on her way to the ER.  I hope everything is fine.....  Please say a prayer for her.

 

I bought this CD.
Why does this song sound so familiar.  It is by Paul McCartney.........
It is beautiful.

Till next time............

 

The concert was awesome.......................

I am still in awe...... from last night.  I woke up this morning wanting to write my review for my online class.  Part of the reason for attending the concert.  I will be posting my review at the end of this entry.

I want to say HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to every dad in JLand.   "Tough Little Boys" by Gary Allan  <-------- click to view song and video.
Last night, Gary Allan performed this song. I wish I had the CD so I could add it to my journal.  Beautiful song.......



Today, I went to movies and saw Lake House.  Beautiful love story.  At times, I felt like it was speaking to me.  It touched me so deeply.  Let me ask; do you ever feel like you keep people, family or friends in a distance?  Do you honestly open up (whole hearted) to everyone?  Do you feel like you are in prison, inside your self?

That is me then there are time am not.........
Today I was soul search this question.  I am still afraid of rejection.  I am afraid to be alone, or that everyone will not like me for who I am.  I know I have grown so much through the separation and divorce.  I have found some what of myself, but it seems to me that I am still growing.



Now for my review:

Rascal Flatts

 

The Rascal Flatts’ concert was awe-inspiring. The opening of the concert started with The Wrecker’s.  I am not too familiar with their music except for “Leave the Pieces, (girl loses boy).”  Michelle Branch teamed up with Jessica Harp.  Apparently, she took a break from her solo career to tour with her friend as backup singer. Next on stage was Gary Allen; I am familiar with his music.  He sang songs like “Best I’ve Ever Had, (Boy loses girl)” “Man of Me, (Boy meets girl)” “Tough little Boys, (Man dealing with being a father.)” and my favorite “Life Ain’t Always Beautiful, (About life).”  Now, his music stirred up the fans.

     The Amphitheatre was filled with screaming, cheering and clapping fans when the stage lights turned on to announce that Rascal Flatts were entering the stage.  Behind a huge curtain with a back light stand together was Rascal Flatts looking like a Charlie’s Angels pose.  Then the curtain fell and the music started with a stage full of TV screen of moving video.  The scene was breathtaking as they sang songs like “From Time To Time, (girl/boy remembers boy/girl)” “One Good Love, (boy truly loves one girl)” “See Me Through, (boy meets girl)” and “Mayberry, (Missing the old days.).”  I could go on and on with all my beloved songs they chanted.

In between songs, they greeted their fans and each one of the Rascal Flatts would have a solo performs.  They are so down to earth and talented musicians.  Largely, Jay impressed me; he played the guitar, drums and the piano.  In his drum solo performs was with the group drummer Jim; astounding act.  You could perceive that they prepared their performance.

     In my opinion, the best part of the concert is when Rascal Flatts were standing on the platform that lifted them to the air and moved them to the center stage.  This center stage was constructed in middle of audience seating.  They were 20 feet from where I was sitting and they sang “Skin, (girl dealing with cancer),” and as they moved back to the main stage.  They sang my favorite song-“I’m Movin’ On, (girl/boy dealing with a break up).”  The audience sang with group and at times, Gary would stop singing to hear the audience sing; this would happen often through out their presentation.  In performing “What Hurts the Most, (Boy/girl loses girl/boy),” a #1 hit single; it first started with the video on the background TV screen then the group joined in.

Lastly, Rascal Flatts sang “Fast Cars and Freedom, (Boy loves girl)” then “Keep Your Hands To Yourself” from The Georgia Satellites, during this song, Michelle Branch and Gary Allan joined in to end the show. This was my first concert to attend, and I will never forget; a memorable performance.

 

Till next time..............
    

That doubt inside your head..................

I read in Jen's journal.  Boy, that is hard.  At time for me, I hear how I need to lose weight.  I need to fix my hair.  All the things I find wrong in me.  But then I hear the good things.  How I am living.  Other people have worst things happening in their lives.  I am grateful for what I have, but I still worry.

Just yesterday, that doubt came.......
My son was with his dad for his weekday visit.  I was at a restaurant, so I asked him to drop him off there.  Well, in the car was his girlfriend and her kids.  This was the first time that he had her come with him to drop off DJ so it though me for a loop.  I meet him outside and grab DJ and walk back inside to the restaurant.  DJ did not get to say goodbye to dad because I did not want to see him.

I have been avoiding my ex.  2 weeks ago, he told me all those ugly things.  I was upset; if he wants to believe everything that comes out of his girlfriends mouth and does not bother to check with what I have to say about things.  Then all we have to talk about is the kids, nothing else.  He did call me a couple days ago.  He was asked about my co-worker.  If he was interested in the washer/dryer that he was selling.  Mind you all, all this is through voicemail because I am not answering the phone when he calls.

First, I though "Jerk."  I kept the washer/dryer from our house.  So the W/D he was selling had to be the girlfriends, and he was calling me to help him sell them......  Jerk....... 
But I did thought about my co-worker.  He does need the W/D.  So I give him his phone number to call him.  I did not even call my ex like he asked me to.......
The way I see it, the way he is treating me.  I would not be friends with someone.  Who would treat someone like the way he is treating me.  To doubt things after we been married for over 17 years......  What an Idiot......
He does not deserve my friendship........  and he will not.

But yesterday, after DJ was saying that he did not get to say goodbye or kiss dad goodbye, I had him call him.  Well, he had given the phone to his girlfriends kids to say goodbye and then he gave the phone to his girlfriend to say goodbye.  I was over hear this on the phone with DJ.

That hurt me......  She said to him that she loved him and missed him,  see you later Baby Boy.........  I could still hear her voice.
I know.....  My boss has been talking to me that I should be happy that his girlfriend is treating my kids good, but I worry about if she is really crazy and what she will do to my son.  My girls are older and know  better, but DJ is the one I worry about the most.
Plus July, He will be with dad......  OH MY.......
I hope time flys by fast........
All I could do is stand on the side lines and wait..... HUH.........

I will be speaking to my attorney on Monday.  I hope she has some answer for me.......



TOMORROW.......... IS THE CONCERT.

I am so excited..........  Rascal Flatts.........

So here is their cover song.......
ME AND MY GANG.....  here to all my friends on Jland.........

I have to go.....
Till next time......

   

Last night, I was feeling like things were falling apart......

I have been neglecting things; I wait for the last minute on homework, balancing the checkbook, etc.....
Well, last night I felt like I was losing it.  I am taking an online course, the History of Rock and Roll.  Lisa Jo, you would love this class.  I am learning a lot about the Beatles and Rolling Stone plus more.  But it is a lot reading, quizzes, discussions and with my second class.  More reading plus projects due once a week.  Which they are done with groups, but trying to get the group together.  When everyone else has a life too...... Hard......

I can't wait till this summer I ends, but then I need to do the work...... UGH.......

So back to reading......

Just had to vent........
Till next time.......
 

Where to start....................

Last Saturday......  OH yea....

Aransas Pass or Austin.......

Well I did not go to either one.........
I had made my mind to go to Austin.  I called Jessie to tell him.  Later, he called and said that his friend from Austin was called to Dallas.  So the trip was cancelled, but we did make plans to go to Aransas Pass.  He would call me once he was on his way to my place.
He did call me, but he said that he need to make a stop at his mother, family problem that he needed to deal with, so that was about 4 pm.  Well, when 7:30 rolled around, and I did not hear from him.  I left my apartment, called my friend Leslie........
She was at Chili's in Portland.  I joined her for drinks.....
Oh, I bought this halter sundress that is so beautiful.......
I wore it that night, and I received so many compliments.  I mean everywhere I went...  some one was telling me that dress is so beautiful or I looked beautiful.........
At Chili's, I was going to the lady's bathroom, and a waiter was coming my direction.  I told him excuse me, and he said, "No, excuse me, and by the way, that is a beautiful dress."  I had a big smile on my face.........
That was the beginning.......... I saw my friend Pat at Chili's, and she told me I looked nice.  Then I saw my bosses, and they told me I looked nice......

Well enough of that........
Leslie told me, she was going to this club in Ingleside. It is near Portland.  So I join her.  She was going to meet other friend of hers there.
We got there and bought drinks.  20 minutes later, this guy asked me to dance, and I dance with him....... He was not my type but I wanted to dance. 
After, we waited and waited for her friend.  We were going to leave when her friend saw her, so we were all chatting.  Well, the waitress came over and told us that this guy (she pointed) wanted to buys us a round of drinks.  He had talked to Sandy.  She was friends with Leslie's friend, Shawna.  So we sat down and drank our drinks and chatted some more......  When Sandy told Leslie that this young guy was pointing at her......  She turns and say, "Oh No.....  He is to young for me."
Well, he came over and sat down (brave) with us and started talking with Leslie.  It turned out that he knew her.  He was friend with her nephew........
but he sat with us and chatted.  When he turned to me and asked me to dance.

We dance the night away...........
Oh my, we could dance.........  hehehehe........

2 A.M. rolled around and the club was closing......
So we go outside to say goodbye to each other..........
When Clinton (Yes, that is his name) asked me to go over to his place..........
I tell him that I do not know you.......
He tells me, trust me, come over.........
I tell him again I do not know you......
He tells me to talk to Leslie, she will tell me that I could trust him.......
So I go to talk to Leslie, and she tells me.  Yes, he is friends with my nephew.  Then she turns to me and tells me, "He is 24 years old......."
I tell her yea, I know.......  hehehe.......
So I go with him........

  
Ok....  I will not get into detail, but I had one of my fantasy come true.....   and it is not that he was 24 years old.....   Well, I find out the next day that he is 23 years old.......  OH MY......... hehehe......

He is what I need right now.......
We both know that we do not have a future together.....
But we are have a good time together.......

Last night, I meet up with him.....
Boy what a night......
My ex called me to tell me that he has baseball ticket and wanted to take DJ.  He asked if he could bring he home late.  I told him '"Yes, that was alright."
So what I did........
I had made dinner for my friends: Thelma, her daughter, Amy,  and Susan J.

Oh I forgot to tell you all.......
I purchased ticket for "Rascal Flatts."  They are going to be in San Antonio........  But I could not find anyone to go with me.  I bought 2 tickets......  So I ask all my friends and no one could go......  So last night I asked Amy.  Thelma's daughter......  She said, "Yes." 
She loves me so much......  She is like a daughter to me.......  It will be on the 17th.

But back to the dinner party......
After we finished....  Thelma had to leave.  Her son was playing baseball.   So Susan and I went to Northbeach.  My boss had called me and invited me to have drinks with them.  We joined them........

On the drive to meet them.  I called the EX.  I asked him if it was ok for DJ to spend the night with him.  He said he had to go to work at 6 am.  I told him to drop him off before.  He ummed and ummmed and finally said ok.......
I knew I was going to be drinking and was going to be out later than he would have dropped DJ.......

So when that went through.......
I called Clinton to invited him to have drinks with us.......
I am bad.........
But he could not.  He was making dinner for his boss.
But he did say to meet him afterwards.......
So I told him to call me when he was finished and make our plans...... hehehehe.........

OH MY.......  I can not believe I am have so much fun......  Sorry, I can't help myself........
He is so sweet to me.  He tells me nice things........
Things like; I can't believe your ex let you go.  You are so beautiful.  You are a nice women.  He saying all the right things....... It feels good.......

Well, enough of this......
Till next time.........

  

Cool Email, Girls.........................................

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."

 MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$65,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

 

Til next time.............

 

I went out last night.............

As soon as I got off of work at 4:30 pm.  I went over to my friend's work, Melinda.  I want to talk to her to go out and have happy hour with me.  She said, 'No. Wait till tomorrow.  We'll go out." 
I told her I need to hit happy hour with the week I had.........

So I went by myself........
I remember that they were having an Art Festive by the place I usually go.  I found this person 'Toni;' who does beautiful portraits with charcoal or acrylic.  So beautiful..... She has an eye for color and line movement......  Look at me, sounding like I know about art.  I could see that thought........ But I want for her to do my portrait. I just need to find a picture..........

Well, I had a Mexican Martini and an appetizer, and I talked to my friend, Terry, the bartender.  He was doing good.  It had been awhile that I had talked to him.  After my drink and food, I went next door.  It was packed because Kris Kristofferson was going to play. It was sold out weeks ago, and ticket were going for $50, man......... But I did want to check things out......

As I did; I saw Leslie...........
Do you remember Leslie.  My last party at my house with all my girlfriends.................
Leslie's boyfriend made a move on my friend Susan back in December, and Susan decide to tell Leslie about it even though it had been a month ago........
Well, we caught up and ended up hanging out with her.  We sat and chat and drank when her friend, Jim, called.  He invited us over, so we went........
Now, Jim is gay.....  and he has a body.......  He has been on Playgirl that is how good his body is........

I sat and chat with Leslie and Jim..........
It is so true about how your friend are good therapy........
Talking with Leslie helped me work things out in my head.  She told me that I have a great way of dealing with things, and things will get better.  Leslie is divorce; I am not sure how many years it has been, so she knows what I am going through.
But I talk to Jim about Brenda Lee.  He thinks she is gay......  Which I figure that, but I know dad will have a problem.  I am surprise that things have not gotten worse with them, but then I do not hear everything about my girls.
So I figure I need to find a therapist or visit my friend Leslie more often...... it was so good for my soul.
But after a while my friend, Susan, called me.  She was out with the boyfriend and wanted me to meet them, so I could meet him.  I did go...... they were in the area I was earlier, plus she found her favorite band playing........
We had a great time.........  I did finally get her on the dance floor.  Her boyfriend would not dance with her, so I did.....

TONIGHT......
Melinda wants to go to Aransas Pass.  They are have a festival, and a favorite group is playing.  But I know she does not want to travel; it is a 15-20 minute drive from Corpus. I talk her into it.......

Well, I just got off the phone with my other friend, Jessie.  He is going to Austin.  Austin is having a biker's rally at 6th Street; another festival.   So what to do.....
Aransas Pass or Austin????????? 

 

I just heard this song on the radio...... 
and I have the cd; another Rascal Flatts song.........
It is the perfect song to send to my EX.......  hehehe...
The only part that I do not agree with the song is:
"They'll never allow me to change"
You are able to change.......

Here are the lyrics:

I'm Movin' On

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm Movin' On

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm Movin' On

Chorus
I'm Movin' On
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in eveyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm Movin' On

I'm Movin' On
I'm Movin' On
I'm Movin' On

Till next time......
 

<sigh>..............

Now I wish I had a man, who would feel that way about me.........  I melt..........

I heard this song and fell in love with it.  I did not realize it till I looked at my cd collection that I already purchased the cd; lovely........

The girlfriend is stirring things again.................

My ex called me yesterday, and I did not want to talk to him.  Which I am glad now because I have everything he said on voicemail.  I can not believe that he believe everything that comes out of that girlfriends mouth.......
I did try to call him back, but he did not answer.  Which was good because I really did not want to argue with him.  But I was pissed.

I talked to the girlfriends ex husband back when the girlfriend accused me of grabbing her.  Now I regret talking to him, but I am not sure what he said to the girlfriend to cause all this.  My ex did not give me all the info about what was going on in the voicemail.  He said that he could not believe that I would in open court say that BOTH and he stressed 'both' girls were gay and some about child molestation.  He was not clear about everything, but I was worry about what the girls had heard......... 

So I called the girls to talk to them.  I did not get into detail with them.  I did not want to be seen as the bad guy and showing that I hate the girlfriend.  I do not want it to back fire on me.  But they did not know what I was talking about, but I told them that if they needed to talk to me about anything to call me.........  I hope they do.
I hope they will not be like dad and believe everything that the girlfriend is saying.  I mean what about what I have to say about what she is saying........  My word...... Me......

I can not believe that I am dealing with this.....
I was coming to terms about my ex moving on and living with the girlfriend; wanting peace.......
and now the girlfriend is feeling so insecure that she has to play games......

I could see how she wants my ex to think that I am the bad guy; the reason why he left me, so he will not feel the same feeling that he felt for me.  So I have not contact him.  I will let it be....  that I am the bad guy.

Once, she sees I am out of the picture.  She will have something else to feel insecure and do her gameplaying on that and hopefully my ex will see her for what she is...... CRAZY.........

Thank You, Daniella......  for emailing me. 

You helped me stay together........

It is rained and thundering....................

as I type this....  It is so nice........ 
We have not had rain for awhile, so the rain is needed.
I had Thelma over last night.  I made dinner, and we had wine.  We almost finish the bottle, or I should say that I almost finish the bottle.  Sometime wine makes me sleepy which was nice because I have not been able to sleep well.  But I was in bed by 9 pm, and now I am up at 4 am......

Oh Well......
I need to get ready for school and see if I could do some homework before school starts.

Did I tell you that one of my class did not make, UGH.......  So I had to look online for other class, but I did find a class that I could take online....  something new for the school, so I will see how it goes.......

I hoping that these next 6 weeks go by so fast......
I was enjoying my break......  Plus in 6 weeks, DJ will be with dad for the month, but I know that all I will be doing is worrying about him.  In the house with the girlfriend and dad for 1 month........  I wish I didn't have to let him go....  but it is in the divorce decree.  He has to be with dad for a month in the summer.... UGH.......

Till next time.......