That doubt inside your head..................

I read in Jen's journal.  Boy, that is hard.  At time for me, I hear how I need to lose weight.  I need to fix my hair.  All the things I find wrong in me.  But then I hear the good things.  How I am living.  Other people have worst things happening in their lives.  I am grateful for what I have, but I still worry.

Just yesterday, that doubt came.......
My son was with his dad for his weekday visit.  I was at a restaurant, so I asked him to drop him off there.  Well, in the car was his girlfriend and her kids.  This was the first time that he had her come with him to drop off DJ so it though me for a loop.  I meet him outside and grab DJ and walk back inside to the restaurant.  DJ did not get to say goodbye to dad because I did not want to see him.

I have been avoiding my ex.  2 weeks ago, he told me all those ugly things.  I was upset; if he wants to believe everything that comes out of his girlfriends mouth and does not bother to check with what I have to say about things.  Then all we have to talk about is the kids, nothing else.  He did call me a couple days ago.  He was asked about my co-worker.  If he was interested in the washer/dryer that he was selling.  Mind you all, all this is through voicemail because I am not answering the phone when he calls.

First, I though "Jerk."  I kept the washer/dryer from our house.  So the W/D he was selling had to be the girlfriends, and he was calling me to help him sell them......  Jerk....... 
But I did thought about my co-worker.  He does need the W/D.  So I give him his phone number to call him.  I did not even call my ex like he asked me to.......
The way I see it, the way he is treating me.  I would not be friends with someone.  Who would treat someone like the way he is treating me.  To doubt things after we been married for over 17 years......  What an Idiot......
He does not deserve my friendship........  and he will not.

But yesterday, after DJ was saying that he did not get to say goodbye or kiss dad goodbye, I had him call him.  Well, he had given the phone to his girlfriends kids to say goodbye and then he gave the phone to his girlfriend to say goodbye.  I was over hear this on the phone with DJ.

That hurt me......  She said to him that she loved him and missed him,  see you later Baby Boy.........  I could still hear her voice.
I know.....  My boss has been talking to me that I should be happy that his girlfriend is treating my kids good, but I worry about if she is really crazy and what she will do to my son.  My girls are older and know  better, but DJ is the one I worry about the most.
Plus July, He will be with dad......  OH MY.......
I hope time flys by fast........
All I could do is stand on the side lines and wait..... HUH.........

I will be speaking to my attorney on Monday.  I hope she has some answer for me.......



TOMORROW.......... IS THE CONCERT.

I am so excited..........  Rascal Flatts.........

So here is their cover song.......
ME AND MY GANG.....  here to all my friends on Jland.........

I have to go.....
Till next time......