Yesterday was a mess.........

I ran around and took care of things that I had been putting off.  Plus DJ had a dental appointment.  I should have been more prepared.  This is their family dentist before the divorce.  They are so friendly, and we had been seeing them like forever. I walked in, and we were taken to the room.  Michelle has been there since we have been going there.  She walked into the room and told me that she was not aware that David and I were divorce.  She must have been the last one to know at the office.  Strange......  But I told her I was doing good.  Life is going on....

I did not realize how this really affected me.  I kept hear those words; I am doing good......  but yesterday I went for a run.  I was listening to Tim McGraw,  'My Little Girl' went I start to cry.  I remember the pain I went through.  All my hopes and dreams I had for David and I, and how quickly it was gone.......

How I feel so alone right now......
Wonder if I will every find someone to share my hopes and dreams with.

But most of all, how I feel so alone.........
to be connected, so close........
I remember that........
I wish I had that back, but I know I will not have it with David.
That is lost forever.......

I did talk to my ex last night.  He was out of town, but I wanted to talk to him because Brenda Lee called me on Monday night asking to come over.  I told her yes to come over.  Well, 30 minutes had passed, and she still had not arrived.  So I called David.  He did not answer, so I waited awhile and called him again.  He still did not answer, so I called again.  This time he answered; I asked him if Brenda Lee had left already because she has not arrived.  He said that she was still there, and they were having a talk.  She would call me when she was leaving.

Well, she came over.  I made her dinner.  We sat and eat, but she did not say much, so I did not asked what was going on.  She watch tv and then went to bed.

Last night when I talked to David.  I asked him what was going on.  He said that Brenda Lee ran up the Cell phone bill up again, and He took her cell phone away from her.  They had a good talk, and he thinks she is coming around.  He has been on her case about getting a job, until then he would not keep pay for things.  He said that a couple of weeks back, she was upset and throw her cell phone to the wall.  It still works except for the screen on the phone.  She has been asking dad to buy her a new one, and he has been asking her to get a job, so she could buy a new one.  Things like this is what is going on with David and Brenda Lee.

He did also tell me about Sabrina.........
This is goood.......
Apparently, Sabrina told dad that he is fault for everything.  She does not feel like a family; he does not tell her that she is beautiful or that he loves her.  She let him have it......
David said he was shocked....  I can not believe him......
He can not see what he has done........
I think she is feeling a little jealous of how David is treating his girlfriends girl compare to them.  But I do not blame her.  I do blame David.  He just does not see things, and he is shocked... Jerk.......  but this is something that David and Sabrina will have to work out.  And now that the therapist is in the picture; I could sit back a little.

I tried to talk to David because he kept saying that Sabrina does not do things and for her to be say that was wrong.  He says that they ask her to go place with them, and when they are there.  She is asking to go back home.  He says that he does tell her that he loves her; it is Sabrina that is not realizing things.
I tried talking to him, but I know how he gets when he gets that way.....
Anyway, there is so much you can do, and the rest has to be with the other person.........

It hurts me to see that my girls are hurting this way.......
They are trying to get a voice but not knowing how.......
They are growing up and see that...... 
It is hard to see in their eyes that life can be cruel......
to see the pain, when I feel the pain they are going through......

Just keep movin'  Just keep movin'

Is all I could do.......
Till next time.......