I am feeling the so tried, but I can't sleep.

School started and homework too. UGH...........

I miss my son so much.  Today was his first day at headstart, and he had a good day; so glad.  I was told that he said that he miss his mom.  I miss him so much.  I have not heard anything about what is going on with the investigation, but the time frame is coming to an end.  With school and that coming up, I am feeling so stressed.  I have been running everyday since this has happen except one day out of the week.  I do rest.  I run and walk but mostly run 2 miles.  It has help plus I have dropped a pants size; the good side of running; you loose weight.  My weight scale broke, so I can't even see how much I have lost.  OH WELL.....  I feel it in my clothes.

I am taking another online class for Algebra.  Wish me luck; I hope I could do this.  Hope that everything I learn in high school will come back to me.  Plus I am taking an English class and for my degree; I am taking interview and investigation plus my last word processing class which I know that will be my most difficult class because of all the work that needs to be done.  But I believe it will be a good semester except I am dealing with things at home.  I know one day at a time.  I just wish I could sleep.  I didn't go running today maybe that is why I can't sleep.

Well, till next time.......

 

I had so much fun today................

Today was media day for the football team and the cheerleaders.  My friend Thelma asked me to take my camera.  I had so much fun taking these pictures.

I did feel sad at times because I know that the band have already done there pictures, and the girls did not ask for me to take my camera.  Maybe Brenda Lee took hers, but I did have fun taking my friends kids pictures........

I will have to explain what else happen today with the ex.

But I am going to meet my mother for dinner.  I will write tomorrow......

Till next time; Enjoy the pictures.....
What do you think Kendra?  Nice.........

 

There is so much going on........
I have been feeling so stressed.

Well, it happened.  DJ was kicked out of daycare on Wednesday.  He hit another little boy 3 times, so they called David to pick him up and not to bring him back.  I knew this was going to happen.  I was upset, but I knew that David has to deal with DJ.  He called to tell me that he was going to put him in daycare there in Portland.  I told him not too.  I know that he has him, but I am still responsible for his daycare.  I told him I would start looking around and try to call headstart.  I was trying to get him in there.
Well, I had call around for daycare and visited 2 daycares.  One of them was so small; there kitchen was not even a kitchen.  It was a room with a microwave, and they playyard had no grass; carpet grass.  OH NO.....
But I did finally get a hold of headstart and set up an interview for Thursday morning.  Well, DJ got in, but as I sat there. I debate about telling them about the CPS investigation.  I did not say anything, but did attend the parent orientation and learn that they have help with misbehavior kids. So I went to talk to my advocate and told her about what was going on.  Well, on Monday they are going to start the paperwork to get help for DJ.  I feel like a huge rock has been lifted off my shoulders.

Oh, David had called CPS to tell them that DJ was kicked out of daycare.  They told him that he needs to go and do a mental retardation evaluation.  They say not that he looks retarded but for his aggression.  So I have a Tuesday appointment to talk to the therapist about this.  What more has to happen.

Oh, I did let my ex have it.........
When he called to tell me that DJ was kicked out.  He was complaining about his work.
He: I needs to work; my job is on the line.
I: You brought this on yourself.
He: No, Brenda, you went overbroad.
I: It was an accident.  I did not mean to bruse him, and you know that after all those years. You know I am not an abusive person.
He:  You should not spank a 4 year old with a belt.
I: Well, I will tell you; I will never spank DJ with a belt ever.  But you now have to deal with him.  I am sorry I can not help.  I miss him and I am his mother.

It will take me a long time before I forgive him for this.
Switching weekends will never happen with me after all this.  He has put me through so much.........

After all this ended; yesterday afternoon.  I was so ready to let loose......
So I went out last night......
ELI YOUNG BAND was playing at the club I go to from time to time.  Justin was to come down, but when I talked to him.  He told me that his roommate; who is moving today was going to have a go-away party.  So he did not come with me.  So I called a friend; guy friend from college to come with me.  And he did.  He and I had a great time listening to the music and drinking.  Oh, he likes me too but never told me till last night.  But he is other Justin.  He is 33 and wants kids some day, plus I am not really attracted to him.  He is very sweet, and we have good conversations.  He is a good friend, but I don't want to be with him like girlfriend and boyfriend.
We bought CD's and once I upload it.  I will put on some music in here.  I also brought a t-shirt, plus I still have been running everyday, and today I was told that I look good that I lose weight.  My weigh scale broke, so I do not know if that is true.  I did go and purchase 2 pair of jeans for school, and I did go down a size, but they are stretch jeans so.  But I did feel good.  I will not stop running till I have my son back home.  This is helping with the stress and my fitness; all good.

Well, till next time.........

  

I called DJ yesterday at the wrong time.  He was watching Monster, Inc. and did not want to talk to me.  I asked David what he was going to do.  DJ did get on the phone, but he yelled, "Goodbye" and gave the phone to David.  I asked him again David what he was going to do, and he said that he was going to pause the movie.  Well, DJ had a fit.  He would get on the phone and would yelled goodbye.  I tryed to talk to him.  I told him that he was not being nice and not to talk to mommy that way.  David would tell DJ, that he was going to turn off the movie and put him to bed.  He did finally talked to me.  But I kept it short, so he could go back to see the movie. 

David did asked me when I was going to see DJ again.  I told him that Thelma schedule is difficult, but I am trying to get her to make sometime.  I do want to see him, but Thelma has a life too.  This is his doing, and in some way, I am holding back, so he could see how it is to have DJ 24/7 or just about.  I do miss my son, but only to see him with supervise visitations; this is so wrong.  He did this, so now he needs to deal with it.  Maybe after this, he will have some respect for what I go through with DJ.  Which I am not complaining.  I am his mother, and I know every mother would agree that we put them first or I do.  This are wonderful time and delicate times to raise your child.

I am brought a spot on the football program for Brenda Lee.  This pass weekend I was going through my photo albums which was very hard for me.  I was glad that Thelma was there with me.  I would look at the picture and remember the times.  What a life that was to what is going on now.  I miss my girls so much.  I did talk to my girls on Sunday for a while.  I was glad that they talked to me.  I am worry about Sabrina because she sounded sad.  She said that she had a headache, so it might be that but will check on her from time to time.  I did called them yesterday and left voice mail.  Brenda Lee was the only one who return my call back.  I was glad.  I am going to see if they will come over this weekend.

Justin did call me yesterday.  He is dealing with things too, but I could see thatwe will stay friends.  He did call me beautiful when he called.  He is so sweet to me, and I have my feelings for him, and he does too.  So what to do with this........
ONE DAY AT A TIME, HUH........

Well, till next time..........
   

The weekend is finally over.............

I did nothing on Friday night even thought one of my favorite local band was playing.  I did get to see my son Saturday morning and afternoon.  But it was short.
Hate this.......  I am his mother, and my ex doing this to me has me questioning everything about me.  It is helping me to learn to be strong and patience that is one thing that is for sure true.  I will be ok, but I can't wait till this is all over.

Saturday night I did go out.  I could not stay home another night.  I was trying to get together with Justin, but he had plans already, and he said that he would call me that night when he came back home.  So I went out with my bosses (husband and wife) and friends.  We went to listen to a band and had drinks.  We had so much fun while I waited for Justin to call me.  Well.....  He did not call me until 3:30 am, but let me tell you what happen.  First let me explain, my bosses are so cool... down to earth.  I have become so close to Kristi, the wife.  Monte, the husband is so lay back.  We get along so cool......  Kristi is not the jealous person, let me say that.
Ok, I was wearing my favorite shirt which is a string tank shirt, beautiful print.  I will have to take a picture one of these days and post it.  In fact, I told Justin that I would take a picture and email it to him because I had called him that night to tell him that I was looking very hot, and he was missing out.  Well, the whole night I kept looking and waiting for his call and nothing.  Well around 1 am and everyone is drunk, Monte whisper in my ear that I have nice boobs.  I smile at him and said Thank You. hehehe....
I told him that he should call Justin and tell him that.  He asked for his number, so I gave it to him.  Justin did not answer, so Monte left a voicemail for him tell him that I have nice boobs.  Well, We all go home; I was in bed by 2 a.m. then my cell phone rings at 3:30 am.  Yep, Justin was calling.  He said that he got a call from Monte about my boobs.  I told him; yep, you missed out.  I asked him where he was.  He gave me his story, but Idid not care.  I did tell him that we need to talk and that I would drive up in the morning when I woke up.  He said ok.  So when I woke up and showered and changed.  I drove to Beeville.  When I did see him, we talked about last night.  I know he was jealous.  He asked if I was trying to see if he would get jealous.  I asked him if he was.  He said he was not, so I told him then no I was not.  Then he asked me what if he was jealous would that matter, so I asked him again, were you jealous. He said no again, so then I told him no It did not.  I do believe he was jealous.......  Well, it does not matter because we talked and talked about things.  And we both agree that we should end this before it when farther.  He definitely wants kids, but he wants to be friends, close friends and not friends with benefits type, but close friends.  Which I agree, he is a good and beautiful person.  I see him, and I wish things were different for us, but I would love to be friends with him till time goes.  This is hard because I do have feeling for him as he does too.  Yesterday, he told me that he loves me, but he always dreamed of kids of his own.  And I understand that so much.  I told him that for some faith chance we were meant to meet and for what reason; who knows.  Time will tell.  I move forward and wish him to be there with me as friends.  So will see what happens...

I went this morning to purchase my books for school.  I had a book given to me from a friend that I will use this semester plus I purchase another book from another friend last semester.  Beside those books, I purchased 6 more books, then grand total = $230.00.  Yep, too much..........
School will start next Monday; Yeppy, not.......
I so enjoyed this summer break.  I can't wait till I graduated; I am so ready........

Well, till next time.....
  

 

Life has been rolling on.................

It has been a tough week for me.  Being without DJ in this apartment has been really hard.  I hate being alone.  Tuesday night was the first night I slept in this apartment, but I have been having a drink at night to sleep; it does that for me.  Also Justin's dilemma comes at a bad time, but I have been giving him his time.  He did call me yesterday, but he did not say much.  He is still dealing with it.  But I have been thinking about it.  If the problem was not that I was not able to have kids.  I believe his mother would have had some other problem as to dating me, but I can view it like that.  This is the problem that we are facing; can't change the facts.

To change the subject; David called me yesterday morning.  The daycare had called him to pick up DJ.  He was throwing and not listen to the teacher once again.  I did also talk to DJ Thursday night around 9 pm.  Apparently, He would not go to sleep till he talked to me.  When we talked; he was whinny.  He broke my heart because I could not give him a hug.  I miss him so much.
I do have plans this morning to visit with him.  My friend Thelma is picking him up and bring him here to visit with me from 9-2 pm.  I can't wait...........

Well, till next time.

 

One of my best friend; Susan became a grandmother yesterday afternoon.  OH MY..............

Grandmother............  Her son is 18 years old, so young.

But she called me to ask me to take pictures for her, so she could email her family.  She was thankful that I was able to do that for her.

He weight 6 lbs 12 oz., tiny compared to DJ; he weighed 8 lbs 3 oz.

But mom and baby are doing fine.  Now for the late night feedings.............

 

I have been speaking to DJ on the phone everyday, plus David did agree to have Thelma be there, so I could visit with DJ.  I can't wait.  DJ called me this morning too.  He wanted to talk to me, and David told me that he woke up saying, "My mommy loves me."  I am so happy to hear that.  I can't wait to see him.

As for Justin, he called me Tuesday night, but he did not call me last night.  I know he needs time.  Now Last week, he likes to karaoke, and he told me that he sang "Great Balls of Fire" and "Brown Eye Girl."  I told him, "OH.... you were think of me."  He said he sure was.......
Now, every time I hear that I song I think of Justin.......
He is so sweet..........

Well, till next time......

  
We made plans for this Saturday.

I will  be back to tell ya'll about these pictures...........

~BRIN

 

I just started up my myspace.com website, plus my SIL has helped me decorate it.  She send me this bulletin I would like to share.  Hope I don't offend anyone.

By the way, if anyone has a myspace.com website or is interest in view mine, check it out: www.myspace.com/brinbutterfly

 

booty call agreement...sign below

Body:

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2006, by_______________________, between ____________and______________. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES: 1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning. 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening. 3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about. 4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed. 5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask. 6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement. 7. All gifts accepted - money is always good. 8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged. 9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business. 10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies. 11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended. 12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave. 13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home. 14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care. 15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason. 16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend." 17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better. 19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home. 20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store. 21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass. * EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules. Participating Party Signature_______________________________________ Date: ________________ Participating Party Signature_______________________________________ Date: ________________

 

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE QUEEN OF ROCK............

 

AAAAHHHHHHH...........

AAAAHHHHHHH..........

I am just screaming, and I should do it to my ex.

Every since this thing has happen; standing in the room at CPS.  He has been telling me; how am I going to get DJ to daycare.  You know how hard it was for me in July with him.

And now, last night he called me to tell me that Sabrina came down with a rash, bad rash.  He asked if I knew if she was allergic to anything.  I told him about shrimp, but Brenda Lee said that she is allergic to shrimp.  I knew it was one of them, but then I thought it might be nerves.  Well, he took her to the doctor today.  I had called the CPS about seeing my son without my ex or someone else.  He said that if David would agree with someone else that would be ok.  So I called him to tell him this when he was at the Dr.  with Sabrina, and he start in it again.  How he had to take time off from work to get Sabrina to the Dr. and get DJ to the dentist.  I told him; been there, done that.  But he agree to have Thelma there for the supervise visitation, so I need to get with her to schedule something for this weekend.

On top of all this; I have been with Justin.  Which I am so happy I have him here.  He is my angel.  I really thought that hearing about this.  He would freak and run the other direction, but he has been by my side.  In fact, I think it has brought us closer, strange, huh...  So happy to be with him...........

He told me today that he talked to his mother about me.  Yep, his mother.......
But what I fear about in the beginning is the same thing his mother fears for him.  About having his own kids, plus she wants grand babies from her son.  I told him I understood what his mother is saying.  She told him to break it off with me before it gets to much.
How hard that is, especially after this weekend.  We feel so good together, so right, but one thing that comes to surface.  I knew it, but I can't help what I feeling for him.  I am one to give love a chance, even if it means getting hurt because that is what life can be.  Good and Bad.........  I want to live life to the fullness.  I don't want to be afraid.  I want to risk, take chances, be all that I can be. And with Justin, I am.

But I am giving Justin some time to think about this.  I believe that it takes more to be a father than the sperm; someone to be there, to raise them, to help them, to be all for them.  But this is something that Justin needs to figure what he wants, plus he needs to talk to his mother about this; if he decide to be with me.  You see Justin had a girlfriend in the passed that was PG from some other guy.  Justin wanted to be there for her, and he was.  He was in the birthing room when this baby girl was born.  He help raise her till she passed away.  She was only 2 1/2 years old.  He told me that he was there for her since she was born till the casket when down.  It so sad; I could see how hurt he is.  So I know he could be a great stepfather.  It is the fact about having his own.

I am just fooling myself; I know what it means to have your own kids.  And I want that for Justin.  I wish I could give him some or one.

Anyway, there is so much going on..........
I need to get out.  I think I am going to watch a movie........

Till next time.........

 

What a weekend.........  I have so much going on.

Another bump on the road..............

I do not want to say to much of what is going on because I am afraid that my ex could be reading this.  He has affect my life so much..... UGH...............

OK......  On Friday the daycare called me at around 10 am.  DJ was hitting and running away from the teacher.  He would not mind and was being ugly, so I went and picked him up.  I spanked him again, but this time I pulled his shorts down left his underwear on.  Saturday morning he woke up with marks/bruises; I missed his bottom and hit his thigh.  I felt bad, so bad, but I am trying to discipline him.  I had called my ex to tell him what had happened, and that I spanked him again.  He did not say anything, but he did ask if DJ could go to Emma's (finances little girl) Birthday party.  I agreed.

Well, Saturday morning, he woke up with this marks/bruises.  David called me that morning to tell me that Brenda Lee would be picking up DJ for the party.  I told him about the marks/bruises.  When he saw the marks/bruises.  He called me and told me that was wrong and he was calling the police.  He called them and they told him to call CPS.  He did then he called me back to tell me that he called CPS and was keeping DJ.

Yep, I am being investigated for child abuse.  We had a meeting with CPS that afternoon and they talked to David, Brenda Lee because she came with dad and DJ, plus me.  After that meeting, they gave DJ to David till the investigation is over.  I can't see DJ without supervise visitation.  I can't believe him after 17 years of marriage.  He would think he would know me better, but this comes down to that he is mad at me for not working with him on the switching weekends and keeping DJ, so he would not have to pay child support to me.  I am so pissed at him.........

Here I am dealing with DJ.   He is putting the other kids in daycare in danger by acting this way.  He did drop something that almost caused a child to trip on it.  He knows better, it's just getting to him to understand this angry he has is not good and need to let it out some other way.  I have him in therapy which she has only seem DJ once, she has been talking to me and getting my opinion of what is going on with DJ.  I believe I need to getting her to see him again or find someone else.  Well, now that David has DJ; I am not sure what to do with therapy or what?  I am on an emotional roller coaster ride of life.  I can't believe this................

I can't talk about this anymore.  All I ask is for prayers, please.  I can't loose my son.

Till next time.

 

First, What do ya'll think?
Nice, huh............

But to get to my day..... UGH..........
I was called to get DJ from the daycare.  He was throwing things to the kids and would not mind the teacher.  At the parent/teacher meeting, we agree that I would come down and pick him up to discipline him.  So, I took him home and spanked his bottom and talk to him why.  I dropped him back to daycare.  I thought that everything was ok till 4:45.  They were calling me again; he hit 2 students because he wanted what they had.  So I go and pick him up and I spanked and spanked his bottom.  I believe he understand or I hope he does.  It might take tomorrow to do this routine till he gets that I mean business.  He is acting like a baby.  David came to pick him up at my apartment, and I told him what was going on.  He said he would talk to him, but when he came home.  DJ acted like a baby.  He was asking for this toy that was in my car.  I told him that it will be there tomorrow; it was time to go inside and get ready for dinner and bed.  He whined, and I spanked him in front of David.  He did not say anything, but DJ wanted for dad to pick him up and carry him.  He told him he was big enough to walk.  I am glad he did that, and that he saw how DJ is acting; babyish... UGH......
Anyway, David called me after that and said that he was really down tonight; DJ.  I told him he was in trouble, and he knew I was upset with him.  He is acting to much like a baby; probably from being baby at your place.  I know I was snapping at him.  I was very upset and tried that he makes excuse for him, but he see that DJ is out of hand.  And I am dealing with it, UGH.....

Anyway, I am tried.....
Till next time.....
   

       

David and I had another therapy appointment on Tuesday.  The therapist brought up the fact of switching the weekends, and how I feel about it.  If I was still set with keep it the way it is or switching it.  I said I wanted to keep it the way it is because I wanted DJ to have dad's full attention.  David came out saying that our girls are still there, so he just does not have his attention but also the girls.  I know that but he will not have to deal with the girlfriend girls wanting attention from you too.  He would have dad's attention only.

So I have been thinking about this.  My feeling are in play here.  I don't want to see that they are becoming a family and moving on or worse that they could make it happen.  When we (David and I) couldn't.
But I do see that DJ may become jealous of the girlfriend girls too.  Just like my older girls are.......  Yep, they are jealous, but David is dealing with that.  Seeing that he is doing that I think he could deal with DJ if he becomes jealous about Kathy's girls or maybe that is why he is acting the way he is acting right now......

I realize this........  Another pain that I have to deal with.  I want to let it go, so I am thinking about switch the weekends.  Big step, huh........

But I want to make it clear to David about all this.  I know that he wants to switch the weekends, so he and finance could have 2 weekends out of the month only for themselves.  I want him to know how selfish this is on my part and maybe show him that I am moving on.  And I want him to know that the next time we have some kind of issue; he would remember this.

The thing that scary me is that he could be an ass at times.......  and I will be the one with egg on my face.

Till next time........
   

COMING DOWN FROM THE WEEKEND............................

I forgot to write on Friday that I broke it off with Michael.  I was a fool about him.  He was a player and found out.

But like they say.....
One door closes and other opens.........

That is so true........
I meet Justin Friday night, and spent the whole weekend with him.  OH MY......
He called me yesterday and has started calling me his girlfriend.  He wants to be with me.
Where to start.......

He is young, 29, will turn 30 in December.  He was in the military, and works like a contractor for the Department of Defense.  He lives in Beeville which is about 1 hour drive. He does not have kids; I worry about that because I can't give him any kids, but he knows and still wants to be with me.  We have so much attractions for each other.....  so much.  He already has a name for me; he calls me his brat.  LOL.....  I sometimes call him brat because he is a brat, sometimes..... LOL......  but I do call him Bunny.  I will not say why I call him that; maybe one day I will. LOL...
I feel so good with him......
I am in cloud nine.......  He makes me feel so good.
Thank God......  I think I found my angel.

He has a good head on his shoulders; he listen and wanted to listen to my problems.  He also gave me advise on how I should handle things.  He is so full life.  I think we bring out the best in each other.  We have alot in common, and it is like we fit so right.

Will see how things go, but from what I see right now....
He is the one......  I hope and pray.

I have a busy day today.......
I have a parent/teacher meeting today at the daycare.  DJ has his good day and bad day, but I will see his therapist today too.  I just can't understand this angry or maybe I can, but how to help him over come it.  I wish he undetstood better.  I will also take him to his 4 year check up with his doctor.
Plus we will be going to Portland.  My friend Susan is off today; like me, and we are going to get the boys together at the pool; the real nice pool.  I had DJ's party there when he turned 3, but it will be nice to get the boys together and spend sometime together with Susan.

Till next time........
  

Last night, I had a birthday party at my place.  I invited friends and plus their spouse, if they had.  Well, only the ladies showed up.......

Why is it that you get a room with ladies and served them wine.  Then the conversation goes to men and their dicks..... LOL...... sorry about that.......

We had a wonderful time.......

I did remember something that I had done, which reading Lisa Jo's entry yesterday and speaking about it at the party. I wanted to share it here..... 
It shows how Lisa Jo knows me to well........  strange.

Ok, Melinda, who I use to work with at the cable company, and we still get together for lunch.  She works with this guy named Joe.  Which he is a hotty and young......... LOL.... Have to have the young ones, huh....... LOL....

Well, one day I was acting very badly, and I mean very badly......  It was rainy, cats and dogs. I went over to Melinda's work place, and she just finish talking to Joe on the Nextel phone.  Melinda had to go to the lady's room, so I was sitting next to the phone.  I pick up the phone and said hello to Joe.

Joe: Uh, hello.

Me: Did you know who this is?

Joe: Uh, No....

Me: This is Brenda.

Joe: Hey, what are you up to?

Me: Nothing, just here with Melinda.  Are you wet?

Joe: Yea...  soaked. I am heading back to the office to change shirts.

Me:  Oh..... Do you need help with that? LOL.....

Joe: Uh.... I am around the corner from the office.  I will be there in a few second.

By this time Melinda is back from the lady's room.  She asked who I was talking to?  I told her I was talking to Joe and told her about the conversation.  She knows that I have the hots for Joe.

Oh, quick note:  Joe at this time had a girlfriend, so I kept my paws away.  Melinda told me yesterday that he has broken it off with his girlfriend, YeeHaw........

So Joe comes in and he is soaking wet..... soaking. My heart stopped for a second.  I smile at him and ask him if he needed help removing his shirt.  He just smiles and laugh at me.  He said, "No, I got it." I asked him again, "Are you sure?"  I tell ya, I was being bad.......  He just smiles at me.......

Well, I was leaving the office, and head outside.  I realize I left my keys on the desk.  So I head back into the office.  My keys were by the desk that Joe was stand next to.  I reach around him to grab my keys, and I slightly touch him.  I just touch him...... and then head back out outside to leave.

Well, the next day, Melinda told me that she asked him if I had touch him.....  And he said yes with a shock look on his face.....  LOL.....  I was being bad..... but it was just a touch.  Well, he must of liked it because till this day.  Melinda and Joe still talk about how I was acting towards him and that touch.

But.....  I think I scaried him from what Melinda tells me.  LOL....... I would rock his world...... LOL......
Yes, Lisa Jo......  all the hotties in the house around me....  I wish...... I will try.....  LOL....... I am so bad.....

till next time.....

 

I was up at 5:40 this morning, and I tossed and turned; I am so tried.......

I need to add this the last entry.  Apparently, DJ pulled his shorts and understand while standing in a corner.  She asked him to pull them up and to sit on the cushion because it was nap time.  As for the ex and DJ's conversation it was on the cell phone.

I did talk to therapist this morning before going to the daycare.  She advise me to talk to the director and see where this would go.  I did remind her about how I felt about DJ being with dad for the whole month of July, and now the month is over and look at what I am dealing with.

So I did go and talk to the director.  She was surprise and said that she would not think that Ms. Nicole would do that.  We talk and talk about everything, and I did request that either DJ was to be move or the Ms. Nicole needed to be move.  In the end, the director said she would move Ms. Nicole to other room. 

I have heard back from the director.  She said that Ms. Mary was in the room when this was happening and can confirm that DJ putted his shorts and underwear down, and that Ms. Nicole was asking him to put them up.  She said that it might be conflict of teacher and student, so she will be moving Ms. Nicole that this might help the situation. Plus they are going to move his nap cushion to front, so they could keep a closer eye and more attention to him.  For me, I get him to bed early, so he does not nap, but they are set with the rule that he has to lay in his cushion for 1 hour for nap.  But they are going to sit with him and pat his back to see if he will nap.  This is so much going back and forth.  With dad, he had a different schedule, I have a different schedule and now the daycare.  We need to come together.

And why did DJ pull his shorts and underwear down?  That is still my question.  I need to talk to the therapist....... and DJ too.

What away to start my birthday..........

        

OH.... the argument with the ex yesterday.

Ok, where to start, it start about talking what happen at daycare, but then I told him that I need to talk to him about what Sabrina had told me.  There was 2 things I wanted him to know about.  I told him that she said that he has not apologize to her about how she is feeling.  He told me why should he; he has not done anything wrong.  Sabrina needs to be more involved, and not keep herself locked up in her room.  I told him why do you think she is locking herself up in her room.  He did not understand.  So I then told him of the second thing.  I told him what she said about the priorities.  His responds was, "Yea, my priorities have changed."  Jerk......  that is when I lost it, I told him that the girls are talking to me about what is going on in that house, and they are not happy.  But I was not going to get involved that is something the girls and he are need to deal with, but I know.  But I asked him also when he was going to give me the money for the girls clothes.  He came back saying that he should not.  I don't contribute with child support for the girls.  I should be happy to help with this.  I told him; go ahead and take me to court to get child support for the girls.  With my part-time check I get.  The judge will laugh in your face.  Like I could help with child support.  This money I am using is money to help me with my college, I am having to juggle things, and now he is saying that he not going to pay me back.  I took pity when he asked me to help out.  He gave me a sad story and said that he did not know how he was going to pay me back, but he would.  And now he is not......   What I mess I got myself into.......  But I was worry about my girls getting school clothes.

What pisses me off, he is the one with the big paycheck, and I pity him and look at where it got me.

I am just a mixed of emotions.......  This is too much......

And It suppose to be a happy day for me........

Till next time......

 

I can't sleep............

I am so worry................

I picked up my son from daycare, and the teacher had a talk with me.  She told me that during nap time.  DJ had pulled down his shorts and underwear to almost his knees and just sat on the cushion.  He did not want to take a nap and the rule is to sit on the cushion,either way, but that he had done this.  She asked him to put up his shorts and underwear and would not.  I asked her if she asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, and she said she did.  I need asked her if she told him that she was going to discipline him.  She respond by saying that she can not discipline him, he would not sit in the time out chair.  That she has been having problem disciplining him.  I asked her if she was the only teacher having problem or were the other teacher have problems too.  She said yes the other teacher were having problem.  She said that last week they had a sub and that DJ misbehaved badly.  I know last week on Wednesday they had called me to pick up DJ because he was already sent to the office twice.  She said that Marco wanted to see me because they wanted to set up an parent/teacher meeting.  So I went to talk to him and set that up.  I also asked him if they log each problem that they have had with DJ; times and dates.  He said yes, and I asked him if he could get me a copy of that.  I wanted it so I could talk with the therapist about this.

DJ is most good days, but them when he has bad days, they make it seem like he is always bad.  So I am comfussed.

Well, I came home and started talk to him why he did.  He really would talk to me.  So I called the EX.  He talked to him, but I did not over heard there conversation.  The ex and I got into a huge arguement which I will talk about tomorrow.  But I did get him to talk to DJ.  After there talk, he asked DJ to give me the phone, he asked if I over heard their conversations.  I told him no but he said that he asked DJ if someone told him to put down his shorts.  DJ said yes, and he asked who.  DJ said Mr. cole.  The EX asked me if there is a Mr. Cole.  I told him no, but there is a Ms. Nicole.  He said I needed to talk to the daycare tomorrow morning.

I am going to talk to the daycare, but what will happen?
Will CPA be involved, or do I need to get them involved?

I just can't believe that this is happening.  You all know that the EX's girlfriend girls situations.  At first when they told me about this.  Katy came into my mind.  Is she messing with my son's mind.  But now my son is saying it is the afternoon teacher.

Oh my..... I can't believe this is going on.  I have so many mixed emotion, plus the arguement with the ex today did not help. UGH.........  What a big JERK he is.

Please say a prayer for us.......

Till next time..........

 

Darn AOL.......

I wrote an entry, then click on save and it lost my entry.

I am so frustrated........
I spent the afternoon with my girls shopping for back to school clothes. UGH.........  Before we did.  We had lunch.  I told my girls that I knew about the news and asked them how they felt.  They said they were fine, but had a problem with the girls.  I asked them what they meant.  They said that Leah the older daughter lies all the time. That the other day they came back home from summer band and found that Sabrina's computer mouse and by the computer was soda spilled, which leah was the only one in the house.  So when they told their dad and confronted Leah.  She said that she did not do it, but when they arguing about it.  She started to cry and the ex took her side and said to drop it. 

Sabrina also told me that when the ex told her about Katy, a year ago.  He told her that his kids were his first priority, and now that has changed.  I could see her frustration.  I told her that she needs to keep trying to talk to her dad about things, but I know how she feels.  I am trying to make him understand things about DJ, and he does not understand.  I told them what I said to my ex, and how it would be with DJ.  Who can explain his feeling like the girls can.  This is why I worry for DJ.

Well, till next time......