Oh my..... guess who called me.

 

Luke, he called me Friday morning around 5 a.m.  Yes, he called.  I could not believe it, after I had told him goodbye and promise myself to move forward.  Things are good between John and I, and here he comes around.

We talked for almost 30 minutes and then he had to go to work.  He told me that he had a dream about me, and he had to call.  I asked him what his dream was about.  It was his mother calling him to tell him that I had call and was going to visit her.  That is so strange because I was talking to my friend Kristy two weeks ago about going to LA.  I wanted to go and visit her.  But mostly we talked about the pass memories, and it was so good to hear his voices.  But it was hard to remember all those feeling and memories.  He is also missing me so bad.  He asked me if he could call again, and I said, 'Yes.'

I know....  I been thinking since we talked about everything.  I have a good thing with John.  I do not want mess things up with him, so I wrote him an email.  I want to post here:

I daydream about you everyday it seems, and I remember all the beautiful memories we went through.  Than I remember that they are pass memories and that is all they will be.  I will not have future memories with you, and you can not give me what I need and want.  I need someone here that will love me for who I am, that will go through hard times and good times with me.  Who wants to be with me.  Be with me.........  I remember that you choose Courtney over me.  You left me.  How you did not want me and it hurts really bad because I gave you me.  It was not easy to love again after my divorce.  I did gave love a chance with you and you ripped me apart when you left.  It has taken me this long to heal, and I am trying to move forward without you.  I made that decision when I said goodbye, than you called me which youhave never done.  I was so happy that you showed me that you are longing for me.  BUT......  I have been thinking about this.  You just want to remember the pass; relive the old memories all over again and I can't do that.  It is hard just even the few daydreams I have, and now you want to call me and go over them again.  I can not do that.  Please do not call me unless you can tell me that you want a future with me, than I could see if that is possible.  I will always love you Luke, but I need more.  At this point, you can not give that to me....  so I have to move forward.

~BRIN

Tell me what you all think.

Till next time.....