This is a bad picture, but I love it....

Well........

My life right now......

I have a degree and looking for work; starting a career.  I am nerves and wonder which way my life will go.

 

As for my love life, John and I have been going on for 9 months now.  He has been so good and helpful to me.  There is something about him that I am still trying to figure out; why I am so infatuated with him.  We get along very well, and really don't argue.  We have a way of arguing; he respects me, and I respect him.  In fact, I am that way with everyone.  I have learn that yelling does not get you any where or accomplish any thing.  But John is a good man.  The only thing is that he is 23 years old and I am 38 years old.  Now, John and I do not have a problem with age.  What I have a problem is people who judge us.  They do not see how we feel for each other.  It is really. He is happy, and I am too.  His mom likes me, in fact, she wants to meet DJ.  She has told John that she would treat him as a grandson.  Now, I am not ready for marriage, and John has told me the same thing.  His mom is ready for grand kids.  She is hoping that John's brother, Mat gets married soon and will have kids.  She is at that stage.  John's younger brother will be graduating high school this month.  As for right now, it looks like we will not be able to go to it.  I have learn that living with a Navy man.  You do not plan things; you live for short plans, spire of the moments.  It can be exciting.

 

My kids are good.  The girls did not like the fact that I was dating a young man, but they are coming around.  DJ likes John, he helps me with him.  He always includes him in everything.  John's father left him when he was young, and his mother remarried after that, so John knows how is feels to be a raised by a step-father.  I believe that is the reason why he treats my son the way he does.  He is a good man.  I love him.  I am happy with him.

Now, for the other man......

My ex has still not found work.  It has been since Oct. that he has worked.  I am starting to worry because his severance's pay is about to end.  I have been receiving the child support thought this severance's pay.  I just pray that he finds work soon.  Plus I am getting a gut feeling that he is jealous that I have a degree now.  You see when we were marry; I tried to go back to school, but he did everything to ruin that dream for me.  Even when we were separated he told me that I should not be going to school that I had to find work to support our kids.  You see he did not finish school.  When we meet he had stop going to school; we were not dating when he made that decision.  He was dating his ex-girlfriend, but I became pregnant, and I image that he puts that fact as to why he did not go back. He always said that he needed to work to support his family; the same attitude that he told me when we were separated.  I now have my degree and he does not.  I realize that it takes sacrifices and sometimes many sacrifices to get that degree.  He does not see that.  I do now....  I hope he does not give me lip about this.

Well, I better get busy with things around the apartment.  I have been doing some spring cleaning (a couple of months behind) now that I have time, along with looking for work.

Till next time.....

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