Decisions, Decisions..........

Why am I still have problems making them; or better yet, why am I making them and regretting them.  Not able to stand up for myself or am I.

I am looking back on the purchase of my car.  I took one of my long time best friend with me, when I was looking for my car.  My friend asked the salesman if I could have the tax, title and license with the sales price on the car.  He agreed; but at the sign of the paper.  He did not.  My credit was not bad, but not good because of the divorce.  He had told me that they had a difficult time finding financing for me because of it, plus when I sign to purchase the car.  He quoted me $329, yet before the signing, he told me that it went up a dollar or two.  In the financing office, I found out that it went up to $347.  However, the financing salesman was trying to sell me the option packages, bring it up to $400 a month; a dollar or two, my ass.

When signing the paper, I notice that the tax, title and license was added to the sales price.  All I could thing was that I already had given the old car to Brenda Lee, and I need this car.  All I could think was I would deal with it, but I was screwed.  Plus this financing salesman was pushing on this options.  I finally raise my voice, "No, No, No...."  I am a single mother, here I sign and agreed to the $329, and now I hear that because of my credit, the amount when up to $347, and here you are trying to sell me this package making the amount to $400.  I told the salesman that I could only afford $300, but I would work thing out for $329, and now I am dealing with $347.  I can't do $400.

Bottom line is that it is done.  I have a $347 car payment.  People still screw other people.  I try to watch out, but they still do.

I don't know what to think, or what to do.  I can't stop thinking about you know who, Luke.  I am having trouble feeling like myself.  I have gain my weight back.  Trying to get back into exercising, but I can't seem too.  I have this great guy, he is not prefect, but who is.  I am dealing with the possibilities that he will be leaving.  And I realize how much I need someone to hold me, to love me, someone with me. I love him, but I need more.  There are thing that he is not fulfilling in my life. I just wonder if he could.

There is so much going on in my life.  Sometimes I do not want to talk or think about it.  My life is so screwed up, but I guess whose isn't.  This is life; the good and the bad.  Just try to hold on to the good, huh.....  Try to be positive.

Till next time......

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